I'M SO SORRY FOR THIS!!! :cowers in corner:


Elena, Victoria, Anastasia, Jeremy, and Tegan all sat in the front pew of the church. In the very front, surrounded by a bed of white roses, was a pearl white casket. Resting in that heavenly white casket, for all the world to see, her icy blue eyes shut forever, and her pink lips soft and full, was Abigail Espadero. She wore a dress of white silk, with a low cut collar and a light pink flower print on the skirt. Her hands were folded over her stomach gracefully and she wore off-white satin gloves.

Elena sobbed into her handkerchief. Damien watched expressionlessly as his ex-wife shook with every painful sob.

"Mija..." he heard her moan. Damien wanted so much to cry and sob for his deceased daughter. He wanted so much to run up and hold her in his arms, but how could he? He barely even knew her. He didn't know his own flesh and blood, and it disgusted him.

Victoria stared at the casket, tears rolling down her cheeks. She acted as though she didn't feel them.

"Mama..." she shook her mother's hand, "Mama. She's not dead." Victoria turned to Elena, her blue eyes full of indescribable pain. Elena just shook her head violently and pulled Victoria into her arms. For the first time, in a very long time, Victoria unleashed every hidden tear. Her body shook with violent sobs as she cried violent tears; sad tears, for her shattered family, angry tears, at her father for leaving them, anguished tears, for her sister's shortened life.

"Abi." she sobbed, "Abi, please. Don't leave. Don't leave us, Abi. We need you."

Elena shut her eyes tightly, refusing to look at the casket that held her beautiful daughter captive. How cruel fate had been to the Espadero family. Abi had been their pillar of support, their rock. She had provided them with the love and smiles that Damien had deprived them of. She had been their ray of sunshine after a rainy day, their blanket of warmth on a cold winters night, and their song, when they needed music.


Anna was numb; blind with tears that she didn't want to share with anyone. She made eye contact, and spoke with no one. She was sobbing in agonizing silence.

"Oh, God, Coupe..." she thought, tears burning her eyelids, "I'm so sorry."

Sorry couldn't cut it. She knew that. Anna could hear Abi's voice;

"Why, Anna? Why did you betray me like this? We were supposed to be best friends. We were Yin and Yang. How could you forget?" she would say, her icy blue eyes filled with sadness, betrayal and agony. All of which belonged to Anna.

"I didn't forget, Coupe." Anna would reply, tears streaming down her cheeks, "I'll never forget. I'm just a stupid, worthless, damned fool. Forgive me. Forgive me for not telling you the truth… please…"

But Abi would speak no more. She would turn and walk away, leaving Anna to drown in her own tormenting guilt.

Oh, why?! Why didn't she tell Abi the truth?!


Maybe it was Abi's destiny. Maybe she was destined to fall victim to that drunk driver. She was destined to pass away. Maybe, Jeremy thought, staring at the casket, maybe Abi is happy now...

Slowly, he stood, earning sad, tear-stained glances from Carter, Jordan, and a few others. He walked over to the casket, and gazed down at the beautiful seraph nestled in the bed of white orchids.

Her favorite flower...

Even in death, she was beautiful. Her ebony hair caressed her pale face like a dark hand swallowing the fair, bright moon. The soft pink lips that loved to lay themselves against his held a small, mischievous smile and Jeremy couldn't hold back his tears. They tumbled down his cheeks and dripped off his chin.

"How am I going to do this, Abi?" he whispered, "How can I survive without you?"

He sounded like a child. The same boy who had lost his sister, years ago, but he couldn't care less.

"I'll take it to the grave..." Abi had told him when she found out.

He wanted to laugh...

She really will take it to the grave...

"Please, Abi..." he whispered, touching her cheek. Soft, but cold. "Please forgive me."

Someone put their hand on his shoulder and he turned his head. Victoria was gazing down at her sister.

"You don't need to ask her to forgive you..." she said, her eyes filled with tears, "I'm the one who needs to beg for her forgiveness."

Jeremy shook his head.

"If it weren't for me, you two would've had so much more time together. I was so selfish..." Victoria whispered.

"No," Jeremy looked at Abi again, "I hurt her. You didn't. I... I need her forgiveness."

Victoria reached over and touched Abi's gloved hand.

"I never said it out loud..." Two large tears rolled down her cheeks, "But I love you so much, Abi. I'm sorry about all the horrible things I said to you. I really hope that you're happy... wherever you are." she stroked her sisters cheek and swallowed back a sob, "I-In a strange way..." she closed her eyes, "I envy you, Abi..."

