Based On A True Story

Life. The single most random thing on this green/blue/white/all the fucking colors of the rainbow Earth of ours. Things happen without warning. Some of those things can be good, like say for instance this short story you are now reading. And some of these random events can produce bad and scary results....much like this short story you are now reading.

Now we all know that life takes twists and turns and we all know how those twist and turns can be one hellava ride...a ride that some hate to see end, but love to see that picture of the highlight of the ride....and some would rather it hurry up before they vomit all over themselves and the other's behind them. As, much as we say and think, "No one has a worse life than me," Well, sorry to break it to you emo king...there is one person who has a sucker life than you....though your life might suck a bit more...just know that his life is close to sucking as much penis as yours.

This person's life sucked because of one thing...randomness, the randomness of life. It's something we have no control over and we just have to live with it. So, instead of preaching about how we should just accept fate and take life by the horns and blah blah, I'm going to tell you the story of this person's life (whom will be unnamed for the duration of the story) and tell you why it sucked so much. Hopefully after this you will find a cheap laugh or two (maybeperhaps) and feel touched and warm inside once you witness the downward spiral that is the life of a young man that never saw it comin'.

No Name will now be referred to as Anther.

Where to begin? Hmmm. Shall we begin like David Copperfield? He was born? He Grew up?...Or shall we begin when he was born to darkness (That line was sorta stolen from Interview With The belongs to them). Ok, you might be wondering what is this darkness I'm talking about. Well I will let you. It's a darkness that we all at one point in our life have or will be born into. This darkness is one of the hardest to detect because it's so glamorized with sunlight that it seems as if it's no longer darkness, but pure light. But this "pure light" is in no way shape or form apart of "light" and is far from being "pure".

This darkness is High School Graduation. Yes, I know, I know, "But that is suppose to be one of the best times of our lives!" No...that's what they want you to think. Graduating starts the beginning of the end. It marks the day that your life gets ass fucked repeatedly by randomness and fate, with no lubrication, just like on the movie Monster.

Now, you still may not be so sure about this, and that's fine, we all view things differently. The ass fucking of your life by randomness and fate might not be as severe as the fucking that Anther's life received. Most of us are lucky enough to get some KY Jelly thrown down by God...but Anther wasn't so lucky...he was fucked bone randomness and much as I would like to go into's just to gruesome. What the hell, people love violence and pain.

Prom Night

Looking in mirror, Anther checked over his tux. He was mighty sharp tonight. And he should be, it was Prom Night. He walked through his close-to-fucking-being-a-mansion sized house, his little sister, who will be known as Kiki greeted him with her high pitched voice that seemed to shake and disturb your very soul.

"Hello now!" Kiki said, breaking a few fragile items in the house, including Anther's six-foot tall Valedictorian trophy (nothing money can't fix) Anther stared at his little sis in his "Anther" way...a way that only people around him know.

"Kiki...why the fuck do you say hello now, it's not like it was so urgent for you to say it at that very second, of that very minute, of this very hour, so just drop the "now" and just say hello...or hey...." Kiki continued to smile as if Anther said nothing.

"Bye now," She said as she ran up the red carpeted stairs that led up to the west wing of the house. Anther brushed off some lent on the should of his tux and did some type of funky dance that only Anther would do. Side Note: Trust me guys....he busts out in random dances...he will fucking dance up on you...girl or guy, doesn't matter...hahahahaha.....bicurious.... Suddenly a high pitched scream was heard from upstairs. Soon after, loud numerous thumps could be heard from atop of the house. Anther walked over to a nearby window to find hundreds of birds laying dead in his yard with bleeding ears.

"Anther, what's going on?!" His mother said with an alarmed look on her face. Her ears were bleeding profusely...Kiki's was doing this. The scream was heard again and his mother fainted. Anther hurried to his little sister.

"Kiki what's the...OH MY GOD, DIAMOND!" Anther yelled as he entered his sister's room. Behind the door, in the closet, was his Bichon Frise' named Diamond, swinging back and forth from a rope attached to the door with a note attached to it.

