Sorta sad to say this is the end of Jailbait, guys. It was a good story for me to work with, and I'm glad I got through it...do you think this many chapters was enough? I'm glad I decided to finish it...I didn't want it to drag on for too long, because Kami's problems weren't going to be there forever. I hope you enjoy the ending...I tried to make it worth it, tell me what you think. And as usual, if there are any errors, please tell me!!


Chapter 6


"You didn't have to." Luke muttered, and for once I didn't look at him. He'd been hiding so much from me that it scared me to just think of what I still didn't know. "I've put up with it before, I can take it again and again…" he assured me, but I didn't want to believe it. Even if he could take all those beatings, he didn't deserve to, and I wish it had never happened to him. He lied and told me he was going out with the coffee girl; that her boyfriend beat him up. But he was with an abusive partner? The police were gone now, Corey was gone now, and that was left was Luke, me, the dark, and the quiet…let's not forget the millions of questions floating in the abyss of my mind.

"Do you love him?" I asked, turning to face him and looking him sternly in the eye. I'd caught him off guard, and he gave me a curious, hurt look, which I ignored, and still waited for him to answer. He looked down at the floor, the thin moonlight that shone through the window on his face. His eyes were hidden by his hair, and he rested his hand on his chin.

"No, I don't." he whispered, shaking his head lightly and gazing towards me again. I leaned back on the couch and sighed, kicking magazines off the table and placing my feet on top of it, staring out the window at the midnight blue sky, and the full moon that glowed radiantly just outside. Squinting, I looked lower, to the street, and stood up, walking towards it with my forehead against the glass. A boy walked down in the dark ally, kicking a can in front of him along his way.

"Jules?" I wondered, and Luke quickly stood, walking up beside me. Touching my fingers to the glass, I struggled to see if it really was him, and Luke pushed me sideways.

"What?" he asked, and I was suddenly curious of his expression and behavior…I wondered how he would react. "Oh." He quietly said, and folded his arms, staring me in the eyes. Had I hurt him?

"Luke…" I softly muttered, chewing on my lip. He did look hurt. What had happened to him? He was all over the place, and it seemed like he was an entirely different person every other minute that passed. "He's just a kid." I muttered, flopping back down on the couch and watching Luke slowly come stand in front of me.

"Do you love him?" he asked, and I laughed at the question. He was mimicking me, but I was certain he didn't feel the way I felt about him…so what did it matter? I shook my head and pulled a cigarette from a pack that sat on the table, lighting it and quickly sucking on it. My head was throbbing. "Why?" he asked, and I looked up from my cigarette, eyeing him suspiciously.

"Excuse me?" I asked, and he repeated himself.

"Why don't you love him?"

"…" It took me a while to think about it. Why didn't I love him? He was sweet, cute, gentle…but he wasn't what I wanted, was he? Why didn't I want him? I didn't want him…because I could have him as easy as I could get anyone else…he wasn't anything genuine, and it was only a fantasy. He was nothing more than my feed, and I certainly didn't need him…maybe I did care about him, but not enough. I had to let him go. "I…just don't." I muttered, and he nodded.

"Go." He ordered, and weakly pointed to the way of the door before he sat down in the chair again. Again, I gave him a weird look, and got up to leave, putting out the cigarette. I needed to think, I couldn't be smoking right now, and pushing it away…I had to focus.

"I'll see you around…?" I asked, turning to face him, but only to see tears had stained his face, and streamed down across his cheeks. "Hey…" I softly said in a concerned tone, kneeling down in front of him and knocking his thin knees together. "Are you okay?" I asked, and he nodded, smiling. It was fake, though.

"I'm fine." He smiled and wiped his face off, gently pushing my hands off, but it only brought me closer, and I rested my hands on the arms of his chair, leaning forward and asking him again, expecting an honest answer. Kiss him. Kiss him. Kiss him, please. I lean forward and wait. "I can't…" he choked and I knew this was it; this was the end, and there was nothing left of him for me. I had to move on.

"I love you." I told him, choking back my own tears and smiling, kissing his forehead, strongly gripping his hand, never wanting to let go, never ever leaving him. I didn't want to go…I wanted to stay with him forever, and have him love me the way I wanted him to. But life isn't a dream, where everyone loves you just because you love them. He'll never love me.

I backed away and ran out of the house, locking myself into the car, driving off, driving past Jules, arriving at my house, getting out of the car, getting into the house, collapse on bathroom floor, cry. It's all a blur. Why, why are you crying? You're not leaving, don't leave, stop it. Tell him you love him one more time. Don't give up.

