A/N: Mwhaha! I am bound and determined to write an Iha story, and so... here it goes! And no...Iha's not insane. Which is shocking. I know. And no... CJ and Iha are not incest. So ... no bad thoughts about the two. Also, just to note. CJ is a vampire uhm...that doesn't really do vampire things and is a pansy when he's young and refuses to come to terms with the fact that he isn't human. And Ihaka is a ...a.... Well... ... he's a mix breed of a couple things, but he's pretty much considered a human (even though his blood says otherwise.)

Coming to Terms

By: Alysha-Lyn

The sixteen-year-old was sitting there again, concentrating on his breathing as the candlelight flashed across his yellow eyes making them appear like they were on fire. The bloody looking markings on his face shined and such made his eyes both on fire and bleeding. He didn't blink away the burning. The heat against his pasty pale face was calming, even making him smile as the fire came in contact with his marks and sizzled against his flesh.

"Relax," he thought. "Relax." And so relaxed he was. The pain was nothing to him but a smile anymore, and he closed his eyes. Only his lips were aloud to smile. Not his eyes. Not his soul. No, Ihaka couldn't smile anymore. Even if he could, he wouldn't. No. Ihaka wouldn't smile. Couldn't smile. That would be bad.

His blue tinged bangs fell forward, threatening to fall into the flames. The scent and sizzle of the locks made him pull backwards. He mindless put out the flame between his forefinger and thumb as he began to drift out of his state and return to the world of the living. His eyes began to focus and he rubbed them in the darkness that cause his animal eyes to glow in the black of his room.

A rumbling was set off next to him, causing him to look through the darkness in hopes of finding the rumbles source. "Hello." He weakly said to the creaking of the floorboards that immediately silenced at his call. The room was silent as Iha made out the figure of a man staring down at him. The presence was familiar and so Ihaka no longer bothered to look any longer. "You're still bad at sneaking." He muttered as he laid back on his bed, spilling some of the cooling wax from the candle in his hands backwards and onto his chest without a care.

"Shut up," came the grumble from across the room as the floorboards began to squeak again. Ihaka smiled to himself. His little brother, Christian Jacob or CJ as he preferred, was never good at thinking of a worthwhile comment at night. Iha heard shuffling as CJ pulled himself into Iha's bed. The springs squeaked at the added weight and Iha tensed at the unexpected arms around him. Iha shifted to set the candle on the nightstand, easily finding his brother's brown hair and patting it.

"Is there a reason you didn't go into your own bed or are you just incapable of finding it in the dark?" CJ grumbled and shifted, but Iha paused as he suddenly noticed his brother was crying. Tears mingled with the wax on Iha's chest as he lifted a hand and flicked on the lights. CJ didn't let his face be seen, hiding it suddenly against the crimson sheets of Iha's bed, but Ihaka could still hear his brother's sobs. Iha's face softened as he brought his gloved hand through CJ's hair and began to tuck it behind his ear over and over.

Understanding silence floated between the two of them. Ihaka continued the motion and CJ calmed down. It was a trick their mother and her father before her used to put each other asleep. CJ's pink eyelids grew heavy as he lifted his head to stare at Ihaka, a hand coming up to rub his eyes in an embarrassed fashion as Ihaka gave a weak curl of his lips to CJ into a forced smile. His smiles were constantly forced, so CJ saw no difference but clearly found comfort in the grin as he managed a smile back. "You don't have to sleep in your own bed tonight, so long as you realize I have to work in the morning."

CJ gave a small nod and put his head down on his arms. "Sorry." He muttered, his body still shaking from his tears as he stared up at the wall that was behind Iha. The brothers sat in silence once more as CJ's ice blue eyes met Iha's yellow ones. They stared for a moment, both reading the sadness in each other's eyes before suddenly looking away. Iha's eyes alone asked Christian why, and CJ waited for Iha to look away as well before answering. "For bothering you... I know you have to work and I know it's late."

"Yes," Iha nodded his head and agreed, pulling some of his own blue and black hair behind his ears as he looked at his brother. "It is late, but I was up anyways. I was thinking of going to bed when you came in, though. It's not a problem. What's wrong?" Nothing could be too wrong with him. Not like Ihaka. Everything was wrong with Ihaka. He was being forced to work and leave school. He was being sold to any other living creature that would take him for a bit of money, but he was still expected to the advice giver. He was the one that had to make everyone else's life better, and yet he was still sitting there being gentle to his little brother that had everything he could possibly want in his life.

The younger brother stared off at his own bed that was laying across the room. His blue eyes scanning every wrinkle and curve as he began to speak. "It's just... I'm normal, aren't I Iha? Aren't I normal?" No, thought Iha. Of course your not. You can't possibly be normal. Stop lying. But Ihaka was a hypocrite. He nodded his head so that his head said to CJ that he was normal, even if his conscience said otherwise.

