And as for me?
I never expected to lose you, and that is why I ran away.
It is all well and good for Lilith to preach her greyness, the dedication to self amongst all the black and white.
There are problems, though.
I'm not strong enough to withstand all of Hell, and I've already fallen from Heaven.
Do you see?
When I'm with you—when I'm with you there is no Heaven and Hell.
There is only us, us and our laughter, our tangled wings, only us.
And when I'm not with you—there is only Hell, there is only Heaven.
And because of you, I can't belong in either of them.
It's not your fault.
I don't even remember Heaven, and unable to remember God, I may have fit too well into Hell.
When I found you I didn't find God, but I found goodness—I found out why I don't
belong in Hell, either.
Do you see? The problem isn't you, it isn't me, it's us.
I have always operated independent of Lucifer, like Lilith, but, like Lilith, he keeps me close at hand.
And when I'm with you, I'm too far away for his liking.
And you know just what Lucifer can do.
When I'm with you, the angels must know you're gone.
I fell from Heaven, and even if I can't remember my sin, I can imagine the angels harbor no good will toward me.
There is no Heaven or Hell when I'm with you.
But they are still there—around us and in us.
And I'm sorry—I am so sorry.
I didn't mean to leave you like this, to ever leave you.
I am hunted and I will not let them hunt you.
I love you.
"You've been looking at that damn stuff for a while. What's in there, anyway?"
Lilith looked up from the shallow bowl. It was mainly filled with blood. Virgin blood. "Pet, you don't want to know."
Redemption sighed, flexing her wings. She'd spent days trying to locate Lilith through a network of lilin demons and now had just spent an hour in a cramped cave while Lilith looked into a shallow bowl and tried to divine the future and interpret the past.
"Did you find out anything?" she asked, unable to keep the anxiety out of her voice. "About Chaos?"
Lilith considered the question, glancing back down into her bowl of virgin's blood. "No," she said after a while. "Not anything you didn't already know."