Rainwater Runs Clear
Summary: Alex has had a boring and lonely 16 years. She's only had one boyfriend in her entire life and not many more friends. Her trust for anyone has been buried deep inside her all her life and sinks deeper and deeper in a hole with every person she meets and believes that it won't ever come out for anyone. But that all changes when she meets Ian.
Prologue: After the Storm
I'm walking through the Wal-Mart still in the pajamas I was wearing when I had walked out of the apartment. I can feel the people watching me, staring at me. Their eyes running over my bruised, broken, and tired body. While looking at the blankets on the shelf, studying them, I begin to wonder what's more interesting to them, what catches their attention and makes them stick to me, like an ant caught in the poison that would eventually kill them. Is it my bruised and still bleeding face, my overgrown tummy, the various bruises and cuts running down my arm visible by the short sleeves, or is it simply the fact that I'm wearing pajamas or because of my overly short-crazy colored hair? Or maybe it is all of the above mixing with the fact that I'm still so young. I feel like going up to one of them and asking them.
But a part of me knows better, knows that I can not even trust them to hear the sound of my voice. Because I know that if any of these strangers hear me, that they will hear the true sadness that lingers always inside of me. I may even break down and get on my hands and knees and beg them to take me home with them and allow me to become a part of their family, me and my bump.
I shake myself out of my fantasy land and tell myself to continue with the task at hand. I'm suppose to buy new sheets for our bed. God, I don't even know why I bother. New sheets won't help me. Won't be able to make me forget about what I have witnessed on this night. I need a new life to make me forget tonight.
God, I would kill for a new life. No. Scratch that. That's not true at all. There are many things that I want to change about my life. Need to change about my life. But I don't need a brand new life. To start all over again from the second I was born. I have everything that I could ever want, more than I've ever dreamed of. Some things just need to be taken away.
I don't even know why I'm looking at sheets, it's not like we can afford them. Hell, I don't even have a dime on me. This whole trip is more of a way to stay out of the apartment. To give him some time to cool down. And then I will go back, within hours. Back to his sad blue eyes, silently begging me to forgive him. Which we both know I will do and will continue to do forever. That's right forever. That is the deal. Forever. Infinity. Never to part for longer than a day.
I sigh, and skimming my fingers across the packaged-up blankets sitting on the shelves as I walk down the aisle. I can feel several more peoples' eyes on me as I walk through the store, towards the exit. The only real reason I even came here was because I could not afford the money for gas to go for a drive. I would much rather be driving as fast as I could down the highway in his crappy car, momentarily being lifted into the sky as I held my hand out the window and let the wind take control.
Now I sit in that run down car after being in the store for only moments, but what felt like hours. I sigh, a big sigh, the kind that makes your whole body feel it, the sigh of an overly exhausted woman who has dealt with more than most people have in their entire lives, at only 18.
I catch my reflection in the cracked rear view mirror and then silently wished that I hadn't. My right eye was red and swollen from the blow I received not too long ago. My lip cracked and bleeding from the slap I had received not much long after the blow. My eyes still puffy and red from crying after I first got in the cart. And suddenly, out of nowhere, my nose starts bleeding. I wasn't hit there. It most be just a normal nose bleed. But I ignore it.
I ignore all the marks on my body, all the thoughts in my head. And like a machine doing only what the master says, I start up the car. I know that it is time to get back to him and I secretly prepare myself for what I will get back to. Those beautiful blue eyes of the man I love. Of the man that loves me.
And I know that that may sound really silly to you. Especially after you find out everything that has happened to us. From the beginning. But a part of me knows that he always has loved me. Maybe even from the moment that we very first met. He loves me, regardless of everything, he just doesn't know how to express it right. Because after all he has never felt it from anyone. Nor seen two people that were so in love that they thought that they may die from the intensity of it.
I start thinking back to the day we first met. The day that all the planets alined and brought our two broken souls together to create one whole person...
Wow. I wrote this 5 years ago. It all started out on a notebook and I made plenty of spelling and grammar mistakes so I'm going through this story and editing it and am already working on adding additional chapters which will be up after I edit the ones I already had. If you notice any mistakes I may have missed, feel free to tell me.