Breathe

Part 1 : My Will

by: deadxdreamer

comments: the prequel to "Beyond the Horizon", where the story of Saul, Deacon, Singer, and Michael gets told.

Warnings: slash, rape, bloodgore, incest… oh gosh, a lot of incest.

Claimer: The following work belongs to me under the pseudonym, deadxdreamer. If you would like to reproduce, recreate, or copy any portion of this story, then please contact me and obtain permission first. Thank you.


Run.

Ignore the pain in your legs.

Ignore the burn from the lack of oxygen in your entire body.

Just run.

Saul ran like he had never run before, desperately hoping that when he reached his home, it would still be standing, and his mother and sister would be waiting for him.

Run.

He demanded his legs to go faster, but he was quickly losing the ability to run at all. All he could hear was the pounding of his heart and his ragged breathing. He knew that his brother was probably doing the same, running for home like thousands of other men. The thought served to spur him to run faster and reach home before his younger sibling did.

Saul woke with a gasp, sweat beading on his forehead as he slowly brought his hands up to cover his face. Always the same nightmare, the same frantic dash home with the same oppressive fear that pushed him to go faster than his legs could go.

A warm hand placed itself on his bare arm, soothing away the tension.

"Saul? What is it? Was it that dream again?"

He turned his head towards the other boy, shaking his head as if he didn't know the answer himself. Slowly he turned onto his side, watching the pale moonlight stream in through the wall of windows that overlooked Downtown New Covenent. Its soft white glow lighting Justin as it cut a swath down the width of the bed. Smiling slightly, Saul reached out a hand and gently stroked the blond hair that always managed to glitter in the light. He wondered briefly at the softness, then at his ability to smile, attributing his newly reemerging emotions to the man he was quickly falling deeper and deeper in love with.

Blue eyes opened to look at his. "Saul, do you want to tell me what happened?"

Shrugging, he looked away, drawing his hand back to his own sweaty hair. Justin's hand snaked out of the sheets to finger his short black hair.

"I miss how long it was."

Smirking, he turned his head to face him. "You should cut yours. It's getting long."

"Stop trying to change the subject."

"You did first."

Laughing, Justin curled into Saul's side and sighed contentedly, idly drawing a hand across lean pectoral muscles.

"Why won't you tell me?"

After a long period of silence, Saul finally stilled Justin's wandering hand, covering it with his own.

"Because I made myself forget all of it."

"No one can do that."

Sighing, Saul turned onto his side, bringing Justin's hand with him. His mind mulled over his words and realized how true it was. No one could forget the horrors of the past… no matter how far they had run.


- Saul's pov -

I used to love rain, now it just meant that we would be soaking wet for days after and cold and miserable all during. I turn to where Deacon is cowering in the corner of the abandoned warehouse I had found, the dinner I had stolen still at his feet. Looking at him looking up at the raindrops as they pelted his face, I wanted nothing more than to hold him and reassure him that all was going to be fine. Sometimes, I don't know how we ended up here, on the streets of Central New Covenent, like so many other boys our age.

We tried so hard those first few months, but jobs were scarce and the bills plentiful. We couldn't turn to our other family members or neighbors or even the state. Everyone was suffering from the Great War. The utilities went first. Then the house. We eventually found ourselves roaming the streets, stealing what we needed to live on. I wished that I could do more than sit idly by and watch my brother grow thinner and the vacant look in his eyes grow more and more empty.

"Saul?"

I was immediately at his side, wrapping my arms around his too thin frame. "Yeah, I'm here."

"You know what I miss the most?"

"Deacon, don't think about –"

"Christmas. I miss Christmas the most. You know, how ma and Mary would cook with all of our aunts and all the uncles and cousins would sit around talking and watching tv in the other room. And then ma would always come out and make us send someone to cook with them."

"It was always me."

"It was always you."

We had a short laugh before Deacon's hacking coughs stopped our levity. We held each other in the silence, listening to the sound of the rain fall around us.

"Then Christmas would come and I would always get to open the presents first. You would always let me open them first," Deacon finished with a sigh, huddling closer to Saul's meager warmth. "You always took care of me."

"Because I love you."

Smiling against my chest, Deacon nodded and held onto me tighter, like when he slipped into my bed during thunderstorms. "I know."

The rain had passed and dark clouds were rolling across the sky, casting an omnious warning of further rainstorms. I jolted awake first, carefully pulling myself from my brother's tight grip. I needed to find breakfast.

Rubbing the sleep from my eyes and stretching to get the kinks out of my muscles from sleeping on the cold floor, I made my way towards Central New Covenant. My first destination was the public transport, where I liberated quite a few businessmen of their cynings until I had enough for breakfast. Slipping off of the transport, I made my way down the bustling street, hoping to keep away from some of the punks I knew ran around this area.

It used to rankle in my conscience whenever I went on my food runs, but after the second time and the pain in my stomach, it was enough to ease any kind of regret or remorse. I had to take care of Deacon. It was that solitary thought that drive me to do anything, otherwise long ago, I would have give up on living… especially after the horrors I had seen.

Just as I finished the thought, a man stepped out of a plush car, dressed as if he owned all the money in the world. He took one look at me and stopped, motioning to the man beside him only to whisper something into his ear. I had grown wary of the proceedings, however, and slowly looked around for an escape route. Nothing good came from rich men whispering into ears.

"You, boy!"

The burly manservant took a step towards me and that was all I needed. I bolted… and he gave chase. Questions bombarded my mind. Who was that man? What did he want with me? What was so important that he sent his bodyguard looking man to chase after me?

Years of track and field, gave me an edge over the older man, and cutting through a familiar alley, I lost him. Catching my breath again, I started walking towards the major street at the end of the alley. The rich man looked oddly familiar, like I had seen him somewhere. But that would be impossible. How would I know someone like him?

Suddenly, someone latched onto my arm and pushed me roughly up against the wall. Oddly, I wasn't afraid. This had happened before and I usually escaped stupid bullies or thugs… only this time, I realized it was the guy I had just lost and he had the advantage now with his weight thrown against my back.

"When Mr. Singer wants to talk to you, you stop and talk with Mr. Singer," he growled into my ear, suddenly jerking away from the brick wall.

"Get your hands off me."

He looked at me curiously before shoving me ahead of him, his hands holding my arms behind me, prodding me to walk faster. "He's waiting."

Singer.

Isaac Singer.

So it seemed that I had seen the man before, it would have been impossible not to. He was everywhere. After the Great War, certain real estate became prime in the City's attempt to get the economy back into gear. Singer owned all that property and the construction companies the City used. There was even talk of him trying to expand into the raw materials that went into construction.

And now I was about to meet one of the wealthiest and most powerful men in all of New Covenant.

Mr. Isaac Singer.

end part 1