Something really funny happened in Topeka, Kansas
After all, a school-board member said they were the laughingstock of the nation
Intelligent design so intellectually advanced
So great for education that God had to laugh
Soon we'll be learning the Earth is flat
A-HAH, A-HAH, A-HAH, A-HAH

Evolution is just a theory, evidently not divine
Six to four the school-board voted to plant this in kids' minds
Because we're all so complicated that a God must've helped us out
And made sure that we're simple enough to have something to laugh about

They did it in the name of science!
A-HAH, A-HAH, A-HAH
No more "dogmatic Darwin!"
A-HAH, A-HAH, A-HAH
Something really funny did happen in Topeka, Kansas
So funny I still hold my head in anguish and have lost all of my senses

Topeka, Kansas, you hilarious fool letting the Bible back in schools
All of our past and development stand violable to your ridicule
Because we had a helping hand, supposedly
So maybe God rested on the seventh day
And maybe we never evolved from Apes
So this really is Scopes-Monkey all over again

Topeka, Kansas, I'm bawling; I'm shedding tears for you
All of our knowledge and all our theories laughed away with you
A-HAH, A-HAH, A-HAH, go the Kansas educational charlatans
Even our own President says what a contribution!

Six of those Kansas school-board members, they altered history with their smiles
Hopefully this time it won't take centuries to disprove these ludicrous trials
Something really funny happened in Topeka, Kansas:
America threw away its mind for a fantasy instead.

"'This is a sad day, not only for Kansas kids, but for Kansas,' said Janet Waugh, who voted against the new standards. 'We're becoming a laughingstock, not only of the nation but of the world.'"