Springing up I gasp for air
Back down again I go
In the distance was the sound of ocean waves crashing upon an isolated beach. Devin saw people walking on the beach and the sky was filled with bright sunlight. But as he stepped onto the scene gray clouds covered the bright sun. The weather turned cold and damp. Everyone turned to look at him and with anger blazing in their eyes they turned on him. They chased him to the deep dark waves and pushed him in. He found himself drowning and no one offering to help. Instead they stood watching and laughing at his pitiful antics to get out of the choppy waters. He was drowning slowly."Mr. Keaton? Mr. Keaton, here's your medicine," a woman's voice came from somewhere in the distance
Devin opened his eyes with beads of sweat clinging to his forehead.
Just a dream, it was just a dream, he said to himself, breathing heavily, as he realized that he wasn't drowning in the ocean but instead laying in the bed at the hospital.
He looked up at the nurse standing before him.
"Are you alright sir?" she asked.
"I…I guess," he said taking the two pills and swallowing them down with the cup of water the nurse handed him.
"Dr. Ian will be in to see you in a few minutes," the nurse smiled as she exited the room.
Devin only nodded to her and then turned glanced out the window. He sighed heavily and tried to escape, through his mind, from this place. He felt as if he was going to go mad. So much silence, so much grief, so much loneliness…so much everything. The days were turning into weeks now and everything seemed to be taking on a rapid speed.
There was a longing on the inside of Devin, a longing for companionship from someone, anyone. He had never felt so alone and helpless, like a little child without its parents there to hold its hand.
Sadly, he had never had any real friends, no companions, except for Mark. As a little boy Devin had been a loner, never wanting to be around a lot of people at one time, never talking very much. He just existed. As long as he did what he was told and never spoke out his parents treated him like a prince. But if he spoke out his beliefs they would tell him he was wrong and that they didn't want to hear another word out of him. Sometimes he would be abused by his father simply for questioning his parents' beliefs.
Devin could remember wanting to escape his parents, not to mention his life. At times he would feel ungrateful and utterly horrible when he would say to himself:
I can't wait to get out of here, or I can't stand my parents any longer.
But now he felt such resentment towards his parents and at the same time realized he was being like they were being towards him. It was so hard to not hate them.
Well I did leave them but I had to get away from there, he said trying to push away the guiltiness he felt for resenting them.
"Good evening Devin," Dr. Ian said as he entered the room, interrupting Devin's thoughts.
Devin didn't reply but kept his gaze directed out the window. Dr. Ian pulled a chair up next to the bed and cleared his throat. Devin, trying to imagine this horrible nightmare away, turned his gaze upon the doctor.
"How are you feeling?" Dr. Ian asked.
"Wonderful," Devin said sarcastically.
The doctor lowered his eyes as if offended. Devin sighed and felt bad for coming off as such a jerk.
"I'm sorry Dr. Ian, it's just…." his voice trailed off.
"I understand," Dr. Ian said.
"So have you decided anything about the Lighthouse home I suggested?" Dr. Ian asked.
"Yeah, I've thought about it," Devin said.
"And?" Dr. Ian asked.
Devin sighed and closed his eyes. He knew that he had no choice really. There was no one that would take him in around here so this Lighthouse place seemed to be his only resort. He hated the thoughts of having to leave Bogart to move to Charleston, South Carolina where the home was located. He hated the thoughts of leaving his acting job, his apartment, everything. But he was back up against the wall so he had to do what he had to do.
"I'll…go," he finally said.
"I think it's for the best," Dr. Ian said smiling.
"I don't know how I'm going to get there though," Devin said.
"Well your in luck there. My nephew, Jimmy, works at the Lighthouse and he's here in town to visit his parents but he's going back to South Caroline next week.
If you'd like I could talk to him about you riding back down with him. It would save you all the trouble of having to take a bus. And besides, soon you will not be in the condition to travel alone," Dr. Ian said.
"I hate to ask that of him. I mean I can't pay him and…I don't even know him," Devin said.
"I don't think he'll mind. Jimmy's just not like that," Dr. Ian said.
"Okay, I'd appreciate it very much," Devin said, trying to sound grateful.
This is a nightmare, he thought to himself.
I've got to wake up. Wake up, wake up…
To be continued...