If you're reading this, then I must be dead

Most likely from the bullet I put in my head

To those I left behind: my family; my friends

I'm sorry, but this is where my story ends

I couldn't take being alone anymore

I've gone through the very last door

Because nobody truly understands what I'm about

And because my head is too full of doubt

I have no girlfriend to date

And I'm working a job I hate

I'm the butt of every joke my new friends say

And if I step up, it's another hospital stay

I don't expect you to grieve or mourn for me

I know I'm not who anybody expected me to be

As the days pass by quickly

This gun looks evermore friendly

Becoming to me less deadly

And more a way out of being me

You don't understand, do you?

But that's ok, you were never meant to

Nobody ever does understand who I am

That's why you're reading these words written by my hand

Is it my fault that I suffer so?

Is it my fault I'm different than everybody else?

So radically gifted and yet erratically stinted

But then, nobody ever stopped to listen

To hear what I had to say

They always called me stupid and made fun

All because they never understood

But that's okay, I forgive them all

And in the end, it all rolls into a ball

Is there a god? Do you know?

I've always thought the answer was no

But I've been thinking as my sorrows deepened

And so, for my sins, I do repent

And I hope God forgives this one last offense

My suicide; my eternal weakness