MMPP: Okay. I'm going to pretend that I didn't take an entire year and a few hours to update this story. But I will say this:
I AM NOT ABANDONING THIS STORY. THE STORY STILL LIVES.
Now, stop worrying, okay my little chickies? Yes. I called you all chickies. I felt like it, okay?
You call all thank Liviania, who unintentionally made me realize why I wrote this story in the first place and made me stop procrastinating the update for this story at last.
Congrats to xSpotlightxNoxMorex on being Reviewer of the Week (or I guess the Year in this case?)!
Now, this chapter is more on the dramatic side for ONE reason and ONE reason only: PLOT ACTUALLY STARTS to... get to a CLIMAX.
But after this, it'll all be hahahahohohohehehehe... OMGWTFBBQHAX?! and stuff... You know, the usual.
I hope you all are still with me and I apologize greatly for not updating sooner.
OH!! And I actually am going to start writing another story that I have in mind... SOOO... If you see something like " from me... check it out because it's a little story I want to start working on for the public. x3
linebreakerinsomniareallyhelpswritersgetthroughtheirwritersblockbutitsuressetsthembackwhentheytrytosleepwhentheycanfinallyrelax
WHO KNEW?
Wednesday, February 17, 2005
On average, 100 people choke on ball-point pens every year. Talk about "the pen is mightier than the sword."
POST-IT NOTE FROM VANCE:
You got me drunk my first night here?
POST-IT NOTE FROM LUKE:
Yes.
Bureau Remembrance Agency in Nerves (B.R.A.I.N.)
Memory Officials
Log 938274920183748431
Logger: Agent 23
It's a hard morning for Luke today since for… undisclosed reasons, he decided to get drunk on a Tuesday, knowing that he has work today. I don't understand why we even bother to have this network if none of us are willing to communicate with other each other about these things. It was perfectly fine when WUC and EGC were in control. Once they got kidnapped, things went downhill.
Luke is currently groaning, thanks to Agent 47. There are messages being sent to Agent 93 to begin conversation with Vance, who is trying to concentrate heavily on the coffee machine in front of him. Apparently he's having trouble with the machine, considering he is leveling his vision with the buttons and bending slightly on his knees with his hands folded at the edges of the counter.
Conversation shall now be recorded:
"How the hell do you work this thing?"
"You press the red button."
"What red button?"
"The… red button? It should be there." Luke unfortunately is feeling the wrath of Sensory Officials, getting a huge headache now. "It's red."
"No duh," Vance gasps excitedly for a moment, pressing a button. "Found it."
The phone rings.
End of log.
Bureau Remembrance Agency in Nerves (B.R.A.I.N.)
Memory Officials
Log 938274920183748432
Logger: Agent 78
Oh my god… Like it is waaaaay too early in the morning for these logs, okay? Gosh. Sometimes I wish I could be in Sector 44 (Night Shift) since they only have to work when Luke sleeps… Uh. So unfair. But whatever, like here I am, bitches.
So, yeah, like the phone rang and Luke totally looked at the phone and went all like "What the fuck? Why's the phone ringing? Bitches" and the phone was like, "Well, fuck you, I'm still ringing" and Luke, like, glared at the phone and was all like, "Fuck you too because I'm not answering you" and the phone just like… kept ringing! It was a total bitch.
So, like, Vance gets angry, right? And he like, kind of this weird thing that was—well, it wasn't like weird-weird, but it was pretty weird, like one of those majorly hot goth guys? Yeah… Wait, like, is "majorly" a word? I don't think it is. Oh my god! It isn't! That is so not cool. Majorly should totally be a word. People use that word. I use that word! Even though… it's… still like… not a word, but at the same time, it is, you know? Like yeah, like maybe, okay… like not really, but you get what I mean.
Anyways, Luke answers the phone all cranky-poo-like 'cause it really is too early in the morning for some phone chatting. And so, he almost shouts, "Hello?!"
Conversation shall now be recorded:
"Good. You're awake." Uh. Alec called. You know, I thought he was hot, but he's like this uptight loser who like… cares too much. Yeah. Okay… So he's still hot, but whatever.
"Oh. Hi Alec."
"I wanted to make sure you were okay when you woke up."
"Yeah, thanks. I have to get ready for work, okay?"
"Yeah, I know. Take a chaser. I left it next to your coffeemaker."
"Thanks."
Awww… Okay, so maybe Alec isn't so bad… but he's still uptight. OH MY GOD! ARE THOSE BAGS UNDER LUKE'S EYES?
OH.
MY.
GOD.
Okay, bitches, that is IT.
I have put up with your motherfucking crap and all that shit. I kept quiet with all your "get drunk and nasty" ways and even cheered you all on because I'm a good team player who roots for my team. I made due with the fact that Luke's been fucking like crazy even though I still remember all those religion classes and know that like SEX IS SPECIAL, DAMN IT. I even kept my foot down when you guys made Luke wear the green briefs instead of the purple thong when he went to Rick's house for V-Day!
BUT NOW?
BUT NOW?
NO! You made my Luke, the Luke I've been logging for years on. The Luke I've been doing OVER TIME for in Sector 41 (Health Issues) so that he doesn't get an alcoholic addiction or a nymphomaniac personality or a slutty fashion sense! YOU MADE HIM GET BAGS?!
Oh, that is it.
