Why'd you scream?

Why'd you scream so loud?

Did it feel good?

Once it took flight from the tips of your lips,

Did you want to kiss it some more?

I understand the feeling.

More often than not, I can only imagine

The relief if I cried all my tears,

The lightness if I poured all my anger and frustration out

Of my lips.

Otherwise,

It's all inside me.

And it's not supposed to be there.

At least, it's never been there before,

And I don't know how to deal with it

But start again the vicious cycle of creating reasons to cry,

And then trying my hardest to hold the tears back.

Did I love torturing myself?

You don't know what you'd done,

But this is what you did to me.

You angered me so.

I had only tried the crime of loving you,

And you gave me the prize of bars and keys and

Cold, stone floor.

With my help,

Together we built a prison for me.

You were afraid to trust,

And unknowingly, I submitted to your way.

Always rather not risk anything,

But be contented hiding away and living your whole life

That way.

I hated the world the way you did,

And still managed to convince myself I hated it because of reasons

I came up with.

I told myself

Bravery was for fools.

Unknowingly, it was all because of you.

You stirred up in me an anger I still can't describe yet,

Because I don't try to remember it.

I only shoved an attitude up your face

Because it was time for you to listen to me.

And surprisingly, you had not much of a reaction,

You were probably not listening to me again.

And today, you screamed.

How did it feel, not being listened to for so long?

Reduced to begging for an audience.

You were ignored, like a mad woman,

Like air.

I only know too well how it felt.

How did it feel, to only give and no one noticed?

I knew it wasn't what you wanted to hear,

Yet I said it without any hesitation

As if it wasn't important.

I was in for it.

I knew more than anyone that one day you'd burst,

That one day you'd be like me – one day would come the last straw.

One day you'd have enough.

One day you'd want someone hurt real badly,

Probably that would ease your own pain.

All it would take was one day.

And that day came for you.

You broke when I wasn't even expecting it.

When your scream soared

You could have screamed till all your voice

Left your throat.

I shook.

I wanted to cry.

I was scared.

And then a slightly pleasant thought entered my mind.

A thought which I held on to because it was my only happiness then,

My only reassurance.

The only thing that would keep me from crying.

How it had been my goal

To let you experience it in your own body,

The anger and frustration, the loneliness and misery

That you caused me to feel.

One day I'd have my revenge,

And that day has come…

Good. Feel that.

Burst your skull with your rage.

And now, I can only cry,

Because of how stupid you are.