She turned back once more, and gave her past life one long last gaze. Memories of the past rushed through her body bringing joy and liveliness back into her, and without knowing, she felt a tear roll down her cheek, the last tear she would shed for Lynngate shattered onto the ground. She turned around and never looked back again, that was the last time Angelique gazed upon her beloved Lynngate.
That summer was different from all the other summers in her 12 years of life. After that summer, she would not go back to Lynngate in September, she would not see her friends ever again, she would not be in the same class or have the same teachers. She would never be the same again. That summer was spent to the fullest extension, she camped with her best friend for a week. She started and ended her first relationship. She biked and explored her whole neighbourhood inside out with her best friends. She really thought at that time, that she and her friends would have an everlasting bond, yet later on did she realized how childish this thought had been and how very wrong she was.
Middle school was no home to her; instead she found it a drag. Her moods began to twist cynically. Her friends had all disappeared from her and her grades dropped faster than it rained outside. Her life became contemptible and her cheeriness died out on her. She felt as if no one understood her, as if she was wandering in the dark alone with nothing to guide her. She felt alone all the time; she could be in a sea of faces, yet still feel alone. It was as if everything she had perished on her. Her life had made a huge outbreak, nothing balanced anymore, and she went through like this for endless days; she had lost count. Everything she did was too dull; she wanted something extreme, she wanted some life, yet whatever she did seemed boring and dead. Sometimes she even played sick to her parents in order to skip school, yet before she was eager to go to school from September to June.
She missed her past life painstakingly and did everything she could to forget those memories; to store it away in her brain, but failed and failed endless times. She wrote poems and kept pictures, captions and stories. But it was all no use; she would lie in bed all night refreshing her brain with all her Lynngate memories. Play them over and over again, until her eyelids had no choice but to shut out on her. This did not happen "once in a blue moon," it occurred perpetually to her. Yet one night, lines and lines of poetry floated into her head, and she furiously scribbled them on her notebook. The next morning, she wasn't able to recall the lines, but in her hand was her pen and beside her was her notebook. It wasn't until she read this poem did she see how senseless she had been, life was very full all along, there was more to it than just living in the past, it awoken her and brought her back to the present-day.
Lynngate Jr. P.S.
It was here where I learned my first letter,
It was here where I wrote my first word,
It was here where I made my first sentence,
And here I did it using punctuation.
It was here where I felt happy,
With joy and excitement too,
And here where I was eager,
To find out what was new.
T'was here where I built friendship,
The bonds that still last till today,
T'was here where I met teachers,
That kept me busy throughout the day.
In here I found myself,
For the first time,
Fought away tears,
And learned nursery rhymes.
In here life was a breeze,
This is my carefree world,
The worst there was,
Is a mean playful tease.
But grad came too soon,
And friends left too fast,
My life felt as if,
It was all totally ruined.
Yet before I knew,
I was at a new school,
New kids, new rules,
And new teachers too.
This was all happening too fast,
And I can't slow it down,
I want to go back,
And enjoy my spent past.
I missed my old life altogether,
But as time healed my wounds,
And made me feel better,
I knew that Lynngate would be in me forever…
She broke her old habit, and turned over a new leaf, she started to bring herself back. Her cheeriness enlivened itself and bounced its way back. Her collection of friends was all edited and added, and she started change the world itself. Her cheerfulness adjusted those with rough attitudes. It seemed as if she guided everyone through their dark times. Yet none of her friends really understood her, not fully at the most, they wouldn't know if she was breaking down, if she pasted on a fake smile. Yet, she realized later that when she really was happy, her smile was fuller and more cheery. She really and honestly thought the hardest and most difficult time in her life had past, she didn't yet understand how her life was still teeming with darkness.
Sure, she was the most cheery girl to everyone; she makes them laugh with her clumsiness and humour, she makes them forget all their troubles, she helps them resolve all their problems, she was the sun in their world, yet do they ever wonder if the sun has troubles. They never got to know her well enough to know what she was thinking or lend her a hand when she was in trouble, they thought to much of her, she was their sun, and the sun had "no" troubles or problems, but if they ever walked a mile in her shoes, they'd never ever feel incomplete, useless, alone, or hopeless.
She would never forget that day, the day she met him. She had had the worst day at school. Everything was hectic; her boyfriend dumped her in a harsh way, she regrets ever knowing him. She had always been insecure about her weight, and when they started going out, he was all "I don't mind, you're always pretty to me," and she had believed him, she had told him about her insecurity, something no one knew, they all thought she was the bold and confident one, yet inside she was really afraid of what people thought was her, it was her secret.
That day, she found out that he had trashed her locker, she had told him the combination, she trusted him more than a friend, he was understanding, everything she wanted, yet she didn't know who he really was. When she opened it, cans and cans of slim fast poured out with a repulsive note that read: 'Here's a lil goodbye gift, I found a skinnier girl to go out with.' She was shattered and infuriated at the same time. Kids all around her started laughing, and everything else in her locker was found later in the mud outside. On top of all that, she heard that he told everyone her locker combination, but she didn't think much of it. Yet in 8th period, her locker was again trashed with leftover lunches for the 3rd time that day. She didn't know what to do; she had spent two hours cleaning it before, skipping class.
