Confessions of an Aspiring Author
By S. A. Hereatta

Entry One: Introduction

And they lived happily ever after. That's the sentence that goes at the end of the story, normally the final sentence, or it would be in an old fairy tale. My problem is I can't seem to find a beginning to my stories. "Once upon a time..." has become either fairy tale or "Once upon a time...yeah right. I'm a teenage drama queen named Hilary Duff...Lindsay Lohan...Mischa Barton..." I want to write a gripping novel that starts out with a sentence that grabs the reader and then immediately pulls them in and makes them want to keep reading, keep holding on to every single chapter, paragraph, sentence, word that is printed on the pages. So far that hasn't happened.

True, I'm only fourteen years old, I have a lot of life ahead of me. But I'm "at that age" when I want to do everything. I want everything happening now. I want all these oppurtunites to hit me so hard I'll fall back on the cement and scrape my hands trying to catch myself. I'm also at that age when it's hard to just wipe my dusty hands on my jeans and pick myself back up. I'm at that age when I need my mom, my dad, my friend, even my enemy to lend me a hand, just so I can push it away to prove I can get up without their help.

But I can't get the beginning. I have the ending, sometimes even parts of the middle, all planned out in my head. But how do you start a book without a first chapter? You don't open a book and find Chapter Two printed boldly on the first page of the story. It's always Chapter One. But my book doesn't have a Chapter One. Sometimes it doesn't have a Chapter Two, or Three, or Four, sometimes it just has Epilogue.

Another problem I have is writing things down. I don't mean I have a problem with forgetting to write things down, I mean I have a problem with writing things down. I'll get an idea and I'll write down a list of characters, a little bit about them, then I have the story in my head. But by the time I'm in the mood to start writing, the story's boring and I have no passion to write it. If I don't want to write something, then it's not going to be as good as something that I can't wait to write.

That's how most of my stories start out. I write the first few chapters and I'm so excited that I've started a new story, the story's playing out in my head and I just can't wait to get someone to read it and share my enthusiasm...and suddenly it's not as fun anymore and it's just a story that I have to finish because someone wants to read the rest and enjoy the characters.

I do want to write a book. I want to be as well-known was J. K. Rowling, as well-written as J. R. R. Tolkein, with a writing style original and beautiful like Francesca Lia Block and a talent for grabbing the reader from the start like Amelia Atwater-Rhodes. I want to see a book by me being reviewed by someone from a well-known magazie. I want my books sold in stores and borrowed in libraries.

But people say that best stories come from life-experience. How do I write from life-experience if nothing interesting happens to me. I don't want to make something horrible that will scar me forever happen, but something interesting, like what happened in Francesca Lia Block's Violet And Claire, when Violet, the aspiring movie-director meets Claire, a soft poet, and tries to convince her to be in her movie and suddenly all this stuff happens to her and she starts making wonderful movies. I want that to happen to me with my stories!

But then you hear that, "But that stuff only happens in movies..." True, that does happen in movies, or books, but it also happens in real life! I just want to be one of those Real Life Stories things that is shown on talk shows and magazines.

I plan to make things happen for me in ways of getting my books more well-known. I plan to try to publish one, at least one, of my stories, even a short story, in a magazine or something. If people can sell manga and anime books with as badly drawn anime characters as I've seen, then I should be able to be published in something by the time I'm thirty-something. Hopefully.

Look at Amelia Atwater-Rhodes. Her first book, In The Forests of the Night, was written when she was thirteen. I can't remember if it was published when she was thirteen but it was published at a relatively young age. I think if she can do it, so can I. I guess that's the goal I'll have to push for, because wishing to be as famous as J. K. Rowling isn't going to get me anywhere.

Much Love,
S. A. Hereatta
True Child of the Xenu