S a t u r d a y M o r n i n g C a r t o o n s

By Dr. Pepper 14


Summary: Slash! M/M! We're just two horny teenaged boys. We have no idea what the hell we're doing. But that's ok, it's more fun this way.

Chapter One

Scooby Doo


Ah, springtime…

Birds singing, sun shining, flowers blooming, and walks in the park with my best friend Clayton.

Life doesn't get any better than this.

"Robbie! Please, please come with me!" He whines, looking down at me with his big, fucking gorgeous puppy dog eyes. He knows I can't resist them- but I'll be damned if he thinks he can overpower me with those big, blue, adorable eyes...

"We've been over this before, Clay. The answer remains no." I kick an empty coke can in my path.

As always, he is never daunted and pushes on, trying a new tactic. "You'll get to see me in a suit. All handsome and dressed up. Now how often does that happen?" He brushes some of his dark brown hair out of his eyes. "I'll even let you make fun of me with no threat of injury."

I blink. "That's only gonna work if I get to take off your suit- after I'm done mercilessly ridiculing you, of course."

"Naturally." And then "Ridicule? Stop reading the dictionary, dumbass."

"Wouldn't reading the dictionary make me smart?"

"Shut the fuck up."

"Ahh, here comes the failsafe. Use profanity and then you don't have to think of a better comeback." I sigh. "What is the world coming to? I fear for the future."

"Fuck. You."

"You have to buy me dinner first." I smile at him innocently.

Psht. Me? Innocent? Fuck no.

He sighs now, rubbing a calloused hand over his face. Catching my gaze and holding, he pleads "Will you stop changing the subject?"

I cross my arms over my chest. "The answer is and always will be: No. I don't see the point in you asking over and over again."

Before I can even blink, I'm pinned against the brick wall of a nearby building. Since when has this happened? My breath quickly escapes me- I don't have time to regain it as two lips come crashing down onto mine. The brick is hard and kind of hurts my back, but hey, I'm not complaining.

His tongue is slowly teasing my lips- god that fucking tongue. He's nipping and sucking and licking and- shit. It's that good.

With one hand pressed firmly against my chest, more holding me in place than pushing me away, he continues to move his mouth against mine in a most delicious way. When at last he releases my lips, all I can do is pant like a woman in labor and slide down the wall to sit on my butt.

My words come out in short pants. "Fuckingliar…" He looks confused.


It takes me awhile to collect myself and reestablish blood flow to my brain. But, once I do, the ability to think anything other than 'Clay is a fucking sexy bastard' comes back full force. "...If you keep insisting that I'm the first person you've ever kissed, than you're a fucking liar."

"Is that so?" he counters, silly lop-sided grin in place. "You liked it that much, eh?"

He jumps out of the way when my foot lashes out, hell-bent on tripping him. I have no idea why it did that. It was possessed! I swear!

That fucking bastard.

"It's not that hard, ya know." He informs me. "Kind of like trial and error."

I stare at him dumbly, vaguely aware of the way his kiss is still affecting me.

He obviously feels the need to explain, because that's exactly what he does. "I like kissing you- so I don't need any insinuative to do that." A smug look crosses his face. "And I know you like what I'm doing when you make that sort of moan-ish grunt-like noise-" Pinching my cheek, he adds "-and it's fucking adorable."

I swat his hand away. "I make no such noise!" I exclaim indignantly.

"Wanna bet?" he challenges, moving in for the kill.

I doge out of the way and his head hits the brick wall.

"Jesus eating a bologna sandwich! Fuck!" He's clutching at his face, curled up like a wounded dog.

"Shit, Clay. I'm sorry." He grins as I take his face in my hands, placing soft kisses on the bridge of his nose, his forehead- pretty much anywhere in reach.

He looks at me again with the puppy dog eyes. "…Robbie?"

"Mmhmm?" I mumble, still kissing his face.

"Soo… will you go with me now?"

I push his face away from my lips roughly. "I said no!"

"That wall just affronted my face-" What the fuck? Affronted? "-Jesus, have pity man!" I remain silent which he takes as an invitation to continue. It's not. "Would you do it for a Scooby snack?"

"What do you mean by that?" I ask. It better mean what I think it means.

"I'll buy you some ice cream! Come on. You know you want to." Damnit. Ice cream is not what I meant.

He notices my pout and flicks my puffed-out bottom lip with his finger. "Whatsa matter?"

"I was hoping you meant something else."

He tilts his head to the side. "What? Like sex?"

"God, no!" Well, maybe…

Closing the ever lessening space between us, he places a soft kiss just below my ear. "Well, I suppose- if you decide to come that is- we could skip out a little early."

I raise an eyebrow in question.

He explains. "After a couple of hours have passed, we could find ourselves an empty room and…" He pauses. "I don't know." But, the look on his face suggests that he most certainly does know. "I'm sure we can think of something to do to entertain ourselves." He winks at me. "I know you'll think of something."

Ice cream? Long make-out session in some stranger's house? Fuck yes.

"Deal." I say. "I'll go to your parents' stupid party with you."


He grabs my arm drags me all the way to the ice cream parlor. I trip a couple of times 'cause I'm clumsy and there is a certain someone walking unnecessarily fast and pulling at my arm, but, other than that, we arrive without incident.

We order our ice cream and sit down at one of the dirty tables outside. The chairs are not very clean. Yucky. I wrinkle my nose and make a small note in the back of my head that there's probably dirt on my ass now, but sit anyway.

Robbie takes one look at my choice of ice cream and snorts. "What kind of man gets pink bubble gum ice cream?"

