I wrote this story last year for English class. It's just a bit of nonsense, but it did get me an "A." So joy for me! And I realise I did make a reference to a certain Captain Jack Sparrow, but I don't think this story can be likened to Fanfiction, so here we go! - Emily

Cap'n Jack woke with a start. A pinched, pallid face loomed in the semi-darkness above him, a hand anxiously prodding him. "Benny," Cap'n Jack cried in aggravation, "how many times do I have to tell you? Don't sit there and poke me, justsay mynameor something! Jeesh."

Benny bobbed his head apologetically. "Sorry, but I needed your help. The TV won't work and I'm missing the Simpsons!"

Cap'n Jack shook his head and got up, shoving aside the usual clutter and dirty, dusty socks strewn about. He was quite used to the mess by now. After all, he lived under a bed and junk is always stuffed under beds. Cap'n Jack had come to live under this bed after a little girl found him in the pond where he used to live, and taken him home. However, he had soon tired of the child's rude pokings and attempts to dress him up, so he'd escaped under her bed. That had been three years ago, and he figured that the girl had either forgotten about him, or thought he was long dead and gone.

Since then, Cap'n Jack had made a modest living area that he shared with Benny, the dust bunny. Benny was his imaginary friend, except Cap'n Jack didn't realize that, he thought he was real.

Still shaking his head at his helpless friend, he stumped over to the mini television set that had been shoved under the bed a while ago by the girl and forgotten. He studied his reflection in the black screen before he tried to turn it on. Cap'n Jack was a box turtle, usually quiet and always slow, as turtles have the tendency to be.

However, Cap'n Jack had some surprising traits not usually associated with turtles. Cap'n Jack, oddly enough, fancied himself a pirate. Yes, a pirate. Although technically he didn't need one, he wore a black eye patch over his left eye and liked to tell people that he had had his eye poked out in a duel. Also, in an effort to look like a certain Captain Jack Sparrow, he wore a big tangled black wig complete with a red scarf and beads. He had even changed his name to Cap'n Jack, in honor of the gallant swashbuckler. Anything was better than Pokey, his original name! He finished his outfit by strapping to his waist a short plastic cutlass that he had stolen from one of the girl's old Halloween costumes.

"WAIT!" he shrieked suddenly. "Benny, this means I can't watch my infomercials! Noooooo!"

This was disastrous! He had to get the TV going again. What if he missed the exercise machine one…or the smoothie maker…or – oh no – the deluxe disco 2-CD set complete with the learn-to-disco-dance video? He had so many favorites!

Benny, who had been smart enough to dive out of the way when Cap'n Jack lunged for the set, watched in horrified fascination as Cap'n Jack desperately pummeled the "Power" button, moaning and pleading and cursing loudly. Finally, defeated, Cap'n Jack crumpled in a heap before the cold, bleak television screen, sobbing piteously.

He had the approximate order that the infomercials played in memorized and knew it was about time for the "Complete Set of Stainless Steel Kitchen Knives for All Occasions" infomercial – one of his special favorites!

Still sniffling and hiccuping occasionally, Cap'n Jack got unsteadily to his feet. "Benny?" he implored of the quiet dust bunny, sounding like a lost and alone child. "Will you help me get the TV going again?"

Benny smiled reassuringly and told the disconsolate turtle, "It will be okay, we'll get it working, don't worry. Now how should we do this?"

Cap'n Jack, his pointed turtle-face screwedin thought, said slowly, "I think-hic- there's a spare battery for it somewhere. Probably, in the -hic- spare closet downstairs." He knew the layout of the house pretty well from having seen it all when the kid used to carry him around constantly.

With a slight shudder at the memory of the girl's sticky, squeezing hands, Cap'n Jack said, with noticeably more enthusiasm as his hopes swelled, "Yeah, I'm sure of it – LET'S GO!" And with that, he dashed out from under the bed and, all caution aside, across the room to the door that the little girl had conveniently left open.

"Wait, Cap'n Jack, wait!" Benny cried as he lit out after the turtle. It was not hard to catch up to the slow turtle, even as Cap'n Jack ran as fast as he could. Benny grabbed him and said, "You can't let the people see us! Slow down and be more careful."

Sighing in resignation, Cap'n Jack assented to Benny's advice and reminded the wise bunny, "Well, we do need to hurry y'know, I've already missed a lot of good infomercials so far…" he trailed off, staring forlornly over his shoulder into the darkness under the bed.

Silently, cautiously, both figures moved out into the hall. They stood on the upstairs landing and peered down into the living room below. The girl's parents sat on the couch in silence, watching TV. It was not, Cap'n Jack noted, the infomercial channel. No, they were watching a soap opera.

