Wise King Haku's Reflection on the Sexiness of Potatoes.
It has made my brain quite tired and worn,
But by my honour am I sworn
To complete this distressing task.
"What is it, sire?" I hear you ask.
The query is simple, yet quite vexing:
"Can a potato look rather sexy?"
I don't think it can, but know it must
For many foods might incur our lust.
Examine, if you may, the naked orange –
(Then again, nothing bloody rhymes with orange).
In that case, take the plum instead.
It plays far worse thoughts with our head
Than any mere potato could.
But still, I know the humble spud
Must be sexy in its own form,
And by my honour I am sworn
To make my brain go hyperactive
And say "Potatoes are attractive!"
For indeed, I am inclined to think
Potato brings vodka, the greatest drink.
And it indeed, if given a chance
Inclines us to remove our underpants
Then find somewhere rather out of the way
And do naughty things throughout the day.
So, therefore, if weighed in such a measure,
Potatoes can give us sexual pleasure.
Also, potatoes are grown in the grass –
The romantic hide of many a lad or lass.
So, I suppose, that in that fashion
Potatoes are linked to our lusty passion.
Chalk another one up for that noble veggie
I proclaim that they are quite sexy!
Now courtiers, I'll see thee all later…
I'm off to devour a bag of taters
And having made my appetite keen,
I'll go hunting for the Queen!