It's on now, bitches. Fuck you all!
End of log.
Bureau Remembrance Agency in Nerves (B.R.A.I.N.)
Memory Officials
Log 938274920183748433
Logger: Agent 66
Dude… Did anyone see the meltdown Agent 78 just had? Oh man, that was precious! And our wonderful victim of a human, Luke, just went total "OMG! NO!" in front of the mirror over the most unnoticeable black circles ever placed under human eyes. I guess I'll just have to be the one to send messages to Agent 47 to continue his first mission on getting ready for work.
End of log.
From the desk of Ryan Matthews
Luke? Did you get drunk again?
From the desk of Luke Phillips
Not today, Ryan.
From the desk of Ryan Matthews
Luke… I'm all for your little Trying-to-Find-Love issue, but… This is what? The third time you've come to work with a hangover? I mean, I don't want to be pushy, but… Do you have a problem?
From the desk of Luke Phillips
I am not an alcoholic if that's what you're implying.
From the desk of Ryan Matthews
With the habits you have, you could become one.
From the desk of Shirley Hems
You need to stop coming to work with hangovers. Grow up and stop partying.
From the desk of Luke Phillips
Don't comment on my life, please.
YOU'VE GOT MAIL!
To: "Luke"
From: "Rick"
Date: February 17, 2005
Subject: I think we have issues.
What the hell happened last night? All I remember is you and Vance came to my house while I was cleaning, we got drunk off our asses, and… the… "orgy of all time"?
-Rick
To: "Rick"
From: "Luke"
Date: February 17, 2005
Subject: Re: Who doesn't have issues?
Rick, you know you're not supposed to e-mail me at work, but even so… I don't really remember what happened last night either, just vague memories. I remember we were kissing though and I think… I think I almost got it on with my cousin.
Rick… I really don't want to be a gay hillbilly.
To: "Luke"
From: "Rick"
Date: February 17, 2005
Subject: Re: GOD doesn't have issues
You serious? XD Oh, wow. Never in my days would I ever see you submit to the wonderfully erotic world of incest. Congratulations, Luke.
Though, we were getting some action as well? Please, do tell me more.
-Rick
PS
You could never become a gay hillbilly, Luke. You hate overalls.
To: "Rick"
From: "Luke"
Date: February 17, 2005
Subject: Re: …Was that necessary?
I don't remember it all! We were just kissing. On the floor. Almost naked. In front of Vance. Who was cheering us on.
But that's all I remember, I swear.
And I hate overalls only because of that weird painting incident back in 7th grade.
To: "Luke"
From: "Rick"
Date: February 17, 2005
Subject: Re: Is anything I say necessary?
Quite a vivid image of us kissing you have, Luke. Dare I say, I might even get the temptation of trying to fill in more details to that memory… Were we groping each other, making each other hot and uncomfortable? Erections and all?
I remember that! Man… your hair was blue for two weeks! It was awesome!
To: "Rick"
From: "Luke"
Date: February 17, 2005
Subject: Re: Then why do you say them?
Rick… You can't be sending me those type of messages in work. I seriously could get in trouble.
And I don't remember. We might have been groping each other—we probably were. I was also probably straddling you since I've always had the habit whenever we goofed around, except as I guess at that time, I wouldn't be straddling just to sit on you.
And no! It was not awesome! You know how many times David, that wear kid who used to draw stick figures murdering people, kept trying to be my friend? I tell you… That hair attracted all sorts of freaks. All sorts.
To: "Luke"
From: "Rick"
Date: February 17, 2005
Subject: Re: To provoke you, of course
You should know by now that I have always been a daredevil in the internet world. If we get caught, then we do. And it's not like we're doing anything wrong. I am just confirming if I had pounded my cock inside you, making you orgasm in your climax, and then proceeding to kiss you fondly right after until you fell asleep in my arms.
Nothing wrong.
Hey… I liked David. David was cool. And come on… You know you loved the freaks. Hell, I was one of those freaks, Luke. Remember? I was the kid always drawing eyes? Or worse yet, collecting them? Man… It's a really good thing I gave up that hobby after a year… or I'd seriously never get laid.
To: "Rick"
From: "Luke"
Date: February 17, 2005
Subject: Re: You provoke me too much
Rick! What did I tell you?!
And you're different, you know that. You just liked eyes, that's all. It was your passion and I knew that. You weren't some kid drawing people dying.
To: "Luke"
From: "Rick"
Date: February 17, 2005
Subject: Re: You know you like it
I'm different? Now Luke, why would I be so different from the other freaks? Just because we've known each other since we were practically born? What difference does that even make?
To: "Rick"
From: "Luke"
Date: February 17, 2005
Subject: Re: That doesn't mean you should do it
You know you've always been different in my eyes. You don't need to know why.
To: "Luke"
From: "Rick"
Date: February 17, 2005
Subject: Re: Then stop me.
Then why are we still friends, Luke?
Luke's Nervous System
Emergency Aids: Agent 93 an Agent 47
Dear Luke,
Well, um, wow… I don't actually know how to help you in this part. I didn't know EGC and WUC actually helped you out when it comes to these things. Man, that's tough. Well, um, all I can say is… Perhaps you need to think about some things? Rick is your best friend, the only guy you trust at the moment. I mean, you like Taylor, but you barely know him. Sorry I can't help much, but the network still needs time to stop you from being confused.