Cap'n Jack and Benny scanned the room for a sign of the little girl. She did not seem to be around, so, slowly, they began to creep down the stairs. It was an awkward maneuver for Cap'n Jack to get down each stair, but he managed. After all, he had to; he had to get to that battery!

Then, on the third-to-last stair, it happened! Cap'n Jack, already anticipating his infomercials, slipped and, with three loud clunks, tumbled down the last steps to the floor. As the people began to turn around, Cap'n Jack dashed behind a potted plant with a speed he didn't even know he had. Benny, frozen in fear, remained standing on the third step, seeing the peoples' eyes pass right through him without registering that something was standing on their stairs. Benny assumed that they thought he was one of the girls' stuffed animals, it never occurred to him that he was not even real.

Apparently satisfied, the two humans turned back to the TV to watch their show, the man making a sarcastic comment to his wife about haunted houses. Cap'n Jack climbed out from behind the pot, blessing his good luck that it had been there. Benny, still paralyzed in fear, would not move until Cap'n Jack had climbed back up the stairs to retrieve him. Then, with special care, they stole down the remaining stairs and into the hall.

They could hear a child's laughter coming in from an open window, revealing the whereabouts of the little girl. Coming back to the task at hand, Cap'n Jack and Benny began their search for the right door. With a sigh of relief, Cap'n Jack saw that all the doors were open except one. That would certainly make it easier. They passed a bathroom, a study, and a laundry room before coming to the closed door. The knob looked awfully high up from their perspective.

"Now we need a plan," Benny whispered.

"I know, let me think," Cap'n Jack responded. Various plans, some including catapults, a cavalry in one, and even a giraffe in another, swirled through his mind, all intertwined with random ditties and songs from the different infomercials he'd seen. Finally, he decided that they would need something to reach up to the doorknob for them, because he couldn't see how they could on their own.

He looked around – there was nothing that looked like it could be of any use. Well, that's just peachy, he thought, how will we do this now? Then he noticed that the house was really, really neat. This was kind of a random thought, but maybe it would help.

Cap'n Jack's analytical mind began ticking. If the house was really neat, then one of the people in it had to be very picky about keeping it that way. If he could get something out of the closet, and put it out of place, then the person would have to put it away and maybe he could get into the closet when they did.

Cap'n Jack ran this theory past Benny, who thought it sounded good. Then, suddenly, Benny pointed out that something was sticking out from under the closet door. It looked like part of a washcloth.

"Good going, Benny," Cap'n Jack said, reaching for the object. He grabbed the edge and pulled. It was a washcloth, all right, and, luckily, it came out from under the door beautifully. "Now we have to put it by those two people watching TV," Cap'n Jack declared quietly. "Hopefully one of them will get up and put it away!"

Benny and Cap'n Jack sneaked back into the living room and, standing behind the couch, Cap'n Jack lobbed the washcloth over the back right next to the man.

"What the heck," they heard.

The man's wife looked over, "What is it, honey?"

"This just landed in my lap outta nowhere. It just fell there. Strange, huh?" he asked.

The woman smirked. "Hardly, it's probably been there the whole time and you didn't notice. Here, I'll put it away."

Cap'n Jack gave Benny a fleeting glance of triumph before they both ran back to the hall. Lurking in the study doorway, right across from the closet door, they waited as the woman opened the door and set the washcloth meticulously on a ramrod-straight pile, but not before she had folded it.

"Wow, she is neurotic," Cap'n Jack muttered to Benny.

The woman gave the door a slight push to close it, hurrying off as her husband called that the commercials were over and the soap was starting again. Cap'n Jack lunged forward and caught the door before it closed all the way. Not wasting any time, he and Benny rushed into the closet.

Cap'n Jack gave a strangled cry when he saw the battery sitting right on the floor before him, not even on a shelf! He grabbed it and hoisted it up onto his shell, ordering Benny to keep it from falling when he walked. They set off for the stairs and the TV that waited beyond.

Getting back up the stairs was rather difficult, but they managed it. Finally, back under the bed, they breathed for what seemed like the first time since leaving their refuge. Grinning broadly, Cap'n Jack circled around to the back of the TV and fitted the battery into its place, after removing, and spitting on, the old one.

"It's time," breathed Cap'n Jack reverently, with a grateful smile at Benny. Just as he reached for the "Power" button, however, the distant rumble from downstairs that was the peoples' soap opera stopped.

"Crap, it blew a fuse!" the woman's voice yelled.

They heard footsteps on the stairs…coming into the room…pausing by the bed.

"Don't worry, honey," the man's voice exploded right above them, "I'll just get this mini under Sarah's bed."

A hand appeared from above, groping. It's fingers closed over the TV's handle……