Everyday we feel them. To some people, they are disguised as nooses, chains, an abyss, and other things. Their hands grip our souls whenever they can, wanting us to do their bidding, to feed their hunger. They live to consume us, and will stop at nothing to reach that goal. The more we try to deny their existence, the harder they pull at us. Let's face it…
There isn't a human on this planet that doesn't have demons in them. One of modern-day humanity's greatest achievements, if not the sole greatest achievement, is that a majority of us have learned to trap those demons and keep them locked-up inside of us. For if we ever release them, then hell-on-earth would no longer be fictitious.
There are moments in life when one just wants to kill someone, where the image of blood spills into our thoughts, and the body's muscles tighten, and adrenaline flows, filling the mind with a terrible resolve and heating the nervous system so that it lights our soul's inner blaze. The feeling may last only a few seconds, maybe a few minutes, sometimes days at a time. In that time period, the layers of our mind feel nothing but fire, and decisions and choices we would have never imagined flood into us. An anger/depression as deep as hell itself infests every crack of our essence, and the demons re-surface with a glint in their eyes. Calmness seems far away by this time, and the real world is distant, as we stand on the edge of the abyss….
There are nights that are just mystifying. You're walking down a sidewalk, peacefully observing the world around you, feeling only the faintest touch of the evening's shadows. With no reason at all, you look up. The feeling of looking up at a dark, neon-colored sky after dusk enacts one of the darkest and passionate yearnings. The thing that kills you: you don't know what and why you feel the way you do. For some reason, you have no hunger or thirst, no desires, all you have is the empty hole at your center, as if your soul's been ripped out and is floating up towards that neon sky, and you don't care. For a moment, you feel as though you are out of your body. You don't feel yourself moving; all you perceive is the numbness that has suddenly overtaken you. All you do is explore all the tints of that neon, and for a while, your demons watch it too. And you don't care……
The light of the oven's clock barely shines on your face, as you stand in your kitchen, feeling as though all the things in the room have eyes and are staring at you. Outside the window to your left, the tree branches sway like ghosts next to your neighbor's house, and the leaves swirl up and down the drive-way. You hardly notice all that commotion, only perceiving the gripping silence within you. Your heightened senses detect more than just the real world. In the dark, they see a light, feel blood wash on your skin, taste the fresh foul air, hear the screams of suffering souls, smell the scent of the pointed steel. The demons inside you tear free of their bondage, and cry mercilessly and painfully. You can feel them pounding away at your heart, ripping scars into your soul, as you stare, faintly, at the butcher knife beside the small television. The temptation to kill is so strong that you can feel your blood pulsate in your limbs. You don't care about anything else but those demons; the urge to silence them is so much that you are willing to make others suffer at your expense….
They churn our souls, flood our hearts with their fire. Demons are everywhere, in everyone.
I cannot tell you how to fight them. All I can tell you is that you are never alone with them. Pay attention to the real world around you, and they will never be in control.