Rolling my eyes, I take a lick of my 'unmanly' ice cream and try to ignore the fact that he's the one who ordered rainbow ice cream with rainbow sprinkles. "A gay man." Another lick. "And you're just jealous. It's fucking delicious." I pop a small wimpy bubble with the gum that I've acquired thus far from eating the ice cream. And then I think to myself that it's stupid to put gum in ice cream because no one can eat ice cream and chew gum at the same time. What dumb-shit came up with that?

I spit out the gum in the trash.

"Oh. Right." He's watching me now. So intent on my tongue lapping at my ice cream that he doesn't even realize his own ice cream is dripping down his hand. And I'm not going to tell him either.

His voice sounds low and husky as he asks "Can I have some?"

"No way, man! Eat your own damn ice cream!" I do not share food.

"Robbie…" His deep voice- well, as deep a voice as a seventeen year-old boy can have- sends shivers down my back. "I'd really like to try some of your ice cream." He licks his lips, but for some reason, he's looking at me and not the ice cream.

"Oh fine you big baby." I say, handing my ice cream to him. "Demanding little fucker…"

Instead of eating it though, he takes it from my hand and puts it on the table. Grabbing my shirt, he swiftly jerks me to him and sticks his tongue in my mouth. Again, might I add.

His tongue runs over the inside of my cheeks and my teeth before finally tangling itself with my tongue. And this time I kiss back, swirling my tongue with his. Someone moans. I think it's me, but I'm too preoccupied at the moment to tell which one of us made the sound. And frankly, I don't give a shit.

I then realize that if I don't get some air soon I'm probably going to die because my lunges will explode, but I don't really care and just keep kissing him. He, of course, decides that living is more important than kissing me and pulls away, keeping his face only inches from mine.

"Yummy. You taste like gum." he mumbles against my lips.

I lean in slightly and bite his bottom lip- hard.

His lip that was once red and swollen from our kiss, now, along with that, has indents of my teeth in it. "Ow! Why do you always do that!?! That hurts! You evil little bitch!" His hand covers his injured lip, trying to protect it from me I guess.

I only laugh, evil little bitch that I am. "You know you like it. It turns you on big time- and don't you even try to deny it."

I sing, wiggling my eyebrows at him suggestively and becoming louder with each phrase. "You know you want me… you want to hug me… you want to kiss me… you want to love me… you want to fuck me."

I giggle like a little five year-old girl and crack a grin at Clay. He's smiling too.

"You're so fucking weird." he says, shaking his head at me.

One of the first things I become aware of is the silence. Absolute quiet. And then the eyes. About twenty pairs of eyes trained on us two. I do believe we've created quite a scene.

"Momma!" says a little girl with big curious eyes, breaking the silence. She tugs on her mother's dress. "Why were those boys kissin'? I thought boys weren't suppose' ta kiss each other."

"Come on honey. Let's go." They leave quietly and I try not to laugh.

"Disgusting fags." I turn my head to see who says this. It's just a bunch of stupid boys. I glare at them and give Clay a kiss on the cheek.

After awhile, people stop 'staring at the two gay boys' and go back to doing what they were doing. Well, we're at an ice cream place, so everybody goes back to eating their ice cream and pretend to ignore us.

"Goddamn paraphernalia." Clay mutters to himself.

"What?" I ask.


A guy rides past on his bike. The bike is red. So is the guy's hair.

"…We have an English essay due tomorrow. Did you know that?"

I blink. "Umm… no?"

"Me neither. I think aliens made me forget and then reminded me just now to torture me." He shakes a fist at the sky.

"So? Are you gonna do it?" he asks me.

I look at him like he's crazy. Which he is. "Hell no."

He nods. "Well. We can always make a collaborative effort, and then, when the teacher asks why our papers seem so similar, we can say that our unbelievably strong best friend bond allows our minds to connect- like telepathy- and our paper just happen to be alike. Of course, there was nothing we could do about it."

I shrug. "Why not? It's worked before." I remember something. "Shit."


"How are we supposed to do anything with all your brothers and sisters hopping around like bunnies on crack?"

"We can just lock the door." He says, giving me a funny look.

I shake my head. "They'll just pick the lock. They always do."

He grins triumphantly and mutters "I'll tell them that we're making out and then they won't come in."

I frown. "Dude, we tried that. Remember? And then we actually did make-out." I shudder. "Your little sister came in and watched us." I shudder again.

He frowns. His face suddenly lights up like a light bulb, but without the light. That doesn't really make sense. Oh, well. "I know! We can tell them that we're working on school work!"

I nod. That could work. Patting him on the back, I say "You're a fucking genius- I'll give you that. What would I do without out you?"

"Probably run away to the circus and get raped by a midget transvestite clown." He informs me. "And you'd like it."

"Shut up."

"Wanna go back to my house now?" he asks.


"Let's go then." He pulls me up out of my chair.

I notice my melted ice cream on the table- all that's left is the cone. And I realize that I don't really care.




VERY IMPORTANT NOTE!: Think of this chapter as the future. Next chapter, we'll start at the beginning: Robbie finally telling his mom he's gay, perhaps? (Clay doesn't know he's gay yet. Starting next chapter, that is.) Robbie getting a sex talk from his dad? Who knows? I sure fucking don't. But I've already written a lot of chapters, including the two I've just mentioned, so it all depends on my mood at the time.

Oh, yes. I fully plan on writing chapters where Clay's sister watches them make-out and a chapter where they go to an old people party and liven it up a bit. It'll be fun. Trust me.

Review if you feel like it. I don't really give a shit...

Okay, I lied. Please review.