Agent 93
Dear Luke,
There's not much we can do. Only WUC and EGC specialize in this field and know how to answer you. PMS and SQ are trying hard to rescue them, we assure you. We would help, Luke. We honestly would, but… we wouldn't know where to start. Unfortunately, you have to start thinking yourself. I know it's hard, but that's the one thing the network has failed to do. We forgot to tell you to grow up.
You have to start taking some control because as you grow older, the network, us, won't be with you anymore. Eventually our job will be done… and I guess that's why there's a rogue agent on the loose. He is doing what we all want to do, but refrain from doing so because we all love you, Luke.
He's making sure you're always going to need us.
You have to save yourself, Luke.
You have to start taking control your mind.
Agent 47
From the Front Office
Dear Luke Phillips,
There is a man at the front office who claims to know you personally. He goes by the name of "Vance Laguna." If you do not know him, we will send security on him promptly.
The Front Office
From the desk of Luke Phillips
Dear Front Office,
I was certain that I had already discussed this issue. If it is anyone besides Mr. Hank Lawler and Mr. John Williams, I am perfectly fine with whoever is visiting me. You do not need to keep asking me permission.
Luke Phillips
POST-IT FROM VANCE:
Hi Luke!!!
POST-IT FROM VANCE:
So… When's Lunch?
POST-IT FROM VANCE:
I wanted to visit you. Your house is boring, except for Skinny, but Skinny wanted to sleep. She's so funny. J
POST-IT FROM VANCE:
Do I see sex on your computer?
POST-IT FROM VANCE:
Rick?
POST-IT FROM VANCE:
Paint?
POST-IT FROM VANCE:
DONUT!!!
POST-IT FROM VANCE:
Sorry.
From the mailroom
When I was delivering mail, I noticed the guy next to you… Who is he? –Chris
From the desk of Luke Phillips
He's my cousin, Vance. HI!!!
From the mailroom
Hi Vance! I'm Chris.
From the desk of Luke Phillips
Hello Chris. Did you know that there are exactly eleven dead flies on the window next to Luke? I feel great pity for them since they were probably killed by Luke. Luke is a murderer. Watch out for him.
Haha, I kid.
Or do I?
I do. Just bored.
From the mailroom
lol. Imagine working here day after day. Sometimes I get an orgasm when a green colored envelope appears in the mailroom because I'm so used to white that when it arrives… It's heaven.
From the desk of Luke Phillips
Oh my. Orgasms from green envelopes? That must be very intense, especially with its kind, sultry words to turn you on right after, no? Unless it's a sadist and cuts you. Cutting makes blood appear. Blood is red. Red is a love color. Love is sexy. Sexy as breathing. Cutting is breathing? Quick! Cut yourself before you die!
From the mailroom
You are one interesting character, you know that? But sure, I'll cut myself. And only the purple envelopes whisper sweet nothings into my ears whenever we make love.
From the desk of Luke Phillips
(Le gasp!) You are cheating on the green envelopes with the purple ones? Why, no wonder why they do not whisper lovely words of affection! They know the truth. Quick, you must end this madness and confess your love to your true soul mate!
From the mailroom
My soul mate is you!
From the desk of Luke Phillips
Me?! Why, surely you are mistaken, for my soul mate is nothing but a person who loves to inhale oxygen every second of the day and nothing else, drink water and food, and sleep when tired! You do not do such things!
Or do you?
From the mailroom
I do! I do! Oh sweet love, I have found you!
From the desk of Luke Phillips
Then stop making love to the envelopes, you slut! And let me see your precious face at the hour of our routine meal!
From the mailroom
I shall, my love!
From the desk of Luke Phillips
You guys are nuts. I shall see you then!
Recorded conversation between Ryan Matthews, Luke Phillips, Christopher Vega, Vance Laguna, and Melanie Kawashima
(Later on, Shirley Hems joins)
(click)
"What do you do with these recorded conversations, Ryan?"
"I use them for my podcast shows."
"Excuse me?"
"You heard me."
"I can't believe you!"
"What harm does it do to you? It's not like they know who you are, Luke."
"Is that my soul mate, I see?"
"Only if you know what the answer to the question in my head is."
"Yes."
"Soul mate!"
"You guys aren't serious, are you?"
"Dear cousin, why would I joke about such serious matters?"
"Because you aren't… gay… Are you?"
"When you have found your soul mate, sexuality is nothing but a physical trait."
"What?"
"His soul is what I love! Not his body!"
"As I to you, my love."
"Okay, seriously, stop this. Vance, you're not gay."
"How do you know?"
"You are?"
"Maybe."
"What? When was this?"
"Since I found my soul mate."
"Vance! Stop that!"
"You can't stop the power of love, Luke."
"Shut up, Ryan."
"So… there's TWO gay cousins in the family… Nice."
"Melanie, not helping."
"Ah… You know we're kidding, Luke." (chuckle) "I am only nineteen. How could I possibly find my soul mate right now?"
"You're nineteen? I'm twenty-one."
"Chris."
"What? It's true."
"Stop making moves on my cousin."
"What moves?" (chuckle) "I am not doing anything."
"Oh, but of course you are doing something, silly person. You are breathing, sitting, talking, staring, listening—why, you're doing all sorts of things!"
"Yet, I have not asked you out to dinner on Friday night."
