May 18th 2006
Wasn't it?

It was you all along,
Wasn't it?
You were always there
Before I even knew you existed.
How could I,
So simple a child,
Ever comprehend
The evil you bred?
The death you brought?
But it was you all along,
Wasn't it?

I was nine years old.
A family friend.
They made such a fuss.
I didn't understand.
I knew there was a boy,
Disapproval,
Something wrong.
Big mistake, they said,
When they thought I was asleep.
"She's in trouble,"
My mother told me.
Then it ended.
It was you,
Wasn't it?

I was twelve years old.
My classmate was two months late
Getting back to school from summer.
She said she'd been to Paris.
Others swore they'd seen her at the mall.
The teachers pursed their lips.
She'd always been a bit too mature.
It was you,
Wasn't it?

I roam the halls,
Laughing.
The others laugh, too.
It's all supposed to be gold!
Was I really that blind?
Yes, they tell me.
They don't mean to hurt me –
They thought I knew.
Or did they just think I should know?
Every year, they say.
It's you.

It was you all along,
Wasn't it?