Hades is in the underworld which is a giant goth night club.
Hades: There is the beautiful Persephone, but she does not care for me, every time I make a move on her, she goes away from me.
Just because I rule the Underworld does it mean I must be without love?
Though I must move upon the shrieks of the punished, and the reminiscent sighs of the deceased does it mean that I must be bound to a eternity of loneliness? Or does it mean that I am to linger on base emotions such as anger, hate, and pain.
NO, I say, I shall make Persephone see, I shall make Persephone mine.
Hades turns and exits stage right.
Chorus: As we, the great observers of the universe, the spirits of the wise, and the wise spirits, enter.
We notice the tension that courses through the atmosphere like tightly strung dicordinent strings.
We see not only a descent for the fair Persephone, but also the beginning of more pain for humanity.
Let us be quiet now and watch the chain of events as they unfold.Episode 1
Persephone is seated at a table reading a book.
Hades sits in a both nearby reading a newspaper, speaking to himself.
Hades: She is wonderful, but she wouldn't like me. I'm cold and dead, women do not dig that.
Women do not like me
because I'm Hades the lord of the Underworld.
I need a plan, I am going to get her for myself!" (laughs maniacally)
Just then Demeter enters stage left.
Demeter: Come on Persephone dear, it is time to leave Starbucks.
Persephone and Demeter exit stage left.
Hades: I will have to nab Persephone when Mommy dearest ain't around.
Chorus: What does crafty Hades have up his sleeve?
What does he plan to do?!
Enter stage right Persephone and Demeter strolling alongside each other down the street.
Persephone and Demeter stop at the edge of the stage.
Demeter: Persephone dear why don't you stay in this park for about ten minutes while I run into the cosmetics shop?
Demeter exit stage left.
Persephone skips and dances about.
Persephone: What is it in this park I may I see?
Be it bird, squirrel, bunny, or tree?
I am frightened to be alone though.
For that Hades wants to deflower my rose.
I shall turn to nature the gift from my mother to ease my concern.
(Persephone approaches a bunny and kneels next to it)
Good day bunny with a coat like silk
I wish that I were truly as calm and happy as you
Or perhaps you are not at ease, perhaps,
Your heart to feels the
woes of life.
I came to this park and nature I see.
But I also see something else from the distance
A large fiery black limo is heading towards me.
Enter stage right Hades in his "limo."
After Hades approaches Persephone he jumps out of his "limo" and grabs her.
Hades (loudly): My dear, you shall come with me, Persephone child, my wife you shall be!!
Hades with Persephone exit stage left in "limo"Choral Ode 1
N.I.B by Black SabbathEpisode 2
Chorus: Appalled we are at this awful display.
Hades has kidnapped the
fair Persephone today.
He has dragged her off to his Underworld domain.
And if something is not done, down there she shall remain.
Enter stage left Demeter.
Demeter: My Persephone is gone, what shall I do?
Enter stage left roaming spirit.
Roaming Spirit: I am the spirit of the deceased farmer Andrew. I on one of my trips to the gates of club Hades saw something of great importance as I was being turned away by his bouncer Charon, I saw Hades taking Persephone with him, down to club Hades.
Demeter: You are dismissed spirit.
Spirit exit stage right.
The pig headed man!!
He thinks that he can just steal my daughter.
That his driving lust is a reason to run away with my daughter!!
Hades shall fell my wrath, I shall withdraw my gifts from the land and all of humanity will suffer. With all of the death that will ensue Hades' realm shall be flooded with spirits.
Humanity may suffer, but I shall show Hades what the consequences for his obsession are!!!
Demeter exit stage left.
Hades and Persephone enter stage left.
Hades: If you don't want to be my wife you may stay in Eslyon bar until you decide to love me!!
Persephone grimly sits at the bar.
Bartender: What can I get ya?
Persephone: I'll just have a club soda.
Bartender: Here ya go mam.
Persephone glumly sips at it.
Bartender: Ya look glum mam, care to share your troubles??
Persephone: Hades is crazy for me, but I care for him not.
Why must society work like this?
Why must one's gender dictate their power?
I believe woman, and goddess' should have equal standing as their male counterparts
I refuse to love Hades!!
I will never bow down to his whim,
I am Persephone, the wonderful and free thinker!!
But for now I guess I shall just wait.
Persephone takes another sip of her club soda.