"What makes you refrain?"
"Your stand on sexuality."
"Pity." (a pause) "I might have said yes."
"Fine. Be passive-aggressive then."
"I've never seen you like this, Chris."
"That's because we usually are having hot, passionate affairs, Luke. We fuck, we don't talk." (sigh) "Talking is overrated."
"I like talking."
"Then would you like to go out to dinner on Friday?"
"Hmm… I don't know. The universe might be against you."
"Couldn't possibly be… I don't steal potatoes."
"You don't?"
"I don't."
"Then I'd be a fool as to say no!"
"Pick you up at eight?"
"Sure."
"Okay, the fuck is that?"
"What?"
"Yes, dear cousin, what?"
"You two just had a whole elaborate conversation with poetic-like sentences and then you end it with that?"
"Yes?"
"Your point?"
"LUKE! WHERE ARE YOUR ASSIGNMENTS?"
(click)
Telepathic Messages from Skinny:
You're home. I found that letter from Taylor. You didn't respond to it. I'm sorry for the little bit mark, I couldn't resist. Honestly, I'm really sorry. But—why are you picking me up? What are you doing? Where are you TAKING me?!
THE SPECIAL KITTY TODAY IS:
SKINNY
Telepathic Messages from Skinny:
I hate you. I honestly hate you. You took me to these damn cat meetings again? I hate these cats! They're all gossiping and all that nonsense. They don't have lives, no intelligence. They might as well be dogs. Get me out of here and get this STUPID CONE HAT OFF OF MY HEAD.
You have 1 message.
Message 1; Wednesday, February 17, 2005; 9:52 PM
Hi Luke. You never replied to my last e-mail and I wasn't sure if it was because you almost got caught at work or if it was because you didn't know how to respond. I'm sorry if I came on too strong. I'm just getting tired. Are we still going out Friday or… are you going to stay with him? Tell me, please. Bye. End of message.
Message erased.
End of messages.
Low battery.
THE VOICE
Luke,
Do you honestly want to live like this?
WHO KNEW?
Thursday, February 18, 2005
Wedding cake was originally thrown at the bride and groom, instead of eaten by them. Why, oh why, did we ever get rid of this tradition?
Mr. and Mrs. John Williams
9938 Nob Hill Lane
Sunrise, FL 33351
Dear Luke,
Good morning! I hope you don't mind that I wrote you a letter this morning, but even so. I just would like to comment on your cat, Skinny. She's a darling, little creature. There is no doubt about it, but… she seems to be so reserved and never seems to want to make any contacts with any of the other cats in the cat meetings. Perhaps you should take her to the veterinarian to see if she is all right? She might be depressed, Luke.
Anyways, I am also looking forward to that protest Diane has scheduled on Saturday. I will be making some brownies for those are hungry and some lemonade. I know we are protesting, but we will be there until nine in the morning! Surely we will get hungry. Anyhow, I hope to see you there.
Say hello to Vancey-dear for me.
Sincerely,
Mrs. Williams
Luke Phillips
9940 Nob Hill Lane
Sunrise, FL 33351
Dear Mrs. Williams,
Good morning to you too. I appreciate your utter most concern for my cat, but I am certain that she is not depressed. She just does not like interacting with other cats much.
I, however, am not looking to the protest my mother has scheduled this Saturday. I believe the situation is getting out of hand. Mr. Lawler is a respectable man and should be treated as such. If he didn't/doesn't wash his hands, then it would be just a matter of telling him to do so. I'm sure he would have done so. Instead, we are acting like fools and scheduling an unnecessary protest so that he will wish his hands.
I will be looking forward to your brownies, however.
And Vance says hello.
Luke Phillips
From the mailroom
So, am I still going out with Vance on Friday? I forgot if we were joking or not. –Chris
From the desk of Luke Phillips
Yes. Surprisingly, it is still on. I thought you were not interested in love?
From the mailroom
I'm not. He is just interesting, that's all.
From the desk of Luke Phillips
Then I guess we can no longer just engage in sexual activities…
From the mailroom
But I liked the sex…
From the desk of Luke Phillips
Pick then.
From the mailroom
I'll take your cousin. Besides, you have to chose between those two boys, remember?
From the desk of Luke Phillips
Sigh… Don't remind me.
Bureau Remembrance Agency in Nerves (B.R.A.I.N.)
Memory Officials
Log 938274920183748434
Logger: Agent 52
Luke has decided to eat alone today, taking the opportunity to call Rick.
Conversation shall now be recorded:
"Hello?"
"Hi Rick."
"Luke."
"How is everything?"
"Fine. You?"
"Good." Luke then sighs. "I miss how things used to be simple."
"Don't we all?"
"I miss how the biggest problem in my life was surviving those boxing lessons."
"Well, look on the bright side. Now, you can kick some serious ass."
"Remember when we were younger?" Luke smiles as memories from Sector 899 (Childhood Closet) are sent to him. "And—and how we used to go to that little candy store in the Lincoln Plaza?"
"Yeah." Rick laughs. "And the owner would always yell at us because he always thought we were stealing candy."
"We were, though."
"That's not the point."
"You know that place is closing down?"
"No… Really? That sucks."
"We used to do all sorts of stupid things here."
"We used to do all sorts of illegal things here, Luke."
