Dark,
so dark
I can see my
soul
reflected back
by mirror walls
broken and distorted
so I come back ugly

Ugly like Mamma says
Ugly like my half-digested
dinner of lies and poison
fed to me by Daddy
like some gruesome bird

Stone is cold beneath
my bruises
soothing the hurt
cleansing the ugly
with kerosene
and Mamma's cigarettes

It's so dark,
dark in the closet
where they have
locked me
Curled in the corner
breathing in smoke
and the smell of
barbeque
that drift in on lazy
summer breezes

Serenity inside my closet
Hell's just outside the door.
Eyes drooping,
body shaking,
Take deep breathes of
chaotic serenity

Burning through the hate
and hurt
Eyes closed,
body cold,
slow and shallow
breathing in
of
Toxic Serenity

Curled in a ball
sleeping, living, crying, dieing
in the
dark