I remember Travis in 97'

-For Travis, I'll never forget-

Elementary blues;

just think, we haven't spoken in years

or so it would seem.

I am

so different now

holding up the picture of us from 97'

I am so old

standing next to my shadow

silvery

my mood

was set.

Cancer is a killer;

Is it going to kill you?

I wonder

but can't ponder,

I'd shave my head

if I wasn't so desperate

for attention

right now.

I'd go back

to those elementary blues

if I could,

after all

blue is always better then red

cancer-killing-prescriptions-can't-come-inside-the-blue

I think it has to be true

Travis

the blue

just might save you.

I see a shaved head where they're once were curls;

a waste

where there was once a football player

have all our jokes come to this?

High

school

leftovers;

Am I staring too much?

I'm sorry

but all of this

really scares me

(I can't help it if that's politically incorrect

but hospitals freak me out

and cancer is even worse.)

I did tell you once

about the numbers;

my numbers

my statistics

for all of the people who wasted away in front of me.

Poor blue

elementary;

I'll sing it like a jazz singer

I'll sing it so it sounds pretty

to your fuzzy ears.

Memories?

Remember how I told "Lishin" off in sixth grade,

remember how everyone always yelled at you,

why?

I think.

I guess they didn't know that you would be dying of cancer in just a few short years.

Should I bring flowers?

Do you bring flowers to a dying boy?

I think

that I can't find myself

inside the blue

zone

in

and

out

I breathe;

I breathe with no trouble

as I watch you float

between TV screens

and

the camera;

the last photographs

the last days.

I don't know if your going to die today.

I think

this blue is a crime

this after effect

after-tasting

I never made love to you

but I think once I wanted to,

I never paid much attention to you

but I guess I never really knew.

These years are bullshit;

make believe

real life;

I'll pray for you,

but I think it was God who got you into this mess to begin with,

maybe

I'll just hope for blue.