"Yeah," Luke laughs more. "Oh man… And remember that one time you tried to climb my roof so that you could get my umbrella?"
"Yeah, you damn bastard." Rick says this lovingly though. "You and your stupid fear of heights."
"You're the one who decided to climb it in the rain, you idiot."
"Your umbrella would have blown away and your father said he would punish you if you lost another one."
"Yeah, but that doesn't mean risk your life. I think I could've handled the punishment."
"Well, sorry for thinking about you."
Luke blushes.
"Still stupid though. Risking your damn life for a freaking umbrella."
"What I still don't understand is how the fuck did the wind get so strong and rip the thing out of your hands and make it latch onto the roof. I mean, you remember how it happened? You came outside to walk me inside your house and WOOOOSH! The thing FLEW!"
"Fate? Or maybe God was trying to kill you and just failed."
"Makes sense. I flipped off Father Tony the day before."
"Just because you hated your CCD classes, that doesn't mean you had to take it out on the priests. They didn't force you there."
"Yeah, but he was an ass, you know. Say all you want about priests being nice… Father Tony was simply just an ass."
"So you flipped him off?"
"Yeah."
"Trying to a badass?"
"What for? The only person I was trying to impress was you and even then, you were too busy getting your fucking umbrellas caught on your roof."
"Hey! Hey… I was impressed with the roof-climbing, okay? I seriously thought you were going to die. I was already claiming dibs on your CD collection."
"Oh, thanks. A life of friendship and all you care about is my music."
"I also claimed dibs on that Indian jacket you had. The one with that cool red eagle print on the back."
"Fuck that. I wrote a will to have me buried in that."
"Oh, screw you!"
By this point, there doesn't seem to be any point to the conversation besides laughing and reminiscing. Though, it's quieting down.
"Instead of a movie, let's go to that candy shop, just one more time—before it closes."
Luke nods, "Okay."
"And if it rings and your umbrella gets caught on your apartment roof—"
"You'll risk your life again and get me my umbrella?"
"I'm tying you to my back and getting my revenge, bitch."
"Rick!"
End of conversation.
Hank Lawler
9904 NW 47th St.
Sunrise, FL 33351
I will kill you if I see you at that protest.
Luke Phillips
9940 Nob Hill Lane
Sunrise, FL 33351
Mr. Lawler!
None of this is my idea! It's my mother's! I am just involuntarily being dragged into this all. I honestly didn't want any of this to happen. I honestly didn't!
Luke Phillips
POST-IT NOTE FROM VANCE:
You look really sleepy. Take a nap.
Telepathic Message from Skinny:
Yeah… You do look really tired. Take a nap. Um, and well, I know this sounds awkward, but can I sleep on your stomach? You always kind of shove me off because you never know it's me, but I like it there. God, that's embarrassing to say…
POST-IT NOTE FROM VANCE:
Don't shove Skinny. She is sleeping.
Dear Luke,
Hey babe, it's me again. PMS and I didn't want you getting drunk again, so we called Agent 47 and asked for a little nap. Anyways, we don't have much time, but we have really good news for you. PMS and I are going to kill the Panic Squad in a little bit and you'll be able to get EGC and WUC back! Isn't that a great little treat for you? Sure, it isn't as good as sex, but you can a serious pleasure from it too. Love ya.
Slut-Quirks Sub
Dear Luke,
Haven't killed anyone in awhile and I can't wait to kill the bastards. EGC and WUC will boss you around just how you like it so you don't have to do anything anymore. Yeah, little pathetic you won't have to worry about your issues anymore. Feeling the burn of reality, Luke? It sucks to solve issues, doesn't it? You always took EGC and WUC for granted. They solved everything for you. They did everything for you. And moment they're gone, you fuck your life up. Sigh… but they miss you, so I guess it doesn't matter.
Psychotic-Murderer Sub
Luke's Nervous System
Sector 9:
Panic Squad
Luke!
Please, do not panic.
There seems to be some serious malfunctions going on and someone is breaking into our headquarters, but there is no need to worry. There is no need to worry. There is absolutely nothing—
Good Lord! NO! Oh God NO!
Luke, it's okay. We will solve this. We're getting to the bottom of this.
GET AWAY!
AHHHHHHH!
Jesus Christ! Everyone is dying!
Don't panic, Luke!
AHHHHHHH!
"Hey baby, how's about I show you a little trick…"
AHHHHHHH!
"SQ, stop flirting and just kill the bastards."
"Aww… but this one is cute…"
"SQ."
"Ugh… Fine."
PANIC.
PANIC.
"Today's your last day, you little fucker."
PANIC.
PAN—
Sector 9: Terminally erased.
POST-IT NOTE FROM VANCE:
You kept jumping in your sleep. Have a nightmare?
Telepathic Message from Skinny:
I saw the whole thing, Luke. It's going to be fine, okay? Puuurrr… It's going to be fine.
Bureau Remembrance Agency in Nerves (B.R.A.I.N.)
Memory Officials
Log 938274920183748435
Logger: Agent 23
Well, it's official. Sector 9 (The Panic Squad) no longer exists. The top agents aren't exactly telling us why, but maybe they got fired or something. Either way, WUC and EGC have been released from their cells and are currently returning back their jobs, letting Agent 93 and Agent 47 off the hook of Emergency Aids.
I still do wonder what happened to Sector 9…
Bureau Remembrance Agency in Nerves (B.R.A.I.N.)
