Sexuality
In the past, I treated it as a burden
It happened to my body, it happened to my mind
You couldn't call me sober
Not with all that flowed in my veins
I couldn't help it
Everything became sexual
Everything was about sex
There was nothing else in the world
It wasn't like I had a choice
After all, I am a man
What I had, however, was too much
Or so I believed
I was convinced that it was a bad thing
I knew what women thought of men
I knew this characteristic was unwanted
It was the thing that girls disliked the most of us
It was our testosterone levels
How could I not feel unwanted?
How could I think differently?
How was I not rejected by the opposite sex?
How does this all work?
How can life make sense to me?
How long did it take for me to be comfortable about this?
Never?
Sometimes?
Is there a cure?
Is this a disease?
I know why they call us the weaker sex
But that doesn't explain why I can't be above it
It doesn't explain how I thought I couldn't make myself a better man
It didn't explain how I could make the best of who and what I was
Nothing did
There was no explanation
There were no instructions
There was no guide to becoming a better man
I was on my own
I had to deal with it
I had to rise above my misconception of what I was
I wasn't diseased
It wasn't a burden
People that hate what I am
People that turn the other way
People that believe they are better than I am
They misunderstood who I was
Just like I did
What I have doesn't need a cure
What I have isn't a sickness
What I have isn't harmful to anyone
Not even me
I've done nothing wrong
I owe nothing to anyone but myself
I owe it to be true to what I am
I owe it to respect myself
I owe it to be at peace
I finally did just that
I am no longer weak
I am no longer insecure
I no longer feel disregarded
I am simply misunderstood
I have bettered myself after ages of angst
After many hardships and rejection and loneliness
Have I denied what I am?
Have I denied how strongly I feel on the subject?
Not at all
I have simply learned to embrace it as the true gift it is
I have learned the truth
The truth that all humans are equal
That both men and woman are very sexual beings
I no longer feel alone
I may still not be desirable
Not at first
But if I can convince myself of my accomplishment
I can convince others
Sex is not the same to me anymore
It became so much more
It is more of the mind than of the body
I have peace of mind
I have peace of body
I am now complete
I am now capable of making the best of what I am
I am not a pervert
Far from it
I am simply a man with dreams of love
And freedom of my sexuality
I can do anything
I can please anyone
And all I want is love
Sex will always be my freedom
Sex will always be an expression of my deepest love
Sex will never be without feelings of the heart
Sex will never be without the passion of the mind
Sex will never be without the comfort of the body and soul
Sex will never be without laughter or tears of joy
All forms of sex
From holding hands to a simple kiss
From cuddling to whispering sweet thought
From nakedness to pleasure
From comfort to climax
From a passion to a perfect moment
To many moments
To many dreams
To many joys
To much, much love
What I have to offer,
Anyone can appreciate
And it has little to do with my organs
For I am a sexual being
And a passionate one at that
I am a lover
Nothing less