The greatest review ever.
Is it possible?
Can it be?
I don't believe it….
THE GREATEST REVIEW EVER!
SEASON 2, Ep.3
Brought To You By:
The Crimes against Constructive Criticism Center
A Very Disappointed Author (Original owner of the A.V.D.A)
And Viewer's Like You!
(Flashy opening graphics sequence accompanied by music, but no applause. AVDA walks in to a dark, empty set, except for a stool center stage, with a pool of light shining down upon it. He sits.)
AVDA: Good evening folks. A lot of you are probably wondering why there is no audience here tonight, and where all the expensive lights, and flashy graphics have disappeared to. Well, the reason that has all been packed up and put away, is because FictionPress has finally reached, to an acceptable degree, the peace this show was trying to achieve.
The authors whom this piece originally was targeting have seemed to return to their daily lives and activities, as have I, and a whole new wave of authors have joined our site and began to write pieces to be forever recorded in the tomes of FictionPress.
Therefore, after some serious personal debate, have decided that The Greatest Review Ever has successfully served its purpose; while it hasn't eradicated flaming as a whole, which, of course, is an impossibility as that would require eliminating every stubborn person on the face of this earth, it has managed to put a cap on this shaken-up bottle of egotistical effervescence.
It has been a privilege, and a personal enjoyment, to bring you all the satirical commentary over the past few months, and I will sincerely miss the fun I had writing and starring in this program, however at this point in time I feel it would only cause more harm to continue, then it would further my original intent.
So, in closure, thank you all for watching, and laughing along with me at the people who really needed to understand what it felt like to be laughed at for a change.
But, and I will boldface this as to make it perfectly clear:
"Do not, in any way, shape, or form, view this as some sort of "admittance of defeat" or a "stepping down based on inability to continue". If I see the need arise to continue my program, I will be back on this set every night bringing you the quality entertainment needed to keep certain people, whether they are old, or new, in check."
I am keeping a watchful eye FictionPress. I can have this set re-assembled and ready to run in less then a day's time. Just give me the reason. And fellow authors, be sure to inform me if you've been flamed excessively as I will be happy to make a few extra appearances in your defense….that is why I'm here to begin with.
So, once again, thank you all, and for what hopefully will be the last time,
"This is A Very Disappointed Author, signing off from everyone's favorite game show…"
(We hear a distant roar of audiences past)
Audience: THE GREATEST REVIEW EVER!!!!
(Fade to black)
AVDA: But remember, I'll be watching.