Sleep. Dreams. The curtain closes.

Jules whispers to me in my sleep, I somehow know, and when I wake up, he's there by my side on the floor. He's sleeping, and his breath is slow in his chest. He's curled up next to me with dried tears on his face, gripping my side with his nails. "Get up." I muttered, and his eyes blinked a few times before he opened them, glaring at me. What was it for?

"You drove away." He said, and he sounded hurt, mad, and confused. I could imagine he was wondering why I didn't do as much as stop and wave, but drove straight past him as fast as I could. I shook my head and stood up. He tugged at the back of my shirt and stood behind me, resting his head on the middle of my back. "Do you love me, Kami? Do you hate me?" No. No. Neither.

"No…" I muttered, staring back at myself through the mirror. I looked tired as hell, and I tapped my finger against the sink.

"But you love me, right?" He didn't understand it.

"No. I meant no to both." He didn't understand it. He paused, and wrapped his arms around my waist, hugging me and nuzzling my back with the side of his face. He didn't understand it.

"Stop joking around. Someone might just believe you one day, and you'll end up hurting them, and you'll regret it." He softly laughed and sighed, kissing the back of my shirt. Maybe I will hurt someone one day…I was hurting Jules.

"I'm not joking." I said sternly, and fidgeted with my hair through the mirror. He suddenly stood straight and I could see him through the mirror, a look of cold shock pasted on his face.

"Oh?" his voice shakes, but he's still stable in a way, even if his fear and surprise and his shock comes through very obviously. Gritting his teeth, he grabbed me by the hair and slammed my face against the mirror, holding it there. I didn't bother moving yet, because I knew he'd have to bitch about something after this. "All I am is your boy-toy? Someone young and innocent to rape whenever you feel like being naughty? Well fuck you." He was about to leave, but I couldn't let him go yet, so I grabbed him by the arm and pushed him back against the wall, my hands planted on either side of his head.

"I may have used you, but I know as a fact that you still love me. And if you do love me, you'll keep your little trap shut." I spat, leaning closer into him and pressing my lower half onto his hips, grunting. "Do you like this shit? It's not my fault you probably jack off every night because you're in love with some twenty-four year old. Though it was my intention to-" I groaned and pushed myself against him harder, pulling with my hands clenched in his hair, gritting my teeth. "It was my intention to get a good fuck from some skinny, weak, helpless little boy like you…" I breathed, clenching my teeth and pressing my forehead against his as he wept in front of me, tears dripping onto his shirt.

"I thought I knew you, Kami! What hap-"

"Shut up!!" I pounded my fist on the wall and glared him down in the face…he choked for a few moments on his tears and finally began to sob again, wrecked breathing. "Shut up! Stop fucking…stop crying!" I smacked him and began to feel dizzy, falling at his feet and digging my face into his leg, wrapping my arms around him.

"Did I ever mean anything to you, Kami…?" he cried, tears falling onto my hair. Myself, I began to sniff a little, and I nodded my head, sobbing into his jeans. "I still love you…and I won't tell anyone…I'll stay with you, if that's what you want, Kami." He told me, and slid down on the floor next to me. I stopped crying and sniffed, wiping my nose and leaning over him.

"Shut up." I forced my lips on his and our tears meshed together with damp, sticky skin, and I clutched his hair as he grabbed at mine. His weak little legs trembled underneath me, and he shook with silent weeps that poured into my throat. I whispered into his mouth and softened my lips on his. "Go…go where you want. And tell anyone you want; I don't care. If I do get jailed, wouldn't I deserve it? Go be a kid again, Jules, while you still can. You don't need me." I shook my head and stood up from him, digging my arms over my eyes and wiping my whole face off but my glossy lips.

He held himself on the floor for a while, looked up at me with those sad eyes that burned and seared my heart; the lonely eyes of a child that would never again have the same innocence. The guilt he would have to bear throughout the rest of high school and the lies and secrets he would have to keep from everyone he knew…he must've been ashamed. Maybe he would be like normal kids, and keep it to himself that way. Or, maybe, he was doing it to protect someone he loved…and to protect himself from the sole truth that he did love me, and he wouldn't admit to the law that called us being together 'rape'. I stood tall as he walked past me, and I waited to listen for the muffled sound of the door closing. "Goodbye…"

Somehow, I sauntered dizzily into my bedroom after locking the doors, stripped down to nothing, and crawled under the sheets that still wore his fresh, clean scent. I hugged them tight to my face and sniffed them in, careful not to dirty them with the smell of smoke-infused hands. The memories of being with him floated around as images in my head and I squinted open my eyes to pretend he was lying next to me in the dark. I'd slept an entire other day with him by my side on the floor the whole time, and I somehow couldn't get enough sleep, because I drifted off into dreaming of everything that made me wish he never had to leave.

