I wonder what it would be like:

to be part of a family who doesn't cuss everyone out and hit each other; to have a mom who doesn't run out all the time and then come back days later acting like nothing happened;

to not be confined inside these walls; to have some control over the things that happen around you; to be able to say what you think, experience what you feel, and tell someone when you're hurting; to not worry about how other people feel about your crying; to not be afraid of reactions, of questions, of losing your image; to be frustrated when you're angry, to cry when you're sad, to scream when you're scared, to shout when you're happy;

to not worry about surviving just one more day or even the next five minutes; to not need medicine every day; to not agonize over every little thing; to know what is truly your fault and what isn't; to know that someone will always love you no matter what; to know that someone will always be there for you when you need them; to not always having to be responsible for other people's actions; to not hurt so much; to not need an escape so badly;

to know the boundaries; to understand the rules and what you're up against; to know the whos and the hows and the whats and the whys; to not have to turn to a metal blade like a hug from a friend; to not need a blade to express things for you; to not need the blood or the rush of endorphins; to be able to find the good in people, not just the bad; to be able to sleep at night;

to only worry about what you'll wear to school in the morning, what quiz you have next period, who's dating whom and what party's going on soon;

to not live in secret; to not be terrified of thunder; to not have to run; to not have to hide from HE, from anybody; to not fret about being skinny.

I wonder what it would be like, to be normal.