I want to cry inside your sheltered promises
you know, the ones that never came true
Did I tell you that I loved you? (love is such a heavy thing)
You, you altered my baby girl perceptions
empty tiger lily wishes and the kinds of smiles
that make me swoon
It was all your fault.
(and yes, I blame you)
teaspoons of heartbreak and a smothering
happiness, always peppered with doubt
me doubting you doubting me
you have no thorny obligation to me
no golden starry happy thoughts about me
and you always pretended that you couldn't hear me crying
on the telephone
did that make you feel better?
Black, black trees grabbing handfuls of
pewter sky and choking the clouds half to death
I told the sun I wanted a boy to hold my hand
but it never happened
I shouldn't have given up on God.
I tried to run away with you in my junior high dreams
but it never worked out the way it does in
Where were my wings?
Where was your compassion?
Where was the magic?
(All the pieces we were without)
left a broken puzzle shaped hole in the middle
of it all