Chapter three- Alice was a little lamb

I peered at grimy school mirror thoughtfully.

Real life isn't quite like books or films. The misfits aren't all that beautiful beneath their permanent scowls, the ugly people aren't really that ugly and not all blondes are stupid.

In reality green eyes are usually bordering on hazel or blue and chocolate coloured hair dye turns out to be mousy, no matter how many coats you put on.

(Believe me I know, I found it a devastating lesson to learn.)

But maybe that was why people write books: real life is a bit of a disappointment I suppose.

I looked at myself again. The familiar face wasn't disappointing exactly, but it was painful to look at. Even beneath the cheap make-up and the frown that bordered on a fully blown sneer, my face would always be the carbon copy of someone prettier. It was also a painful reminder of the fact that: that said person was dead.

I blinked at the noise that echoed suddenly in the bathroom and spun around quickly, wondering dimly if the paranoia showed on my face.

I was feeling slightly agitated, it was strange. Like I was nervous, I'm never nervous. I was pretty sure it was because I was meant to be taking a French test at that very minute and was in fact do my art homework in the toilets. But you never know, could be because I had taken too much sugar.

But whatever

No one would notice, anyway. I was still pleasantly invisible to most people in my school even after the little incident with Sabrina and my fist. I didn't break her nose if you wondering.

I don't care, much.

Still, I wouldn't have been upset if it had been a little bit more swollen.

I heaved my arse onto the counter and tucked my legs beneath myself, pulling out the pencil from the coil of hair I had created (rather creatively) that morning. At once my not so chocolate coloured hair fell around my face. I blew at the mousy coloured tendril that flopped pathetically into my eyes. It fell back slowly, gently scraping against my check. I was sure how exactly, but I knew it was mocking me in some way.

I don't usually skip class, well no other class than French. But I was just exercising the right to protest. I was protesting against the mandatory modern language that everyone has to take for GCSE. Also the fact that Jeremy happened to be in that class may have influenced my decision… maybe. I thought it would be better if I gave him a little time to cool off.

I almost regretted what I'd done this morning.

It had really caused me a lot of inconvenience today.
I even missed lunch after seeing him pacing in front of the canteen, I had decided that I had better go and return my overdue library books. I was rather hungry by eighth period. Not that skipping school dinners was such a devastating turn of events in reality, but like a lot of things: theoretically it sounds awful.

And all because of one vengeful little bastard.

I found this all very amusing…until I started to feel sick for lack of food that is.

"…and then he decided that he liked my sister better than me…"

The hysterical voice was cut off as they turned the corner into the bathroom, obviously they had realised they weren't alone.

The silence that followed was rather peaceful in my opinion. But there again I think most silences are rather pleasant. Sadly; I've found that not a lot of people agree with me on this point, in fact they generally start spontaneously bursting into song if they had to endure it for too long. Usually its something sung by Robbie Williams. But that could just be my family when they're plastered. I don't think their fetish with Robbie is entirely healthy to be honest.

"Its Abby right?"

Nicole Michaels glared at me through a mass of wild blonde hair, her face was red and swollen as she tried to burn a hole in my head with only her eyes. And they say people our age don't have any imagination. Hah.

Still, I thought it wise not to correct her on my name. I don't really understand why everyone finds my name so hard to remember in the first place, its not even remotely unusual and who hadn't heard of Alice in wonderland? I'm named after a masterpiece. Through most people I know are illiterate I suppose.

"Alice." corrected her friend, flicking her long curls over her shoulder with a practised gesture.

Finally, recognition.

The friend frowned suddenly, her face still turned to the ceiling, hip stuck out and hair looking suitably windblown. I wondered how long she'd practised to get that poise just right.

"Alice Poppy ?"

Never mind.

My surname happens to be Rose in case your wondering. I happen to quite like my surname maybe I'm related to Axel Rose. But well, he's a jerk so maybe not. Or maybe more so…hmmm, that's depressing.