Victoria lowered her head and began to sob. Jeremy touched her elbow gently but Victoria jerked her arm away and sat back down beside her mother. Jeremy looked over at Anna. Her eyes were cloudy and full of tears. Tegan's arm was around her and he too, had tears streaming down his cheeks. He refused to look at anyone and focused his distressed eyes on the casket. Carter was sitting behind him, head lowered so his chin was touching his chest, and his shoulders were heaving violently. Olivia had her arm entwined with Carter's, and she, too was crying heavily for Abi. She rested her head on Carter's shoulder and sobs shook them both. Olivia, Isaiah, Chad, and Janelle were sitting in the back, huddled together, sobbing ferocious, agonizing sobs. Elena's parents were sitting on the far left, clutching their hearts inhorror andJeremy felt his heart wrench with pain. So many amazing people. All of them, mourning the loss of one truly amazing girl.

"You have to forgive me." he choked, tears blinding him, as he turned to look at her once again, "I love you so much, Abi."

He couldn't believe that Abigail was laying there, deceased. He reached over and touched one of her eyelids.

"What I wouldn't give... to see those eyes again." he whispered, closing his own. The icy blue of her eyes penetrated his soul, and saw right through his defensive wall. He loved her eyes. They held so much emotion... Jeremy opened his eyes and bit his bottom lip. He wanted to fall to his knees and yell at God. He wanted to curse Him for taking Abi away.

"WHY HER?!" He wanted to yell. He wanted to pound the ground with his fists, he wanted to lift Abi out of that casket and hold her in his arms. He craved her warmth. He wanted to kiss her full, soft lips again. He wanted to shiver under her intense stare. He wanted her to say his name.

"I'll never stop loving you, Abi." he whispered, leaning over. Gently, he kissed her. There was no response, of course, but he closed his eyes and relished the feel of her lips anyway. When he pulled back, he imagined her blushing. He could almost see the faint color creeping across her slightly pale face.

Her eyes would cloud up slightly and shift nervously, he thought, tears pricking at his eyes again.

When Jeremy sat back down in his seat, Reverend Pike gestured to Anna. She looked around at the people who were there and wiped away two lingering tears. Slowly, she stood and made her way to the podium. The Reverend handed her a microphone and she swallowed loudly. Elena stared at her, her once healthy, peach-tinted face, was pale and ghostly, and her once happy green eyes, were distraught and full of shock.

"Abiga—" Anna's voice broke and she and took a deep breath, "Abigail Espadero was the sweetest person I've ever known." she glanced at Abi's casket and tears began to pour from her eyes. She held nothing back.

"She was an amazing friend, a brilliant mind, a loving daughter, and fun to be with. She was an angel. Abigail always knew how to make us smile. I never anticipated meeting someone like her. She quickly became my best friend, my sister, and now, I know she's my guardian angel. There's nothing I can say about her that all of you don't know already, except that she loved to sing. Some of you have heard her sing, because she usually sang alone. She wasn't fond of singing in public, but when she did, a large grin would appear on her face and that's when we knew, Abi belonged on stage."

Elena began to sob and Victoria threw her arms around her mother and sobbed with her. Anna bit back her own sobs.

"This, was her favorite song." The Reverend nodded towards the choir and the music started slowly. Anna looked at the ceiling, tears streaming down her cheeks, "Abi, this is for you..."

Take me back into the arms I love
Need me like you did before
Touch me once again
And remember when
There was no one that you wanted more...

Flashback — Anna's house. (Anna, 14. Abi, 14.)

"Don't cry, Anna, don't cry." Abi threw her arms around her best friend. Anna held onto Abi as if she were falling into a bottomless pit.

"I can't believe he's gone!" Anna wailed, and Abi patted her back.

"I'm sorry, Anna." Abi began to cry, "He loved you so much."

"Daddy..." Anna moaned, "I can't believe it... I hate drunk drivers, Abi. I hate them!"

"Me too, Anna." Abi nodded, "They take away everything that's important to us."

"I know." Anna hugged Abi tightly, "I miss him so much already!"

She hiccupped and bit her bottom lip angrily. "Why do good people always die so quickly?! Daddy, why did you leave me?"

"He'll always be with you, Anna. He'll never really leave you."

"Yeah?" Anna pulled away and looked into Abi's eyes. Abi smiled and wiped away Anna's tears, ignoring her own.

