"Do you remember Jasmine?" she asked, almost absentmindedly over Hellogoodbye, "Jasmine Stevens." I didn't even glance over at her. The tone of her voice gave no reason for me to be afraid of what she was about to tell me. It was a calm tone, a casual one.
The image of Jasmine, a girl of about ten or so, flashed into my mind. She was smiling. There was a gap in her teeth, and her eyes were huge. I always wondered why her eyes seemed so big. Her sandy hair was long and unkempt, but what do you expect from someone so young? They have little or no worries about what others think of them.
It had been about a year since I'd seen her. Has it really been that long? I guess it has. I used to like her brother. He was that intelligent, awkward guy that had ideas of his own and wasn't afraid to share them.
"Yeah," I said. I was in a particularly good mood that day. Maybe it was the music, after all Hellogoodbye aren't dreary like so many bands out there today. I love how they don't have a gloomy aspect on life, in fact a few minutes earlier I had told my mother that I would love to see them and meet them. I wouldn't mind having a Hellogoodbye slumber party (and I bet Hellogoodbye wouldn't mind either, seeing as they aren't the biggest band ever and hotels aren't exactly cheap).
She paused for a moment and then said, in the same tone of voice, "She was hit by a car." My attention was once again focused on my mother; I couldn't look at her though, already thinking about Jasmine. She continued, not noticing me, "She's in a coma."
I couldn't speak. Two thoughts occurred to me. One was that Hellogoodbye was playing, and it's not something that would remind you of that piece of news. The other thing I thought was just what my mother said, that she's in a coma. After a while I thought, "I wonder what it's like to be in a coma", and then I thought "I wish I believed in God, so I could pray for her".
My mother seemed to intake my silence. She said, in that same tone of voice, "Yeah, everyone had that reaction."
I sat numb in my seat, not willing to continue to sing along with Call N Return, by Hellogoodbye. As the song finished I blankly skipped over Hellogoodbye to Ted Leo and the Pharmacists, out of habit; I really wanted to burst out sobbing for Jasmine or pray to a God that I don't believe exists.
And then I thought "She was kind of annoying". Am I really this shallow?
Only when I related the incident to others on my 'xanga' did I happen to think "Why couldn't it have been me?"
As I was walking through a life one morning
the sun was out, the air was warm, but
Oh, I was cold
Author's Note: The little bit of lyrics is from the song Me and Mia by Ted Leo and the Pharmacists.