The Worst Thing That Ever Happened To Me

I remember five months ago when the worst thing in my life ever happened to me. It happened on May 30, 2004, at around nine p.m. That night, I was raped.

I was having a wonderful day that day. The sun was out, I slept until noon (which always makes me happy), and my parents were being tolerable. I went outside for a little while and did my chores and played with my little brother on the trampoline for a while. Then I returned inside the house to ask my parents if I could go to town for a little while. They told me to be back by ten that night. I grabbed my C.D. player and my backpack, with some of my stuff that I always keep with me in it, and left.

I went to a friend's house that day and we played games on the Playstation 2 and I played on the computer for a little while. Around nine I was getting tired so I told my friend that I wanted to go home for the night and the friend asked if I needed to call for a ride and I stupidly replied no.

I walked outside, it was almost dark, and I walked down the road. Next thing I knew a guy ran up behind me and shoved a syringe with a needle into my arm. There was some kind of inhibiting drug in it because I could hardly move. Everything started spinning.

The next thing that happened was I was laying against a tree in a graveyard, my shirt torn open in the front, and my pants ripped up the sides and he was shoving his penis down my throat and I was choking. I tried to push him away but I wasn't strong enough on the count of the drugs he put in me. Everything was blurry so I couldn't even see who he was.

The most horrible thing happened after that, he picked me up and pushed me into a standing position against the tree. He pulled down his pants, applied a condom (I know that because I could feel the texture of the condom) and shoved his penis into my butt. It felt like knives were going through me. I cried and screamed and asked for him to stop, but he wouldn't, he just kept laughing at me.

When he was finished, he gave me another dose of the drugs, and I just lie there, amidst the blood, torn clothes, and the dirt, and fell asleep from the drugs. The next morning, I woke up and walked the rest of the way home and when I walked in the door, my mother saw me, with an angry look in her eyes because I was terribly late, and it was Monday, and I wasn't at school.

Her eyes then softened when she saw my tattered clothes, dirty body, and tear streaked eyes. She asked me what happened, so I told her. She immediately took me to the doctor and had a rape kit done on me. By this time, my rectum had healed up and I didn't have any semen in me, so the doctor declared that I had not. Then I got a drug test and they found liquefied sleeping pills in my blood system. The doctors dismissed my ailments because they thought I was just a drug addict and I got into a fight, but my mom knew better.

For weeks I cried and had nightmares over it. To this day, on occasion, I still wake up in a cold sweat, crying, because I replay this scenario over and over in my dreams. Because of this guy, I won't ever be able to bottom for a boyfriend of mine; I won't ever be able to share a loving moment like that with one. I just hope others will be more careful after reading this, and do the smart thing, instead of the dumb thing, like I did.