AN: This story is probably the most twisted thing I have ever written! LOL, but it's hilarious I think. Mandy and I came up with it at lunch one day, when I started making fun of all the little dolls on TV that go poop or pee. Yes, I know it's really, REALLY stupid but what can I say? But, get on with the fic already! Go and read! NOW! What are you waiting for?
What I am about to tell you may shock and even scare you out of your small skulls. This, my little friend, is the legend of the infamous Constipated Carol doll. Yes, the same doll that started the revolution on spoof dolls like Dierhea Diane and Spit-Up Sally. The players were Mandy Drake and Xodiac aka Xoe Moon, and THIS is their story...
Far from the reaches of the NORMAL human mind, there existed two diabolical mad scientists, typical of every odd story. Deep in their lair located in the unmerciful lands of North Florida, the scientists Mandy and Xoe went to work on their treacherous plans.
Through many grueling weeks, the experimentations continued as the deadly pair experimented on everything from lawn flamingos to pink crayons. Screams of terror could be heard in their laboratory as they struggled to create the perfect doll... Constipated Carol.
Complete with her own can of prunes and a few laxitives, Constipated Carol was the perfect companion. She came with a set of mini-newspapers and magazines and even her own porcelin toilet. She even had a hole in her ass just to make sure that when those laxatives were used, there weren't any deadly explosions. The psychos' struggle was complete... that is except for one element.
"Our struggle is complete...that is except for ONE element."
"*gasp* How did you know?"
"Oh, it's simple. I just read what the Writer wrote. Simple as pie. Even you could do it Xoe!"
"Well...I'll try but I'm still not quite sure if I can yet. But, Mandy, what is this one element we need?"
"Why [evil music] it's the thing all dolls need! Everyone needs one of these! It's the most important element in selling our wonderous product!"
Already bored with Mandy's speech, Xoe was casually filing her nails, "Just get to the point already."
"A commercial! What a grand idea! I've already got some lyrics in my head! Just you wait and see!"
This continued to go on until finally after many hours of waiting, Xoe finally emerged from her private room in the back of the lab. Mandy stood up to greet her as Xoe hummed a few notes in a harmonica...
Constipated Carol, she'll make you smile
She hasn't pooped in quite a long while
She comes with her own, can of prunes
And a hole in her ass, just for you!
Come on boys!"
"I LOVE IT! I absolutely love it Xoe! It's perfect for our scheme!"
"Um, Mandy, what IS our scheme anyway?"
"Well...I'll get back to you on that one, but no matter! We've done it! We've created a doll more annoying than the ones on TV! We've done it!"
"I think this calls for the Happy Dance! Do the Happy Dance! *starts moving her fingers from side to side humming "The Hussle"*"
So that my friends is how the legend of Constipated Carol got started and how it lived on in the hearts of millions of young boys forever. This doll as well as many others from M&X productions caused Mandy and Xoe to earn billions, and today, after spending most of that money on impulse items such as antlers and candles, the two mad scientists are happily working their asses off at a high acheiving middle school, prepared to shoot anyone who crosses their path...