Memory Officials
Log 938274920183748436
Logger: Agent 78
Like, you know what I heard? I heard they all like totally died. Yeah. Like, Texas Chainsaw Massacre died! I think it was that sexy as Hell whack-O PMS who killed 'em all. He's killed a lot of people in this network that has ever given EGC, WUC, or Luke problems. Something about a favor he owes… I wonder what EGC, WUC, and Luke did to make PMS be so dedicated to them. And well, like, SQ is just PMS's little bitch. I bet none of you know, but they have like crazy fucking hot sex.
That's hot.
(Like, Paris Hilton is a slut, but that phrase totally rocks.)
Bureau Remembrance Agency in Nerves (B.R.A.I.N.)
Memory Officials
Log 938274920183748437
Logger: Agent 52
I guess we're all completely forgetting about the regulations, but oh well. Yeah, I agree with Agent 78. I may be new here, but I did here a lot of screaming when I passed by Sector 9. I thought it was weird at first, but I didn't ask because there are other rooms that have random screams of pure pain and torture too. Like, the one Agent 13 works in…
I'm glad WUC and EGC are back in their jobs though. Things should run much more smoothly, but… What about the loose agent?
And is it just me or does the Top 10 never speak to anyone anymore? Am I just being paranoid?
Bureau Remembrance Agency in Nerves (B.R.A.I.N.)
Memory Officials
Log 938274920183748438
Logger: Agent 66
I think the rookie is right for once. The Top 10 have been strangely quiet lately…
And yes, it's been confirmed. Sector 9 went through a massacre, proudly from SQ and PMS. Damn… Those lucky bastards though, right? Since they're in the Subconscious, they can't be touched. They can pretty much do whatever they want.
And Agent 78: Why the hell do you know about SQ and PMS's sex life?
Bureau Remembrance Agency in Nerves (B.R.A.I.N.)
Memory Officials
Log 938274920183748439
Logger: Agent 78
Agent 66:
Oh, well, like that's easy. I was taking my break and jogging around the Scenery Memories, right? And then, like out of no where, I jog past the dungeon rooms and totally saw PMS like giving it to SQ.
But it was still like super-cute, you know?
Bureau Remembrance Agency in Nerves (B.R.A.I.N.)
Memory Officials
Log 938274920183748440
Logger: Agent 66
Agent 78:
You do realize you have just called BDSM sex "cute," right?
Bureau Remembrance Agency in Nerves (B.R.A.I.N.)
Memory Officials
Log 938274920183748441
Logger: Agent 78
Agent 66:
Yeah, so? What, you think just 'cause I'm like some sort of preppy boy that I can't like BDSM? Huh? Well, let me tell you, you overly monotone gothic freak, I can like all the BDSM sex I want. Okay?
Bureau Remembrance Agency in Nerves (B.R.A.I.N.)
Memory Officials
Log 938274920183748442
Logger: Agent 66
Agent 78:
You've been bitchy a lot lately. It's fine if you like BDSM and all, but I don't understand how it's cute. You're a huge ditz at times. Oh wait. Correction: All the time.
Bureau Remembrance Agency in Nerves (B.R.A.I.N.)
Memory Officials
Log 938274920183748443
Logger: Agent 78
Agent 66:
Uh! Like shut up!
Bureau Remembrance Agency in Nerves (B.R.A.I.N.)
Memory Officials
Log 938274920183748444
Logger: Agent 23
Agent 66 and Agent 78:
Shut the fuck up. Stop wasting the logs for your stupid conversation—or better yet, just find a goddamn room and fuck each other and get this out of your system. NOBODY CARES ABOUT WHAT YOU TWO SAY TO EACH OTHER.
Dear Luke,
We're baaaaaaack…
Easy-Going Conscious
Dear Luke,
Sigh, yeah, whatever. Am I the only one seeing the PILE OF PAPERS we have to do?! What the hell are Emergency Aids for if they don't do the paperwork?! Oh my god! Look at all these problems? And who is this rogue agent? Why has no one sent officials for them? The Top 10 are not communicating? No messages? WHO IS THE VOICE? Oh my god! It's going to take us forever to finish this! What the hell? When did you start flirting with Rick?! Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god! STOP SLEEPING DAMN IT.
Wrecked-Up Conscious
Dear Wrecked-Up Conscious,
Nice to see you panic like you used to, love.
Easy-Going Conscious
Dear Easy-Going Conscious,
No time for flirting! We have work to do!
Wrecked-Up Conscious
Luke Phillips
9940 Nob Hill Lane
Sunrise, FL 33351
Dear Taylor,
The anime convention seems to be pretty hectic and especially when you were talking on your cell phone. I don't know much about anime, but I have watched a few shows whenever it airs on Toonami on Cartoon Network. I remember watching this one about… some dog-person thing… White haired? I forgot. Really late at night though.
Anyways, my favorite color is purple solely for the reason that when I was little, my mother used to make my tapioca pudding purple with food coloring. So, for the longest time, I always thought tapioca pudding was purple—and I loved tapioca pudding. It was until I was at the supermarket when I saw tapioca pudding and it wasn't purple that I was shocked and devastated.
Actually… now that I look at my reasoning… That makes no sense, does it? Well, I suppose I like purple because it reminds me of purple tapioca pudding and I love tapioca pudding; thus, I like purple. There.