I rolled my eyes, I really had to stop having conversations with myself. I gave a violent stab at the paper sharply, yep I like art…

"Why don't you go back to class, I'll be fine." Nicole said to the friend, who hesitated. What was her name again?

"But Nicole.." she whined rather reminding me of a toddler.

"Go Katie."

Katie! It had been on the tip of my tongue I swear.

The friend left and at once Nicole appeared next to me, her flawless face cold in the harsh light of the bathroom. I thought she looked rather plastic.

"I'm Stacey's sister" she told me.

I shrugged, was there really any need to justify this with an answer?

"My boyfriend's cheated on me with her."

"I heard."

She scowled and took a step back, looking at me with cold eyes. "That means, your brother; is being cheated on." she drawled mockingly, obviously she thought this was going to make me a bit upset. But if someone wants to talk condescendingly to me, as far as I'm concerned: they can knock themselves out. I just won't listen. This tends to upset them more than me.

"I really hope you're going to bring this intriguing conversation to a thrilling conclusion because unfortunately I have homework to do," I told her flatly, then frowned. "Oh and you're stepping in my personal bubble,"

Nicole started to pout but much to my relief managed to control herself. She inching forward to whisper conspiringly to me. "Listen Abby, you're going to help me and I'll help your brother."

"Personal bubble" I reminded helpfully.

Nicole continued to ignore me.

"Jeremy Morgan is going to become my boyfriend."

Not many people can get a laugh out of me, I happen to reserve that privilege for Ronnie Barker.

But Nicole managed it. Beneath that highlighted blonde mane and spider eyelashes she was a bit of a comedian and the string of ingenious curses that followed only heightened my amusement.

I seriously started to consider Hero-worship.

In the end I decided for a more subtle show of gratitude.

"We don't actual live in a world parallel to not-another-teen-movie, these things just never work out in real live."

Apparently Nicole doesn't appreciate subtlety.

"Listen, Alice." She snapped, "Your brother is completely in love with Stacey, I can keep my brat of a sister faithful and keep your brother's heart intact. But to do that I need Jeremy Morgan."

I shrugged creating a heavy line across my sketch book, "And why would I help you do this? I'm not getting involved in Ben's business."

I stabbed at the book suddenly causing Nicole to flinch.

"Bug" I told her innocently, " a great, big, creepy, peroxide spider."

Nicole tilted her head slowly, her baby blue eyes were narrowed and hardened, shining wickedly. "You're going to get involved because if you don't, Stacey is going to break up with Ben in front of everyone, then she's going to go off with Jack and your brother is going to be a laughing stock. Maybe he'll become depressed, especially if I say a few choice words." She looked thoughtful suddenly, "Hey, I hear severe depression runs in your family."

I turned away from her, slowly closing my sketch book. My nails dug into my palm as I stared up at her coldly, I didn't even stop when I felt blood dribble through the piercing in my skin, I didn't dare. Apparently my hands have a mind of their own when I get a little angry.

I suppose its why I don't like to be angry. I rather dislike bruises and on the knuckles…can you say pain?

"Why do you want Morgan anyway?" Jeremy's surname was foreign on my tongue but it made this conversation easier. Why didn't people warn you about the blondes who weren't stupid? The blondes who were in fact smarter than you and happened to have a mean, manipulative streak in them? I glanced at her head suddenly, peering at the mousy coloured roots. Oh, it was all explained.

"He's used to beat Jack up, it will tear the little bastard up every time he sees us."

You've got to be joking me.

I gave into the urge to roll my eyes.

Nicole had created a cruel web of blackmail and was willing to ruin my brother's life…to make her ex jealous?

The hilarity of it escaped me somehow through: I didn't feel very amused anymore.

"Excuse my ignorance, but why do you need me?"

Nicole lips curled slightly, those white teeth flashing in the sickly yellow light of the school toilets.

Obviously this was her best overly-practised-I've-won-smile.

