uShattered/u

All that I have left to my name

Are these blackened lungs and these shattered dreams,

Of wealth, power, and fame

Left behind in the wake of evil schemes

And I think I am my own worst enemy

Two sides at war inside

But which do I let get to me

My anger or my foolish pride

When I was just a little boy

They said I could be anything I wanted to be

I can't believe I fell for their insidious ploy

It's almost funny how many people believe in me

Or believe in the legend I've set up

A bit of being a stoner

Mixed in with my comedian stand-up

Yet, always the loner

But never did I show them how weak

Just how insecure I was inside

Always following the sound of a different beat

As I heard it echoing from inside my mind

But now it's gone, I don't hear it anymore

Because I just fell through the floor

Of the seeming reality within my head

To see the truth I always knew, but never said

Upper class is upper class

And lower class is all I can be

No matter how hard I get out and bust my ass

I'd always be just a step up off the street

How could I ever even think that I had any chance at all

It's all just a joke that I hear

Inside my head right before I walk smack dab into that wall

And everybody thinks that I've just been drinking beer

I see it start slipping away

Everything that I have ever worked for

All spiraling down the proverbial drain

It seems as if the whole world has me on ignore

I used to see my future

And the future of the world

But now I'm not so sure

It's as if the colors have all swirled

In a crowded room, I feel alone

Nobody understands who I am or why I act

The way that I act when I'm not at home

When the odds against me are supremely stacked

So much anger and hatred boiling inside me

All pent-up next to my insufferable pride

Add that in with my unpredictability

And the fact that I hide

My true self behind this appearance

A facade coldness that's been a part of me for so long

I've almost forgotten how to show emotions

Around people that I haven't know for very long

But that's just me

That's all I can ever be

And it pisses me off to no end

But that's just my bipolar kicking in

So I'll try to end this quick

To start smoking this weed until I forget

My memories, my nightmares and my dreams

And my intelligence fades at the seams

So I can be happy living in this eternal nightmare

That they call life, until my ashes fly through the air

So goodnight to all and to all go to hell

I'm tired of being caught between the hammer and the nail