Space Bores: A Parody of Galactic Proportions
Chapter 11: Re-Write Time
The Engineer had it. Thankfully, it was all fast-forwarded. Going through a plot hole, he found the writer again.
"You know, that was the worst story I was ever in!" he exclaimed as he pulled out his Peacemaker. "This is being merciful on you for that sick story, you know."
A two gunshots and two blasted knee-caps later, the Engineer through the writer through a plot hole he opened. Now, however, he had a computer in front of him. He quickly got to work rewriting the story a bit. He brought Mbwun, Baka, and Shirley into the real world with him, and got to work writing.
"What did you have planned for them, Engineer?" Baka asked.
"Just read," the Engineer smirked. "Now, Shirley, mind using that ability of yours to summon Men in Black? They'll help a lot."
Meanwhile, back on the Pendergast, plot holes galore opened, and guys with black suits and sunglasses appeared. They began getting Elron, Ravyn, Beppo, CAMPY, and DB and throwing them into plot holes.
Elron ended up in a prison cell where he had to listen to the families of the people he brainwashed telling him what a creep he was, and no more "making sandwiches," save when his cell-mate got that dirty look in his eyes.
Ravyn ended up where most spoiled high school losers end up, a drunken, fake blonde sorority girl in college. Eventually, she would end up as an SUV driving soccer mom who liked talking on her cell-phone while driving.
Beppo ended up just "married" to Goneria in their own personal layer of Hell, Lust, forever locked in copulation.
DB ended up on a street corner, and in France, none the less. Of course, she lacked the body hair of a werewolf, so she didn't get any business. She had a pop career for a while, but ended after she gave her producers too many STDs from alien planets. Rumor has it, though, you can still find her infected underwear and skimpy clothing on E-Bay.
CAMPY, however, ended up in an earlier season of Space Bores, before he was promoted to Corporal-AdmiralThe lead officer was named Captain Officer Ronald New-Ypres. This time, however, CAMPY was a random technician. Eventually, CORNY fell through a plot hole, and CAMPY took over. CAMPY eventually became old and bloated, and mated with the clone of DB in that season. He eventually became evil and fat and founded CRAP. Through a series of plot holes and inbreeding that would put most hicks to shame, he would eventually become his own father, Kaiser Urlich. He was also trapped in a time loop.
The writer sat, floating in space. Sure, he had his kneecaps blown out, and he was floating in space without a spacesuit.
This isn't so bad! Not knowing science is helping! I can breath, I'm not exploding, and I'm not freezing. Hah, the joke's on that stupid Engineer! I'm floating in space, but I'm okay! All I need to do is find a passing space ship, and then a plot-hole that leads back home, and I will get revenge! he thought.
However, the writer saw something that changed his mind real fast. Something was moving through space towards him. And it was whistling a Barry White tune.
After having the writer stuck in a time loop with Humpy, the Engineer concluded the story. He started his own engineering firm. Mbwun went off and became a writer. Baka and Shirley lived happily every after, in a house away from power lines, lead paint, or black helicopters. And then Space Bores soon found its way as toilet paper in homes across the world.
Directed By: Name withheld
Produced By: Name withheld
Sick Ideas By: Name withheld
Parody Materials Based On:
Countless bad movies seen on Mystery Science Theatre 3000
Anime and Manga
Martial arts movies
People who take this seriously
Teenage vampire angst stories
New Age cliches
Anything with "Space Elves" in it
Disclaimer: This story was solely for politically incorrect entertainment purposes. Anyone who doesn't like it shouldn't have read the story and can go fuck themselves. DON'T SAY I DIDN'T WARN YOU!