Words Of A Broken Heart:


Ever have that feeling when life just seems to fly straight past you, not really caring what happens to you in the process?

That's what I feel like now.

I'm watching everything change, people change, places change. My whole life is changing.

But I just can't keep up.

I want to go back to the time when every thing was simple, where there was a distinct difference between you and me. But now? Now it seems like I just can't get enough of you.

I wonder why my life has changed ever since you've been around. It's not like you weren't around before; I've always known you. But now, things have definitely changed. Times, places, circumstances.

I always thought that you and I could be friends, but I was always the immature 9-year-old girl, who still believed in cooties and boy germs. Maybe, or maybe I was just scared to be open.

I think I still am, though not as much. I've learnt to trust people, I think. Or maybe not. Maybe I just want to appear more interesting than I really am. Maybe I'm just trying to prove something.

I'm trying to break out of this mould. There's always been me: rational, logical, studious me. Then there's you: crazy, stupid, amusing.

We've always been different. What's changed now? Why can't I continue to pretend that you don't exist, when really every time I see you with her, my heart breaks, tears in two.

Make that three, four...

No. Millions of tiny pieces, scattered in the lonely depths of the place that once was my heart.

Change is unavoidable. Sometimes it's for the good. But most of the time it doesn't do anything but make you miss what once was.

And the result of change isn't good either.

Unless you call the shards of heart on the floor a good result.

But is it so wrong to just love? Is it so wrong to want to be loved?

Is it even love? What is love?

I don't know where all these questions are coming from, or why I'm writing them to you. Or maybe I'm not even writing to you.

Why did things have to change? Why can't I still be that 9 year old girl, blissfully ignorant of a world outside her home? Why can't I still live in that perfect world, where everything happened the way that I expected it to?

Why can't I go back to a time when things were simpler and I didn't have to love you?

This dull ache is for you. Every time I feel this way, it's because of you. It's because you taught me the meaning of friendship.

You taught me what it was to love.

Next time try not to break my heart in the process.


A one-shot of... feelings? I don't know. It seemed to make a nice story. Somewhat. I don't know. Just feel like publishing something. Up to you whether or not you read it. I guess if you're reading this, then you've probably read it already... Herm...

Anywayz. This is just a break form writing NGIR, and my other story that I've been working on.

Hope you like...

onbendedknee