"Well," continued Christian with a cat-like yawn as he got comfortable laying next to Iha. "I don't believe you." I don't believe me either, Ihaka thought to himself as he closed his eyes.

"And why wouldn't you believe me, Christian? You're normal compared to the rest of your circus freak of a family. I've got freaky eyes and I know exactly when I'll die. What have you got like that? Some pointy teeth? Oh dear. Like you can't pretend your just a normal teenager with those." Pretend. Ihaka said pretend. CJ instantly began to cry again, clearly having caught the word. Ihaka let his eyes drop and stare at the wall as he curled his fingers around in CJ's hair. "I'm sorry, CJ."

"No, you're not." Correct CJ who sat up, his eyes behaving like their mother's and icing over. They sliced into Iha and made me choke slightly as he started as his brother, his chest constricting in faint fear. He wasn't afraid of his brother. He was just afraid of those eyes. Christian seemed to growl slightly as he glared. His bottom lip curled downward as he began to scold Ihaka with a lowered tone so their mother wasn't awakened. "You're never sorry for anyone but yourself, you know that?"

Ihaka calmed himself and gave a smile. "If you think that, then stop coming to me for sympathy. Oh, and if you want to be normal...don't cry yourself to sleep at night." CJ suddenly tackled Ihaka and the two were locked in a typical brotherly fight. Ihaka easily overpowered his spoiled brother, holding him down on the floor and sitting on CJ's stomach. "You need to be less emotional in general."

"Why," said CJ as tears began to fall down his cheeks once more. "So I can be an empty jerk like you! You don't feel anything anymore do you? You can't possibly feel anything! If you did you'd realize that your life turned out this way because you made it this way." No. He didn't. Their mother made his life hell. Ihaka took his turn to growl, his hands clenching as if they were trying to make fists as hey tightened around his brother's arms that had been pinned about his head. CJ squeaked in pain, biting his lip until it was bleeding to prevent himself from calling out to their mother. She wasn't going to settle this fight. CJ had to learn to stand up for himself. He had to...

But the pain seared through his arms as he finally called out to their mother. Ihaka's fire eyes went wide as he peered into the ice of his brothers. His brother's eyes melted under the gaze and he began to cry even harder as Ihaka let go and stood up falling back into bed. CJ stood up and sat on Ihaka's bed as his brother rolled over to face the wall so he didn't have to look at Christian.

Christian bit his bleeding lip again as he brought a hand onto Iha's side, feeling Ihaka grow tense once more. "I--I didn't mean to yell... Honest... If she woke up, I won't tell her anything happened. Don't worry. I promise. You won't get hit this time." Ihaka brought his hand up and put it on his brother's as he rolled over to look up at him. Iha's eyes seemed colder than usual. He seemed empty and for the first time didn't look like he was trying to pretend that he was happy.

"You can sleep in my bed still. I'm sorry your not normal. I'm sorry I'm not happy. You'll learn to deal with who and what you are. I have." His voice was empty like his eyes, and CJ shivered getting a distinct feeling of death ringing from his brother. Their hands laced together as CJ pulled himself to be laying down. He put his head on Iha's shoulder, and Iha rubbed his back slightly until Christian fell asleep.

A click came from the door and their mother walked in. Her black hair tinged purple and pulled up in a bun and her icy blue eyes lined with sleep. "What in hell were you two doing here? I swear… I can't get one night of sleep without waking up to one of you screaming!" Ihaka put his head on his brother's, his hand going up and turning out the light. His mother gave a squeak at the sudden darkness, and Ihaka's eyes felt heavy under her shrieking about them ignoring her and waking her up for what was clearly nothing.

Ihaka chuckled sleepily as a true smile crossed his lips for just a moment. "The only thing that was going on in here… was a child coming to terms with themselves. Nothing more. Go back to sleep, Mother." She shrieked about the disrespect (of which is bluntly deserved) that she'd always get from her offspring. She spun around and slammed the door, heading back upstairs as Ihaka bent over and whispered into the sleeping Christian's ear.

"If only Mother would come to terms that she's actually our mother, hm? Then at least one of us wouldn't have to be so unhappy. You'd probably be happier to of been born to a normal person though, so I guess her not coming to terms with us is the only chance of normality you have. The only chance of humanity you have. Bask in it, little brother. Bask." His eyes finally closed as he drifted into a faintly peaceful sleep. At least one of them had a chance for happiness, and even if it wasn't him, that was all Ihaka would ever ask for.

End

Yes. I know. Confusing, right? Eh. I don't care. Maybe you guys will hate this, maybe you won't. I don't care.