No, Taylor. You sticking your fingers between my toes would not be a turn-on. I would feel weird. And unfortunately for you, but yes… I do actually like hard-boiled eggs.
Things here are going pretty fine, but on Saturday—when you'll be coming back—my mother has managed to schedule a protest on Saturday against the Publix sushi man, Mr. Hank Lawler, on his unsanitary habit, which has yet to be confirmed, of not washing his hands. Yes. You read right. We're on a protest to make a guy wash his hands.
Sometimes I hate my life.
So, if you come back, don't go to my house. Just go to the Publix on Nob Hill Road and you'll see us outside with picket signs and everything. And if you hear people shouting, "Take some time to wash your grime," that was my cousin's creative creation.
With love,
Luke
WHO KNEW?
Friday, February 19, 2007
The phrase "United States of America" is camouflaged within the lapel of Benjamin Franklin's jacket on the newer one-hundred-dollar bill. Go ahead. Look for it. I dare you.
From the desk of Ryan Matthews
Luke! You don't have a hangover!
From the desk Luke Phillips
Haven't had one from two days!
From the desk of Ryan Matthews
And Chris is still going to go out with your cousin!
From the desk of Luke Phillips
Which is still kind of weird!
From the desk of Ryan Matthews
Yeah!
From the desk of Luke Phillips
Okay. I'm done.
From the desk of Ryan Matthews
See you at lunch.
POST-IT NOTE FROM VANCE:
I'm going out to dinner!
POST-IT NOTE FROM VANCE:
It's not a date.
POST-IT NOTE FROM VANCE:
Two men can't go to dinner?
POST-IT NOTE FROM VANCE:
But he did not say date!
POST-IT NOTE FROM VANCE:
LIES!
POST-IT NOTE FROM VANCE:
Hello. My name is Luke and I am a liar.
POST-IT NOTE FROM VANCE:
LIAR
Dear Luke,
It seems Vance is annoyed with your teasing about his date with Chris. Did he honestly just think it was a dinner? Ah… Silly boy, always naïve. Anyways, WUC and I are slowly getting the paperwork done and we're slowly trying to fix the discord going on in here. We've sent officials out to find that rogue agent and we're trying to break into the headquarters of the Top 10. They're too quiet and if WUC and EGC don't know what's going on in here, things go bad. We're a bit more aware of the sectors now, so we can control this place like we are inclined to do.
But enough of the boring serious stuff. I hear you have a little date with Rick. Does he realize you're still with Taylor? I mean… I guess the whole "gay player" idea wasn't exactly a good idea (failed miserably and even caused a meltdown), but… You're still dating Taylor. Hmm… Rick changed.
…Nice.
Easy-Going Conscious
Dear Luke,
Do you want to kill me? Do you seriously want me to die? Why are you going to date Rick if you're dating Taylor? Why is he ALLOWING you to date him KNOWING you're dating Taylor? Why date him the DAY before Taylor is coming back? I don't understand you.
Nor do I understand what Vance's sexuality actually is…
But I digress…
Stop doing this to yourself, Luke. You know what happens.
Wrecked-Up Conscious
THE VOICE:
Luke,
He's sitting next to you eating candy and all you can think about is how you love sitting right next to him.
POST-IT NOTE FROM VANCE:
Luke… He tried to kiss me.
POST-IT NOTE FROM VANCE:
Am I gay?
WHO KNEW?
Saturday, February 20, 2007
In Pacific Grove, molesting butterflies can result in a $500 fine. Okay… Who is molesting the butterflies?! You sickos!
POST-IT NOTE FROM VANCE:
TAKE SOME TIME TO WASH YOUR GRIME!
Bureau Remembrance Agency in Nerves (B.R.A.I.N.)
Memory Officials
Log 938274920183748445
Logger: Agent 23
Well, here it is… The protest. There's about fifty or so people out of the Publix and Luke and Vance are part of the crowd. Vance is holding up his picket sign, shouting his phrase, "TAKE SOME TIME TO WASH YOUR GRIME!"
Diane is walking around in circles with other people, all signs having something to do with soap and/or hands. There are some people shouting some facts about hygiene and food poisoning, scaring the crap out of the old people. It's Saturday… the day all the elderly go to the supermarket early in the morning for the specials.
Luke just found Rick, who volunteered only because his mother was helping Diane out.
Conversation shall now be recorded:
"Are you ready to make a difference, Luke?"
"I'm ready to die when Mr. Lawler sees me."
"Luke! Luke! Luke! Over here!"
Oh? What's this?
Rick and Luke look over to their right, trying to find the voice.
Oh my god.
"Taylor?"
"Yeah! Hey! Wow, you were actually serious about the whole protesting on hands, weren't you?"
"Uh… ye-yeah." Luke is a little nervous.
"And—" Taylor notices Rick and observes him for a moment. "Hello."
"Hello."
"Oh, uh, Taylor… This is Rick. Rick, this… is Taylor."
They both stare at each other and at once, "Nice to meet you."
Oh shiiiiiit…
End of log.
Bureau Remembrance Agency in Nerves (B.R.A.I.N.)
Memory Officials
Log 938274920183748446
Logger: Agent 78
Oh my god! Can I do it? Please? Please? Please? THANK YOU!
