Disclaimer: I do not own the real poem Forgive My Guilt, which was written by Robert P. Tristam Coffin. (I hope that poor guy had a nickname or something, like Bobby... . ;) Now, on with the poem!
Forgive My Guilt
Not always sure what things called sins may be,
I am sure of one sin I have done.
It was years long and ago, far and away,
Set beneath the dawn of the sun.
I sat on a hidden porch, cold concrete crawling with ants.
The grass grew tall and wick near my feet, but grew yellow and sickly farther away.
The sky and air alike were grey as the deathly pallor of a corpse,
Almost as if it could sense the impending sorrow and regret that would soon surface.
A small scaly creature scuttled past the flower pot,
Smaller than most, no older than I in terms of lizards.
And I, a mere child in need of a pet,
Frightened, it desperately sought escape,
But I, young as I was, was no match for the poor thing.
A small stick was all it took to keep the creature in place
But I was unskilled and unthinking, and morbidly curious
And smashed it in it's head.
It squeaked, tormented and tortured,
And struggled for dear life, but to no avail.
Legs and tail squirming, thrashing every which way,
But it was all in vain.
I came out again the next day to sit in that same spot
Until that point, I had forgotten my crime,
And if not for the sight I beheld it would have remained forgotten.
But a small skull, swarming with ants,
Has been branded into my mind and soul.
For years on end, to this very day,
The memory of that smoky grey skull
Will forever bring tears to my eyes, sorrow to my heart, and guilt to my soul.
The guilt runs deeper than words can describe,
A stirring in the soul, but not the peaceful kind.
I never knew, nor will I ever know,
What possessed me to torment a creature such as I did that day,
But I have hoped for years all that is grounded, helpless and unknowing,
Will forgive my guilt.