"Of course. His love for you matches your love for acting!" Abi nodded, "He'll always be here. He's in the walls, he's in here." she pointed to Anna's chest, "He's in your laughter, and your eyes, and your smile. And he's in your blood."

Anna smiled through teary eyes.

"I love you so much, Abi. We're going to be friends forever." she hugged her best friend. Abi nodded and hugged Anna back.

"Forever and ever."

End flashback...

Don't go you know you'll break my heart
She won't love you like I will
I'm the one who'll stay
When she walks away
And you know I'll be standing here still

Tegan lowered his head and started to sob silently. His shoulders were heaving and he shook his head slowly.

I'll be waiting for you
Here inside my heart
I'm the one who wants to love you more
You will see I can give you
Everything you need
Let me be the one to love you more

The pain was unbearable and Jeremy turned slightly and lowered his head into hands. He felt hot tears pour down his cheeks and didn't try to stop them. He would never heal. Never. It was as though a large chunk of his heart had been torn out and smashed into a million pieces. Why? Why were his last moments with Abi unpleasant ones?

"I'll never hurt you, Jeremy." Abi had whispered with a small sigh, as she feltJeremy's lips onher hair.

"I promise, Abi, I won't ever hurt you either." he had replied huskily, "You're safe in my arms."

I don't deserve to live, Jeremy thought, It should've been me. It should've been me sprawled on the street, drenched in my own blood and tears... not Abi. She didn't deserve this.

See me as if you never knew
Hold me so you can't let go
Just believe in me
I will make you see
All the things that your heart needs to know

I'll be waiting for you
Here inside my heart
I'm the one who wants to love you more
You will see I can give you
Everything you need
Let me be the one to love you more


Elena and Victoria stood up and walked to the casket. Victoria helped her mother close the casket, but not before Elena leaned over and kissed her daughter's forehead gently.

"Fly, my darling..." she whispered, tears gleaming from underneath her closed lids, "Now, you are free to paint the skies with your brilliant dreams..." A small sob escaped her throat, "I am so grateful for all that I have learned from you, mija..." she kissed Abi's soft cheek and stepped back slightly.

"Goodbye..." Victoria whispered, tears rolling down her cheeks. Elena took a single white rose and laid it on the casket, and as she did, she felt all her fears disappear. Abi would never be far from them. She would always be there; watching, laughing, and smiling with her beloved mother and sister.

"She will never really leave..." Elena whispered, putting her arm around Victoria's shoulders. Together, arms around each other, they sat back down and buried their faces in each other's hair.

And some way all the love that we had can be saved
Whatever it takes we'll find a way

I'll be waiting for you
Here inside my heart
I'm the one who wants to love you more
You will see I can give you
Everything you need
Let me be the one to love you more

Anna lowered the microphone and the music died down. She stepped down and looked at Abi's casket.

"I'm horrible with goodbyes... So—" her voice cracked and she breathed in deeply, "I'll see ya later, Coupe..." she whispered, kissing her own fingertips. Gently, she pressed them to the casket. "I love you, and I mean it."


Damien, Roxanne, and her kids hung back silently, as Elena, Victoria, Tegan, Anna and Jeremy followed the casket slowly down the aisle of the church, and watched as it was put in the hearse. When they stepped outside, the smell of lilacs hung heavy in the air, and Elena watched silently as two birds flew above the white casket.

Jeremy looked up at the bright blue sky. It was a beautiful day... a day meant for celebration. The air was cool and crisp, and the clouds resembled small puddles of milk. A small, saddened smile danced on his lips and he pictured Abi's glowing face. How she had loved the bright summer days...

"I'll never forget you, Abi..." he whispered, tears pricking at his eyes again.

He knew without question that she would always love him... The best of him, was with her now. And someday, she would forgive him...

Until then...

He would respect her silence...

Hola! Author of To Love You More, here! (duh!) lol. Anyway, all horrible jokes aside, I just want to say, "I LOVE YOU!" to ALL of my reviewers! You kept this story going and I especially want to thank the reviewers who have been with me during the beginning! (Hey... this sounds like one of those Oscar speeches. XD lol.) So... yes... I really enjoyed writing this story, and I'll miss working on it. :grins: I hope you enjoyed reading it. I know, the ending sucked Easter eggs, but I tried. And I am SO sorry that I killed Abi... But, in all fairness, I did warn you that all of my stories have some angst in it, right? :nervous laugh: Anyway, I'll stop rambling on and on. Please, please review this thing that I call a chapter!

Sadie aka And We'll Dance :)