Like… What will happen next? Will Taylor and Rick go into a cat fight all-out over Luke? Will Chris reappear in Vance's life and totally change everything Vance thought of himself? Will the rogue agent be found? Will The Voice be explained? Who is the Top 10?
Tee-hee… God, I love that!
End of log.
linebreakertherearepineapplesbeingthrownagainsttheirwillatbakeriesbecausenoonewilleatthestupidgreeneggsandhamyousuck
MMPP: Okay, so, uh... Yeah... Next chapter will bring on the routine funny-funny since it's going to be your comedic Best Friend vs. Boyfriend action. And don't we all love that?
Review Columnist Thingy:
Kazza2085: Yeah... Alec is a bit of a spoilsport, but oh well. His job is just to make sure Luke doesn't turn into a complete whore... And Taylor as an anime character? ...Wow.
Switch: Yeah... I am an anime fan myself and what's funny is that I was in a banana costume at one of the anime conventions. People ambushed me for photos... O.o
uggabugga: Luke shouldn't have been messing with Rick, but at the same time, Luke also doesn't know what he wants, so he's just playing until he can finally get serious.
Esquirella: I don't mean to torture you all! Oh, and I am so terribly sorry but I haven't been reading anything here since the year I've been absent, but rest assured... You'll see a review (a few maybe?) from me on little Manny. I hope you've been treating him well while I've been gone...
yayfulness is love: You might have been high when you wrote your last review... yes... But oh well. And Rick does kick ass.
EvertheCrazyCynic: Yes! Vance was VERY enthuiastic about the... ORGY OF ALL TIME! I don't know, it's just... one hell of a line, isn't it?
Rachizzle: I was too lazy to type your entire too-lazy-to-sign-in s/n... Because... well... I don't know. I just was. XD It's four in the morning! Anyways, you'll be getting a hell of a lot of Taylor now...
Kaw: Yup. Wet dreams are the result of passionate affairs between your consciouses. Vance is confused. Poor little Vance... And Alec SHOULD have done that, shouldn't he?! If Paris Hilton can make off money from sex tapes, then Rick and Luke would make it too!
Autumn Reflections: Don't hurt yourself while reading my line breakers... And EGC and WUC will return to their wonderful selves very soon.
Midnights Scream: It's a bit hard for Luke to decide between people, especially on love since Luke was never really good with love. So, it's not as easy as you think... but... he'll figure it out.
Pundit: Yeah. He doesn't deserve Rick. But he'll earn him.
Suteki Kage: Dear... I think fp(dot)com cut off your review again...
Kirri: ...-watches you think-...
Validity: I'm happy you're addicted to the story and almost everything about it! Thanks for reviewing!
Yami Wah: Wow... J. Moriarty lives on your friend's street? That is wicked awesome! If I knew her, I'd probably like.. be borderline stalker. XD
Amid: lol... Don't! Don't stop obsessing! I like people obsessing because then I feel loved and then I update faster to satisfy those who love me. So... It's good!
kupinn: Thank you. And yeah, I haven't exactly been faithful to this story, but I'm going to try better this year.
Kasee Lara: Thank you! Yes... I've never been afraid of putting my lovable protaganists (who aren't really so) in trouble because I believe it gets the reader for involved and interested.
dreamerdoll: Yeah, the layout is cool but frustrating at the same time, I understand. But there's only so much I can detail with letters, y'know?
Dexav Kabaro: Thank you! And... I guess it's like a soap opera...
a.z.g.n.: I don't even need to start a poll, man... People are voting anyway. I just keep reading and going, "Well, okay... another point for Rick/Taylor..."
xSpotlightxNoxMorex: (Ch1) Um... No, I'm sorry we cannot have sex in an oven... I am known to explode ovens (wink wink) and I find it would be dangerous for us. (Ch2 - Ch10) Wow... I have never felt so loved... and worshipped... and... obsessed over... and... like... Thank you!! I have to decline the proposal... For I am a single-gal, forever and always. But I thank you for all your love!
xX bleu x fey Xx: Thank you! And Yeah, Luke shouldn't have messed with Rick, but Luke is also confused... So, give him a little break... not that he deserves it, but you know you want to give it to him anyways.
Nostalgique Tournaments: (Ch1 - Ch10) I really don't mind if you review every chapter as long as they are amusing or worth of reading. If it's like "I love" ten times in a row, then I get a little annoyed. And I won't abandon this story. Trust me.
magalina: Thank you! And the decision is hard, but you'll find out who you want Luke to be with! And I'll keep writing, don't worry!
Meer de Sterne: You're welcome for making you cry and letting your irritating dry contacts bother you no more then! Oh, you wouldn't shoot yourself with Agent 78 in your head... Believe me, you grow onto him after awhile...
Momoro: Thank you!
Nara Occult: Thank you. It was supposed to be an updation priority, but then I kept cheating on this story with other stories of mine on other accounts and kind of... kept procrastinating, but no more.. I promise to be a good girl this time. x3
Liviania: Well, congratulations... Thanks to you and no one else, I realized that you updated an EXACT year since I last updated (but I didn't make it and I updated a few hours late.. oh poo), which made me go, "Oh snap! I have to update!" So thank you, dearie, for reminding me of why I loved writing this story in the first place.
I promise I won't abandon this story, so panicking, okay?
I'll be a good girl this time and stick with the plans.
Review please.
Cheers -Steph