That was the last straw she could take, it was too much in one day, she slammed the locker door close and ran to the washroom, holding her tears and anger back. Inside the stalls she stayed for hours, until the caretaker came to clean it after school. She ran home that day in the rain, no one in her family thought anything was wrong with her, but they never got to know her. She rushed to her room, shut the door and just lied there on the floor in the dark crying. She cried herself to sleep; the last thing she heard was the rainstorm gradually slowing. In her dreams, a blessing boy with wings and a halo talked to her, he had hazel brown hair and baby blue eyes, and was dressed in a white robe. He had a very peculiar talk with her and flew off into the sunrise later saying it was morning.
"Where am I?"
"Who are you?"
"I'm your guardian angel."
"There are no such thing as guardian angels."
"Then what am I?"
"Ok, there is, I believe in them, but if the other kids found out, I'll lose my reputation. Well…actually I have no reputation anymore."
"Yes you do, stand up for yourself, I know you have more than tears inside you."
"How would you know, you don't even know how screwed my life is."
"Your. Life. Is. Not. Screwed."
"How do you know? You're not even me."
"I may not be, but I know so because the life of an angel can't be screwed.
"Well, F.Y.I. I'm not an angel like you! You probably live in heaven, in paradise, how would you know."
"Well…heaven really isn't heaven without you."
"What are you even talking about? Plus, if you're my "guardian angel" why didn't you come out when I had to leave Lynngate? Or when I had no friends? Or when I'm down? Why weren't you EVER there???"
"I thought too much of you, I thought you could handle it all, after all you are an ang…"
"So you're saying I'm cowardly and can't handle my problems? What kind of guardian angel are you? Are you sure you're not a devil? If you are please, DO kill me, I hate my life."
"I'm not a devil, I'm not going to kill you, I just didn't think someone like you would need a guardian angel like me, but I did help you when you left Lynngate, don't you remember the poem??"
"Who am I? I'm just your average teenage girl, why do expect so much of me? Everyone does! I have no friends! I have nothing! Why won't I need a guardian angel? WHY???"
"Because you are also an angel, one that use to be in heaven, you were sent to earth by god as a punishment, if you fail to cheer people up, you will never return to heaven and forever stay on earth as a mortal."
"Me??? An angel??? Have you gone mad??? I can't even handle being a teenager, an angel??? You're crazy!!!"
"You are! You'll see sooner or later, it's morning, I'll explain it to you later, farewell!!!"
"Wait! What's your name? Wait!!!"
She woke up with a start, the sun had rose up and the grey rain clouds were crimson, yellow and orange. The sunlight shone through her dark room, it was morning. On her walk to school, she wondered if she really had a guardian angel, if she really had more than tears and if she had gone mad too. Yet one thing was true, her wounds had completely healed on her, and she felt like a new person. Her ex-boyfriend didn't deserve her, her guardian angel's right; she's got more inside her than just tears!
She started to do more and more to improve herself, her low self-esteem left her and a new confident girl replaced it. She roamed the halls with her head high. She had given herself a makeover on the weekend, and her new look came with new confidence. She had gotten a new closet, got her hair cut, but not only was her appearance different, her attitude also changed. Everyone everywhere looked at her and people started saying hi to her, becoming her friends. She started drawing attention, and rumours of her spread like a fire through the school; she had become popular. You'd probably think that she's popular, that she'll have the perfect life, she too, thought so at that time, but you see, there was more to it than just that. Everyone took note of what she did and copied it; the way she dressed and the way she acted. She was cheery and tried to please everyone, but of course, it was impossible. Enemies began to build up and cliques started to form. Crushes went around and soon, she was going out with her crush, Evan Dwellings. He was the perfect boy she's been dreaming of since forever, and he asked her out!!! He never even knew she was alive before, and now, A DATE!!! She was thrilled, yet she played it cool. Everything was cool, he was sweet and they were the perfect couple, and she never saw her "guardian angel" again, until…
"Yes, we meet again, Angelique."
"What is your name? Why have I come here again?"
"My name is Andre, you are in the lower realm of heaven."
"Yes, heaven, don't you remember anything of it?"
"You have been erase thoroughly, you were once an angel, but you made a terrible mistake."
"What did I do?"
"You were the star of angels, but you had one flaw, you were curious and loved fun."
"Yes, you did, the most cheery angel, but your curiosity and playfulness took the better of you, you met Lucifer, a devil who tricked you into unlocking a numerous of them out from hell, now they roam the earth causing disaster and hazard to this day."
"What do I have to do in order to return to heaven?"
"Well…you must first send all devils back where they belong."
"How do I do that?"
"I'm not sure, it's a question even god can't answer, you must think of a way, you are the only one who can do that, and you must do it fast, if you don't succeed before you turn sixteen, you will die like a mortal."
"I will? How do I know if they are a devil or not?"
"Your charm bracelet will flash faintly with red when a devil is within a meter near you."
"This bracelet??? I've had for as long as I can remember."
"I know, there was more to your past life…"