"I don't know she possibly could hang herself...I mean, her life was so purposeful," Kiki said crying on her bed.

"Yeah...and beside the fact that she's a dog...I wonder how she managed to like tie this robe around her neck and hang herself from the door," Anther said as he tugged on the robe that was perfectly tied. "Kiki, didn't you learn how to tie a robe to hang yourself when you were in your angsty phase?"

"No brother, I did not," Kiki said, in a way that seemed as if she was reading from a pre written reply. Anther looked over to her and she quickly sled the index card she was reading from under her pillow. Anther then took the note from door and sat down to read it out loud.

Dear Family,

My name is Kiki and I wrote this. I don't want to feed Diamond anymore and I don't want to bathe her. She barks too much and smells of pee. To relieve myself of this burden, I will kill myself along with her...Goodbye,


Anther stood up with widened eyes and looked at his sister.

"Kiki, I can't believe you did this, I LOVED HER!" Kiki began to laugh nervously and damned herself for putting up the wrong fucking letter. She looked over to the dresser and instantly remembered that she wrote Diamond's suicide letter on pink paper. Side Note: Dumb bitch eh? The door bell down stairs rang and Anther quickly exited his sister's room to answer the door. His mother was just then gaining consciousness when Anther tripped on a step (How the fuck do you trip on a step going down??? Don't ask people, just putting down what actually happened) and kicked his mother in the head, knocking her out.

"Sorry mother," he said before opening the door. It was his prom date whom will be known as Tina. She was wearing a almost decent dress and her makeup was almost acceptable. Her hair......the sky was blue that day. "Hey Tina,"

"Hey Anther,"

"Ready for that prom?"

"Well...actually, that's why I'm here...," Anther laughed a bit.

"Yeah, I know, I kinda...paid for the limo,"

"Oh...yeah...but that's not why I'm here....I kinda...well, I don't want to go to the prom with you," Anther's face dropped.

"Why not?"

"Well...this guy said that if I went to prom with him, he'd blow my back out was a last minute change, sorry I couldn't tell you earlier,"

"Blow your...Tina, I can blow your back out...I can break it," Tina looked up and down Anther and laughed.

"I doubt it, but anyway, you gonna have to find your own way to Prom, limo's full, bye,"

"But I paid for the damn limo!" Anther screamed. Tina continued toward the limo, paying him no attention. He watched as she entered the limo and drove off. He wished to God he had a flaming arrow to shoot at the tires of the limo...or even better the gas tank...but he wouldn't do that, that would be murder and murder is wrong...Side Note: Some murder can be like totally awesome, like the Texas Chain Massacre...that dude like made a mask out of skin....that would be a fucking awesome Halloween mask...ok, I'm done, I know you guys think I'm weird already, anyway, back to story. Anther reentered his house and cried his eyes out. He was fucking dumped by his Prom Date. His mother finally stood up and rubbed her head.

"What's the matter baby?" she asked him.

"Tina stood me up..and took the limo...the limo I PAID FOR!," Anther said crying into his mother's arms.

"It's ok baby, mama will take care of everything,"

Prom was the last time anyone ever seen or heard from Tina. Some say she ran away with the guy she had met right before prom, to Canada, where he broke her back every night until he found out she had multiple STD's Some think that she was kidnaped and raped, then buried somewhere in a cemetery...where most people are buried when they die. But, I have this slightest hunch that Anther's mom had something to do with Tina's disappearance...but it's just a hunch...just a slight hunch. far you have witnessed two times Anther's life has been fucked by randomness and fate right at the point where his life has finally started. (Prom is before graduation...kinda a plot hole...but now it isn't because I addressed it, making it fact in this story, so there)

Now...lets move on...past the first year of college since he had sooooooo much fun there, to a summer....the Summer of 2005, when Anther's life started to take it's sharpest and deepest spiral downward.