A/N: A new story that will probably be updated once in a while until All Along is finished.

By: KNE

Ever since high school started, my friends along with the rest of the world would tell me that Jay and I were 'meant to be'. Soul mates. I can't even remember the number of people who had made comments about how Jay and I were probably going to get married in ten years or so. But at the time, it was all a joke to me. I never took it seriously and just shrugged it off as a stupid high school gossip topic. The chances of Jay and I ever being on romantic terms was zero percent. I'm not saying that Jay was a total turnoff. He was amazing in his own way. There were plenty of times when I wished I could play the guitar as good as he did or even had half of his sense of humor. He was too damn funny and probably the only guy I could act completely like myself around. But just because of that, it didn't mean Jay and I were soul mates. It didn't mean that we would get married in ten years or so. It didn't mean that I would fall in love with him senior year. It didn't mean any of that.

It simply meant that we were best friends. The BEST of friends.

Yup. He was the only guy that my parents wouldn't mind having him sleep over. He was the only guy that could care less if I wore no makeup or flashy clothes. He was the boy who knew all my deepest secrets and feelings. That's who he was. The boy that I would run to if my boyfriend broke up with me or got into a fight with my mom. It was actually simple. He lived next door and his bedroom window faced mine. And just to make the friendship perfect, a big nice oak tree stood in between our yards giving us easy access to climb across to each other's rooms. Our friendship was irreplaceable. The best of the best.

Of course people wondered how a girl like me could get along with a guy like him so well. Jay was quiet around other girls. You probably could call it shy. He'd never had a serious girlfriend either and it was almost impossible to catch him flirting with a person of the opposite sex. I'm not saying he was hideous and completely clueless when it came to women. He was actually pretty cute if you looked really close. He was a bit skinny but surprisingly he weighed more than me. He had sandy brown hair that was actually quiet fluffy ever since he grew it out. Jay was the sort of tall and lanky boy that you would see hanging out at the guitar center all day having a freaking field day just playing as many guitars as he could. He wasn't like the jock boys who had girls dangling on their arms every second. He didn't party hard or got drunk occasionally. He was just….Jay. The boy who drank once in a while at gatherings but never got drunk. The one who always watched out for me and dragged me home whenever he had a bad feeling. I, on the other hand, was completely opposite from him. I had many friends ranging from both sexes. While Jay was a bit more conservative, I tended to be more….wild? I'm not saying I was a party animal, but I knew how to have fun. I've had boyfriends before….even on serious relationship terms.

I guess we were really different, yet very similar. Jay and I were the kind of people that just clicked. We knew each other well enough to understand each other with just one look. He knew my daily routines and I knew his. Every morning, Jay would be the one to walk into my bedroom and pull the covers off me. I would groan and moan while he gave me his boring lecture about being too lazy. Eventually I would drag myself to the bathroom to get ready while Jay would make his way downstairs to help my mom set up breakfast. By the time I would make it downstairs dressed properly for school, Jay would already be on his second toast and feeding Ethan (my baby brother) his baby cereal. When he would finally notice that I had arrived, Jay would scramble up to grab my toast from the toaster and drop it into a clean plate that my mom had already set.

"Eat up Elle." He would say. My answer was always a grunt since I hated waking up early. Jay would always finish his breakfast first and clear the table while my mom began her daily routine of sucking up to him. Then she would turn to me and tell me that if I didn't marry someone like Jay, I wouldn't be able to survive in the real world. Of course she knew that the idea of the two of us being together disgusted me greatly, so she would say it just to annoy me. I would glare at Jay and my mother….and Jay? Jay would smirk to himself and continue doing the dishes quietly. He hated it when people gave him compliments. He always ended up blushing or something like that.

That's how it was every morning. Of course Jay would drive us to school in his old Toyota Camry, forcing me to listen to some new band that I loathed. But somehow, after listening to it more than once, I would find enjoying it. Once we reached the school parking lot, I would hand him the lunch my mother made for him and Jay would hurriedly pull out the Capri sun to drink while we walked into school side by side. It all seemed like nothing at the time. But for some reason, if it really was 'nothing', why would I remember every exact detail of Jay and me together?

Jay Atkins was my best friend. And it was senior year that changed everything between us. Maybe it wasn't particularly senior year, but it was everything that happened within. It could have been the stupid choices I had made or the stupid arguments I had started. It could have been the way I treated him or the way I had always treated him. Or maybe it was that girl that ruined everything between us. But more or less, it was me who had ruined everything. It was me who looked at him straight in the eye and told him that I couldn't be friends with him. And stupid of me, I knew Jay well enough to take those words to heart. So if anyone was to blame, it would be me.

Never Jay. Jay was too innocent. And because I couldn't handle loving him, I let him go. Which is why I'm sitting here all alone remembering every detail and every moment I had spent with the only boy I could ever love. And because I was too selfish and ignorant….I had lost him.

I had lost my best friend AND the boy I loved.

I lost my Jay.

I'll try my hardest to update All Along. The chapter is half done, I just need more time. As for ISWAD, there will have to be another long wait. I've been too busy! Thanks again. Please let me know what you guys think.

KNE