I hate you, I love you
"I have to get out, I just have to." Eva grabbed her purse, throwing on a sweatshirt as she made her way out the window. There was no way in hell that she was going to wait around for her parent's permission to leave. They were sick of her anyway, had been for awhile. As soon as she had slid down the raingutter and started towards Loki's, her hands went into her jeans pockets. After being in her new home for a month she'd started to enjoy it. Loki was a good friend, there for her when she needed to talk and filled with good advice.
It only took a few minutes for Eva to walk to Loki's it was only two streets over and a few houses down. Eva was constantly finding herself at Loki's recently, it was a mixture of not wanting to be with her parents and the companionship she found in Loki. It was nice having a friend for once, a real friend. Even if she concentrated hard and racked her brain, Eva couldn't remember ever having a friend. That just came with the fact that in New York she was considered more than psycho. It wasn't her fault either, it just was.
"Hi Eva, Loki's in her room."
"Thanks." Eva was greeted by both of Loki's parents at the door, which wasn't weird. They were used to her coming over and were very nice. In the back of her mind Eva wondered what Loki's parents honestly thought about her. After shaking the thought out of her head, she continued down the hallway and into Loki's bedroom. Loki was lying on the floor reading a trashy love novel as she listened to Rancid. Just like Eva coming over, this wasn't an unusual sight. The books changed and the music changed, but most of Loki's nights were spent relaxing.
When Eva entered the room Loki waved her hand, knowing it was her. Eva slung her purse onto Loki's bed and sat down next to her friend. Loki didn't even need to look up to know that Eva was upset. Somehow their friendship was like that, they could just feel each other.
"Okay Eva, spill." Loki rolled onto her back so that she could look up at Eva.
"I hate it when you know how what I'm feeling."
"You love it at the same time." There was no way that Eva couldn't laugh, it was true.
"Yeah. I wish I could tell you what's wrong. I just don't know though, something's off. Something is defiantly off and it's kind of annoying." Eva nervously played with the sides of a pillow, trying to think of some way of explaining herself. "It's like I don't feel bad per say, just weird. Like I know that something's bothering me, you know?"
"I totally understand. Maybe it's just time for you to let it all out. Say everything that bothers you."
"This could be a long night then." Loki threw her head back and got up from the carpet. A few seconds later she came back with snacks and drinks. "Okay it's your turn to talk."
"Fine." They both took a second to settle in before Eva started. "Well, I'm having trouble adjusting, I have a crush on a boy that doesn't notice me, I can't seem to do anything well in classes…"
I jiggled my knee nervously, wondering what was going to happen next. Sitting next to me on my left was Eva, who was enthralled by her own date. On my other side was Mike, my date. Somehow he and Eva had convince me to go on a double date. Eva was out with a skater kid that was pale and tallish, I still wasn't sure why she was practically obsessed with him. Somehow since the week that we last talked, she's found a way for the boy she had a crush on to notice her. It probably was a mix of the fact that he had indeed noticed her and the fact that she had decided to go for it. But that's beside the point, Mike had somehow found his fingers laced in with mine. There was a look of absolute comfort on his face and so far I'd done nothing to stop that.
"So what do you guys want to order?" Eva's date, Jason addressed us, giving me an easy chance to reclaim my hand. I let go of Mike's hand and took hold of the menu, acting as if I were deep in concentration. Truth was I couldn't help but miss the warm feeling of Mike's palm against mine. After a few minutes of contemplating our server returned and we ordered dinner. Mike took that opportunity to grab my hand again, finding it enjoying to play with my thumb. The worst part of the whole experience was that I was enjoy it, relishing in the fact that Mike wanted me again. I tried my hardest to distract myself by joining the conversation between Eva and Jason.
"Yeah, their building a new skate park in the Creek. It should be legit, hopefully it'll be open soon." Jason was talking about some skate park, so I decided to wait to jump in. I mean thinking about Mike for a few minutes longer couldn't be that bad right?
"Mhm?" Mike and I were in the car as I drove him home. The ride so far had been full of only quiet music flowing from my speakers. I had been way too nervous to start a conversation, what if Mike really did want me back? What would I do then and what excuses did I have left?
"Do you remember that time we went to the pumpkin patch together? And we wrote on that child's train around the whole thing. I'm still not sure why the parents didn't want their children on the dinky train with us. Probably felt that the fact we were kissing made us heathens."
"Ha, yeah." I'm pretty sure that I had a dreamy look in my eyes as I remember the event. It was one of our best dates ever, if only we could relive that.
"Well, you know that pumpkin patch is still open, if you wanted to go with me.." As Mike finished he trailed off, watching me flick on my turn signal and pull onto his street. Instead of pulling into his driveway I stopped on the side of the street in front of his house. It felt weird pulling up to his house, I hadn't done it in a long time. And I'd never done it in the car I was driving. Part of me was overcome by nostalgia and part of me was disgusted by the memory of my break up with Mike.
"Mike, why should I go with you to the pumpkin patch?"
"Because I want to be friends again, I want you and I to move together. I hate the fact that I watch you form a new life, make new friends and make memories that I can't be involved in. I still care about you and I think that this may linger for awhile. Can you give me another chance to hang out? I mean I wasn't horrible tonight, was I?"
"No, not at all." I didn't look at Mike as I thought, I needed to make this decision on my own. "I..I guess so. What day?"
"Tomorrow I can pick you up at two."
"How about I pick you up at two?" Of course I preferred to drive us, that way I was in control.
"Sounds like a plan." After a few seconds of silence Mike reached over and pecked my cheeks.
"Bye Loki, see you Tomorrow." I watched as Mike walked up his house and disappeared behind the large mahogany door. Before I even pulled away I dialed Eva's number, I had to make sure what I was doing was the right thing.
((Thanks to everyone who reviewed last time, I hope that you guys love this chapter. Personally I think this chapter is pretty true to life and shows how I know sometimes I feel. I hope that you guys feel it isn't too "love story"-esque. I want it to seem realistic.))