I thought it made her look constipated.

"And I heard you were smart." she sneered, clapping her hands together. The sound echoed around the room, shattering the silence violently.

I wished I had hid in the library. I doubted she would have ever found me in there. In fact I doubt she even knows where it is. Maybe she doesn't even know we have one, its not unheard of.

"You're going to become Jeremy's friend. Your going to find out his favourite music, films, colour, everything and then you're going to introduce me and I'm going to be perfect for him."

Maybe this wasn't a good time to mention the fact that he was out headhunting for my head at the moment then?

I leaned against the wall, sighing. My head rested against the cool mirror behind me heavily.

This was all so utterly stupid. I dislike stupidity. Its irritating.

Nicole was leaning over the counter and applying a thick coat of cherry-red lip gloss, ignoring me once more as I tried to burn a hole into her head with my eyes. It didn't work any better for me than her.

Life really is a disappointment.

She snapped the tube shut and glanced at me with that constipated look once more. "So, what do you think?"

"Well I know I can't stop you, so I suppose you better go back to your street corner," I said flatly.

Nicole crossed her arms angrily, the constipated look disappearing to be replaced by that glare 'o death which Stacey often adopted in my company. "I'll meet you here tomorrow, Abby."

Hello wonderland?

I shrugged as she walked off. "I don't like rabbits anyway."


I nursed my pride in a tub of Ben and Jerry's later that night. Surprisingly neither Jerry or Ben could offer much support. Not that it stopped me trying.

At seven I was still curled up in front of the TV and was still in the midst of trying to drown my sorrows. Apparently I didn't deal with stress well. Or that's what the headmaster told me when I was caught hiding from my French teacher. He decided not to give me detention, nope "it might upset your delicate condition even more". Instead he made me an appointment to see the councillor.

The fact that it was during my next French consoled me a little.

Liam laughed at me when I told him. I responded by telling him to crawl into a corner and die. He just laughed harder. I guess he didn't realize I was being serious. Ben would have. But he was with Stacey and didn't even ask, too busy trying to keep the airhead bitch queen amused It all just made me feel bad really.

Then Alena decided to make dinner.

That was even worse.

Then Jeremy turned up.

And that was just plain cruel. I must have committed some horrible crime in a past life, otherwise God is a sadistic bastard in all his bodiless, old man-ish glory. Yeah, you, in the clouds…I know what you're doing.

I sighed and ignored my aunt's call to table, I really had to stop talking to myself; this was getting to be slightly scary.

"Alice! Get your arse over here now, before I tell your father you skipped French again."

I thought that, this sentence defeated its purpose since my father was stood next to my aunt while she bellowed this threat. But well, maybe not.

I could hear the rest of my family through the thin walls. My family are like cats, they disappear a lot. But as soon as dinner is even thought of they appear with there best smiles on. Even my father had turned up. Since Liam is off to university next year, he had decided to try and have a family dinner each evening. I thought this was a good idea too, until I realised that family dinner meant food cooked by one of the family and that Stacey and now Jeremy counted as family.

I glared down at the half empty tub of ice cream.

"Thanks for nothing"

Then I proceeded into the kitchen where everyone had gathered. As hot air rushed to envelope me as I opened the door I was suddenly reminded of a lamb to slaughter.

I think must have been to do with the six pairs of rather fiery eyes that turned to glare at me.

Lamb, meet butchers.

Butchers meet Lamb also known as Abby, Adele and Alice.

"Alice" said six strained voices.

I was dead. Stacey face had changed slowly to the glare o' death. I guess Nicole was going through with this after all. Sad that I had yet to think of a way out this yet…

I should start a diary, my life was just too complicated for me to remember all this stuff and besides I had to write down my therapist appointment.

"Any more ice cream?" I asked weakly.


Chapter three. Humour? well not much, but whatever. Its been a while since lastupdate, and i will try to update every week, but i am actually doing course work at the moment so sorry if i'm random.