Introduction

Yeah, life can be boring as hell, especially if you're a hobo on the street. Actually, I take that back. I mean, you hear those stories about people getting killed and lo and behold, it's usually a hobo. That's pretty interesting. I mean, they can go over to the wherever dead people go and talk about how they died. Of course I'm just making assumptions, but hey I'm an Asian. And aren't Asians always supposed to be right?

Of course! Duh! Being Asian, I must always be right. I wish!

Don't ask me where these people get ideas about "Asians always being right". Because we aren't! At least, not me. Sure, we know our multiplication tables by heart, but that's only because are parents are all hardcore about academics and make us memorize every single thing in the textbooks. I remember as if it happened yesterday. THAT'S how bad it is. I would call it a traumatizing moment if only it hadn't been so intimidating. They want us to soak up about a billion things in a matter of seconds. A little like a sponge (Interesting metaphor, I know).

What I'd like to ask though is: Why can't people get it straight? I mean, Asians are just like other people. The only difference is that they have a scary-ish driving force, which by the way, are our parents. So really, life as it is for me is a very freakishly scary thing.

I mean seriously, when I hear people saying "Shouldn't you know? You're Asian after all…" What the hell? People always play the Asian card and it annoys the crap out of me. Just because I'm Asian doesn't necessarily mean that I'm a freak of a genius who does nothing but study like hell in my own closed up little room that receives no sunlight at all. Reality check. My room is a disgusting pink color with disgusting pink and white themed furniture. It has a huge window where it gets direct heat from the sun which results in turning my room into a miniature sauna. I sweat in my room. That is just wrong. Plain wrong.

To sum it up though, my life is a hell hole. No really, it is. The life of an Asian is simple. Get superb grades, go to a GREAT (Not good) college, marry well, and have children. Easier said then done. Especially for me since I'm not going to marry, have children, and go to one of those Ivy League schools that my mom gushes over. My mom's going to be pissed when she finds out that I plan on going to a not so Ivy League school.

Then again, there are a lot of things that my mom could blow up in my face about if I ever told her. Which I will. Someday. Say…the day of her funeral I can do a whole confessional where I fess up all the screw up's I've done.

Looking at my life, though, I see nothing different to a normal non-Asian's life, except that our parents push us too hard and we stress over more things at a ridiculously high level. Oh, and did I mention that we could possibly have even the most dysfunctional family ever? Scratch that, we MOST LIKELY have even the most dysfunctional family ever.

Yep, life as an Asian can be, as I like to say, a sweet sucker punch in the stomach. Okay, I don't usually say that, but let's all just pretend that I say stuff like that for about…I don't know…half a second? Good. Then half a second it is!

Lesson #1: Never, EVER OVER-estimate a kick ass Asian.


Author's Comment:

I finally have the guts to actually post this online. I've only had my friends at my school read it, but then they demanded me to post it online. Now I have. Anyways, this story is based on SOME stuff about my own life, a little from my friend's lives, and a little imaginary stuff just for the hilarity.

Anyways, to those of you who have already read my cliche/cheesy other story (Unseen Love), Hello again. And to those who have never read anything that I've written until now, Hello and welcome! I will be your Narrator in 1st person for the rest of this story. I hope you guys enjoy reading this since, strangely enough, I actually LIKED writing this. It was so weird. It's probably my most accomplished piece of writing I've ever written, which kinda freaks me out, but that's okay! :D

And not to worry! The rest of the story isn't short like this Intro. The Intro is only short BECAUSE it's an Intro.

By the way, the language usage isn't that bad. Inother words, I don't use it excessively all the time. If I must use it,it's just for a 'funny' effect.