Clear stageChoral Ode 2
Symptom of the Universe by Black SabbathEpisode 3
Enter stage left Bartender, enter stage right Persephone.
Bartender: You been in here for six months, don't you think it's time to go talk to Hades, heck, it's not like you've even been drinking. The only thing you've had was a two sips of a now very flat club soda.
Persephone: No, even with how crowded club Hades had gotten in the last six months, there is no way I'm going to even budge, not even if a big fat hairy trucker wanted my seat.
Enter stage left Hades.
Hades: My beautiful realm has become over crowded!! Even with the demonically fast construction by Erinyes construction I still cannot keep up with the flooding, the only place that is not crowded is my private bathroom, which I am currently in contemplating to myself.
Exit stage left Hades.
Enter stage right Demeter.
Demeter: I do feel guilt for revoking my gifts from humanity, yet I still shall persist until my sweet Persephone is given back to me.
Enter stage left Hermes.
Hermes: Demeter, I have news from Zeus, he says by his decree that I and one witness, must go down to Hades and fetch your daughter and bring her back. He also decrees that as soon as she is back you give humanity their proper weather and nature back.
Demeter: Agreed. Go!
Bring my daughter back to me now.
Enter stage left Hermes and Roaming spirit.
Roaming Spirit: So your saying, that not only will I be getting Persephone back to Demeter by being your witness, but I will also finally get into club Hades.
Hermes: Yes that is the deal.
At the gates of Hades the duo is stopped by Charon, who enters from stage right.
Charon: You Hermes are so totally not dead, and you Roaming Spirit are definitely not cool enough for me to let you enter. So bugger off.
Hermes: We have been decreed by Zeus to retrieve Persephone.
Charon: Oh, um excuse me, go on ahead in then.
Charon shuffles ashamedly exit stage right.
Hermes and Roaming Spirit exit stage right.
Enter stage left Hades and Persephone.
Enter stage right Hermes and Roaming Spirit.
Hades: So you say that I must give up Persephone, because Zeus decrees it?
Hermes: Yes indeed, Roaming Spirit as my witness.
Hades: Fine you shall take her, leave me. Leave me once again cold and alone in infinity.
Persephone: Okay let's go!!
Persephone and Hermes exit stage right.
Hades: And for you roaming spirit!! You shall not leave, to club Hades. In return for your loyal service to the gods, YOU SHALL SUFFER IN ETERNAL AGONY!!! I damn you to the room of Fabio impersonators, for eternity with NO PAROLE. HAHAHAHAHA!
Roaming Spirit: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!
Roaming Spirit and Hades exit stage left.Choral Ode 3
Take it Back by Pink FloydEpisode 4
Enter Stage left Demeter, enter stage right Hermes and Persephone.
Demeter: I'm so overjoyed that you are back to me precious Persephone!!
Persephone: Mother!! I'm glad to be back, Hades smelled funny (Persephone sniffs arm with a look of disgust on her face.) Hades as in the place and the person.
Demeter: That is awful dear!
Tell me though, did you eat or drink anything while you were there?
Persephone: Yes mother actually I did, I had two sips of a nasty club soda.
Demeter: NO! All is lost, those who eat or drink from club Hades must spend eternity there.
Persephone: No Mom that can't be true.
Hermes: Since you ingested so little I think we can find a loophole somehow, we shall have it where you only spend some of time in club Hades, and the rest of the year with your mother.
Persephone: No I don't ever want to go back to that crappy place.
Demeter: (sighs) I shall call the months that my Persephone is gone Winter, to mourn for her not being here. And I shall partially revoke my gifts to humanity during this time so that no one will ever forget my or Persephone's pain.
Hermes: I guess I will go tell Hades of this change immediately. But dang are my feet tired. Oh well.
Enter stage right Hades.
Hades: I have heard the news, but until Persephone's visitation to my fair realm, I feel cold and alone. DJ play me some Floyd!!
Music (Nobody Home by Pink Floyd)
Hades slump down on the ground all depressed like and listens quietly to the music.
Chorus (speaking over the music): Today we have learned that love cannot be forced.
That it must be nurtured into, ahhh screw it.
Let's forget being profound for a minute and just say that now we know where the seasons come from.
If anyone has any moral statements about the play, we are open for suggestions.
Now we the observers have been enlightened and we must take our leave.
Hades waits until the song is finished and exits stage left.