Title: The Adventures of xTACY and Captain Chuckles
Author: Ice1taru
Disclaimer: I do not claim ownership of anything that is not mine… I did come up with this story, however, so…
Rated: T
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Chapter One
xTACY is your average teenage girl. She has red hair, gray eyes, and is 5'7. She is seventeen years old and likes to shop, hang out with her friends, and draw. And, oh yeah, she owns a pink hedgehog named Captain Chuckles who can speak. But other than that, she's normal.
The following story takes place in January of 2029.
xTACY is walking to school (with Captain Chuckles in her backpack, of course) when all of a sudden, an unidentified flying object comes and abducts her.
The unidentified flying object takes her to a galaxy far away. As the unidentified flying object is nearing it's home planet, xTACY looks out the window and catches a glimpse of beautiful rolling hills. However, these are not ordinary hills. They somehow look different from the hills on earth; these are blue and yellow, and some are even purple. The clouds are sheer orange and some are solid geometric shapes like triangles, squares, trapezoids, and even right circular cylinders. xTACY gasps as the unidentified flying object lands on a launching pad in the shape of an apple. Yes, an apple. xTACY hates apples.
Two aliens, who surprisingly look like humans, escort xTACY and Captain Chuckles out of the unidentified flying object. xTACY is scared and wants to go home.
xTACY: (whispering to Captain Chuckles, who she is now carrying in her arms) I'm scared and I wanna go home.
Captain Chuckles: (nodding in agreement)
xTACY and Captain Chuckles are taken to the queen of BATCH TEXT WOW NY, which is the name of the planet.
Queen: You…?
xTACY: (looking around) Who…? Me?
Queen: Yes, you…? You are here for a reason?
xTACY: Umm, I don't know, AM I here for a reason?
Queen: No, you…? You are here for a reason?
xTACY: I don't know. Am I? Are you asking me or telling me? (annoyed)
One of the aliens that escorted xTACY and Captain Knuckles to the queen pokes xTACY with what looks like a baton. All of the queen's guards have this baton-like thing.
xTACY: Hey! Watch it!
His/Her/It's name is Fat Light.
Fat Light: Do not be rude to the queen.
xTACY: I'm serious. I don't know if she is asking me or telling me.
Fat Light: She is telling you.
xTACY: But she sounds like she's asking me.
Fat Light: The queen says everything in the form of a question.
xTACY: Why…?
Fat Light: Because…
xTACY: Because…?
Fat Light: The queen has a severe psychological disorder.
xTACY: …
Fat Light: She is afraid of ever being wrong. In order to eliminate her chances of EVER sounding incorrect, she always says everything in the form of a question. That way, she is never, ever, EVER wrong.
xTACY: …
Fat Light: …
Captain Chuckles: …
xTACY: …
Fat Light: …
Captain Chuckles: …
xTACY: …
Fat Light: …
Captain Chuckles: …
xTACY: (bursts out laughing)
The other alien that escorted xTACY and Captain Chuckles to the queen is named Mush.
Mush: Do not mock the queen.
xTACY: (still laughing because she can't help it)
Mush: Do not mock the queen…!
xTACY: (still laughing)
Mush: Do not mock the queen! Do not mock the queen! Do not mock the queen! Do not mock the queen! Do not mock the queen! Do not mock the queen! Do not mock the queen! Do not mock the queen! Do not mock the queen! Do not mock the queen!
xTACY: (finally calms down) Sorry.
Fat Light: You damn well better be.
xTACY: (rolls her eyes) Anyways…
Queen: Anyways? You have been brought here for a reason?
xTACY: Uh huh…wait. (looks at Fat Light) NOW is she telling me or asking me?
Fat Light: She's telling you, dammit.
xTACY: But how do I know when she's asking me a question and when she's making a statement? It all sounds the same to me.
Fat Light: …Well. It depends on her tone of voice, I guess. (shrugs) You'll figure it out eventually, I'm sure.
xTACY: (sighs exasperatedly)
Mush: (pokes xTACY with the baton-like thing)
xTACY: What the hell?! (glares at Mush)
Mush: (angry voice) Do not mock the queen!
xTACY: How did you know I was mocking the queen? I could've been mocking you, for all you know!
Mush: (glares at xTACY)
xTACY: (glares at Mush)
Queen: (sick of being ignored) I AM THE QUEEN, DAMMIT?! LISTEN TO ME, DAMMIT?! YOU HAVE BEEN BROUGHT HERE FOR A REASON?! YOU MUST SAVE OUR PLANET FROM OUR WORST ENEMY!?! YOU MUST--
xTACY: Wait a minute… you want me to save you from something? I'm no hero… In fact, I'm kind of a coward… (thinking about how much of a coward she is)
Queen: It is too late? You have been chosen? It is your destiny? Besides, we are helpless without you? You must help?
xTACY: What do you mean, chosen? How was I chosen?
Queen: My expert team of scientists have been researching you for awhile? They have discovered that if we remove you from earth and you DO die, no earthlings will be affected?
xTACY: Wait a minute. Let me get this straight… (starting to get mad) Are you saying that if I die, no one will miss me?
Captain Chuckles: (-.-)
Queen: Well, yes? That's what our research shows…?
xTACY: (pouting) That's not true.
Queen: Yeah, whatever? (cheerfully) So.. Will you help us? If you don't, there are consequences…? (evil smile)
xTACY: (O.O') Consequences? What kind of consequences?
Queen: Well, for one thing, I won't give you back this thing that my guards stole from your bag. (holds up plastic bag with a CD in it)
xTACY: What the hell is that? (screams so loud that everyone jumps) My Cocoa Kisses CD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Give it back! Give it back! Give it back! (looks like she's going to cry) Give it back, dammit!
Cocoa Kisses is xTACY's favorite gangster rapper. He is sweet, hot, sensitive, funny, creative, rich, AND a bad-ass. What more could a girl ask for? Even though xTACY does not know him, she feels that he is PERFECT and wishes that someday Cocoa Kisses will magically fall in love with her and they will live happily ever after. Unfortunately, Cocoa Kisses is sixteen years older than xTACY; and therefore could not care less about her and again, they have never met in real life and probably never will, so, this fantasy cannot come true. Sorry, xTACY. (-.-)
xTACY takes her Cocoa Kisses CD with her everywhere she goes. EVERYWHERE.
Queen: Well? I didn't realize this was so important to you? (evil laugh) Now, will you help us or not?
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AN: I guess we'll stop here for now… this story sounded funnier in my head. Really, it did… It'll get better, I promise. And, the chapters will get longer as time goes on…