The next day. I waltzed into the grocery store with a t-shirt, pajama pants, and a baseball cap over my head. I got a haircut, and I wasn't used to it yet…I had to work the bangs in, even though they looked great in my opinion. I scratched at my arm and gaped at how skinny it was. The last time I'd eaten was probably a couple of days ago, I guess. Heaving a jug of milk out of a casket, my flip-flops paddled against the floor. Pausing when I lifted my head, I dropped the carton of eggs I was carrying and cringed as a loud cracking sound was heard on the floor. Slowly, I placed the jug on the floor and ignored it, cleaning up the mess on the floor.

Hopefully, he wouldn't notice that I was even here, considering I was dressed out of the norm, acting out of the norm, and I'd gotten a haircut…for once. Before, I'd tried to ignore the fact that my hair was too long, because I find haircuts are like dentist appointments. If you don't feel like talking, which I certainly didn't this morning considering I was about to fall asleep, you don't talk much, but I suppose hairdressers are supposed to be social with their clients. Too bad you can't just tell someone you don't want to talk…though they might've understood. And where the hell are you supposed to put your eyes? If you look in the mirror, you're basically watching a horror film through your fingers, and you might just catch the murderer's glance…which isn't any fun, because then you have to smile back…or, if they really were murderers, scream.

Standing with sticky fingers, I sighed, and kept my hat down a bit, avoiding contact with him as he was about to brush past. Unfortunately, he stopped, and quietly laughed at my current situation.

"Kami, what are you doing?" Son of a…I placed the carton on a shelf and folded my arms, barely looking at him. He stopped and nodded, and it seemed like moments of silence went by…it was painful. I wanted him so bad. "Kami…?" I lifted my head and waited. "I want to tell you something…" he paused, and I waited even more, wanting to smack myself. I felt dizzy for some reason, and I didn't like it; I wanted to get as far away from him as I possibly could at the time, as a matter of fact.

"Luke, I don't have a lot of time for this." I mumbled, standing on my toes over at the counter to see if it was clear. He grabbed me by the collar of my shirt and sighed, looking from the ceiling to the floor. Finally, he eyed me, and pulled me closer to him. I cringed and shut my eyes as he breathed on my chest.

"Kami? I'm in love with this boy…" he bit his tongue and stared at me. "I'm in love with you, is what I'm trying to say. I've been in love with you for so long…I just…didn't want to admit it to myself."

This is it. The dream come true. Finally, I heard what I wanted to hear from the second I met Luke. Wavering slightly, I kept my eyes closed, and thought to myself. This was real, and I had to respond to it. We weren't just going to be magically swept up by a cloud and carried away or something stupid and cheesy like that. Chewing my lip, I repeated the words to myself. Luke…the boy I loved more than any living, breathing human, had just admitted to loving me. Every time I'd been with him, and I hadn't known. But really…what did I know about him? He's just…Luke…and he's amazing, right? Why is he so amazing? Soon, it dawned on me that Luke could've pretty well been a figment of my own imagination, just another fantasy fulfilled. Was I dreaming?

Every time I had been with him…it had been painful. Every time I had been with him, it made the scar that much deeper. Every single time, I had known nothing about him, and the gut feeling told me it was wrong…because he didn't love me. Now that he loves me, can it take all of that back? Could anything ever take away the damage he did to me? His head games…all he put me through…and every moment I spent chasing after him, was a waste of my time. Though he finally brought out the truth, somehow, that gut feeling told me this was wrong…so I believed it… "Kami…?" he whispered, and the world came rushing back to me. The intercom, calling for a cleanup, the people passing by with shopping carts, and the shelves. And him and me.

"…I'm sorry. I don't even know you." I forced out of my mouth, and held the choking in my throat back as I packed up my jug of milk and the shattered carton of eggs. He stayed still, and I didn't want to see him or his reaction. I never wanted to see him again. Who was that boy I left behind, anyway? Certainly not someone I knew…not someone I cared to know…not someone I would give another chance. The scar stayed the way it had been even after then, and I don't believe it ever went away. For all I cared, I could live alone, and die alone, but every second I spent waiting for something to make it go away. Something had to make me forget him, or make me stop wanting him.

But not a single day did the feeling leave me.

.END.