Once upon a time, there was a very short man. His name was Tire-Iron Jones. Tire-Iron lived in the sleepy little town of Elephant Shit. Elephant Shit was a very nice little country town, where not many people lived. But they all co-operated and lived in harmony.
The residents of Elephant Shit one day decided that they would burn Tire-Iron at the stake. And the community spirit of the town, they decided to do it all together, and have a communal barbecue to raise money for the Girls Choir. This consisted of two girls. Because that's all they had.
When Tire-Iron arrived at the barbecue, he had not been told that he was to be burned at the stake, and was most displeased upon hearing the news. But as he was a community member, he agreed to go along with the plan.
As Tire-Iron was being burned at the stake, everybody commented: "Oh, what a lovely day this is". Tire-Iron disagreed slightly, but decided not to say anything. Partly because he did not want to disrupt the gentle community spirit of the gathering, and partly because his flesh was being slowly toasted by the fire at his feet.
Everybody shouted "Hurrah!" and they all drank lemonade.