this echo resulting from my scream (blistering my lungs) is sacrilegious, i think. is it (so-very) wrong to vent in a sanctuary? i suppose that i could cry out 'sanctuary' to be SAFE, but it doesn't (really) work when you're battling internally. doesit? i swear --ahem-- promise that the compelling nature was a calling. yes! a calling from God. from the CARDdealer. i suppose lying about an epiphany (of sorts) is blasphemous. oh.damn(ation), i can't do anything properly. ask for forgiveness, then? yes, i'll lament. (singlikethesirens) that just alleviates ALLtheSIN, doesn't it? mind tricks, tobehonest. yes, they blame the wrong(doings) on the devil-lucifer-satan-malignantspirit-witch. but blame doesn't go far without (God, it's on the tipofmytongue . --oh yes--) proper validity. i'm a tycheSPLIT imitation, a carbon copy (but stuck with ALLtheFAULTS -- someone had to inherit, right?). sometimes i feel just like a serpent(ine serenading), an incarnate of DISDAIN. i'm con s i s tant l y lost within the aquamarine (colortastescent-ed) waters & i-feel-like some sort of grim reaper sent to exorcise mySELF. God -- forget the safety switch and blanks -- i want that gun cocked&loaded, resting beside a bottle of vermouth laced with oxycontin.