("Spiritual Camp" by Christian Death vs. Mount Sims comes on. The lights flash random colors at random times, giving the impression of a dance club/rave. Four figures dressed in black come into view as the stage lights go up a bit. They are dancing wildly. A single table sits in the back corner of the stage with three chairs around it. NELA walks across the stage from stage right, turns the farthest chair to the audience and sits. The music fades to a dull thump as NELA begins talking.)

NELA (expressing her internal monologue)

Maybe I shouldn't have talked to her that day. No. What was the first rule Adry told you? Don't doubt yourself. Okay, I'm not doubting myself. I made the right decision. I was tired of being invisible. Tired of being bumped into and not getting a sorry cause kids don't have the wherewithal to talk to someone they don't see. Kathyana explained that to me. I was an okay student with two good friends and an average appearance. Do you understand what that will get you? Not very much. Maybe a good word from a teacher. About a week ago I was mulling over all this when the reigning groups came in the cafeteria. The whole place erupted into whispers of hope and fear. Adry and Schuylar moved in mass with their huge group. The preps. The populars. The perfects. That's what everyone called them. Then there was Kathyana and Jadyn who stormed into the cafeteria—leaders of an army. Which to the majority of the school, they were. An army of freaks, goths, punks, weirdoes. At that moment it hit me. The two most revered groups in the school. Of course, they hated each other. I could get advice from both groups and never have the other know. My friends were scared by my plan that didn't stop me from believing in its genius. So, here I am. In Rank, the haunt of Kathyana and Jadyn. Waiting to meet up the two for the first time. I hope I'm as ingenious as I thought.

One of the figures breaks from the dancing mass. They take off their black hooded sweatshirt to reveal it is KATHYANA. She throws the sweat shirt to the side and sits at the table.)

KATHYANA (bitingly)

If it isn't the sheep. Bah bah, babe. How you like our hell hole? Isn't it just sexified? (laughing)


Um. Its cool. I...I've never been to a nightclub.


Okay. Rule one, Cookie Cuter: unless asked straight out, don't admit to what you've never done. Don't claim to be experienced in what you're not but don't ever admit to ignorance.




And I'm here with you...why?


'Cause I asked you to help me.


Look sheepy. You need to chill out with this meek crap 'cause I get easily annoyed and it's fucking with me. So, you got something to say, announce the shit like you got some purpose.

NELA (taking a deep breath and closing her eyes with concentration. Begins speaking with her eyes still closed)

I'm sick and tired of everyone ignoring me 'cause I don't stand out and I was hoping to get your help cause everyone knows you. (Slowly opening her eyes as if she's about to get hit in the face)

KATHYANA (laughing)

Oh man! That's rich. Cookie Cutter is sick of being who she is and seeks the freaks. (turning to the dancing group) Jadyn! Jadyn, come hear this.

(Another figure moves from the group and takes off their black sweatshirt. It is JADYN. He sits in the chair across from NELA, pecking KATHYANA on the lips before he does so.)

JADYN (staring at NELA with laughter)

Where are you gumdrop buttons, Cookie?


Now repeat that shit. Nice and slow so Jadyn hear you.


I'm tired of everyone ignoring me. I don't stand out. I was hoping that you and your friends could help me.

JADYN (gasping with laughter)

Cookie. Cookie dear, please tell me you're not hoping to join our gorgeous little band of heathens—

NELA (angry)

No! I—


Woah. Calm down. Rule two: don't let anyone see your buttons

JADYN (giggling)

Especially, if their making you angry.

KATHYANA serious

Sheep, what Jadyn was trying to say was you don't quite fit. Even if we made you up and changed your clothes, you still wouldn't fit. Unlike the perfects, we are soul deep into who we are. Our style, our music just lets the interior go exterior. It's not forced or fake and it's definitely not something you can adopt over night. So taking lessons on being noticed from us may not be the best ideas. Our "noticed" is by accident.


What about all the fact the whole school is scared of you all? Or the way you walk around the courtyard before school blasting your music. What about those five kids that got locked in lockers when only your group was in the school. What abou—


Could you please not act like a damn perfect? If you really wanted to know those things all this time, then you should have come up to us at lunch and asked. Did you? (making intense eye contact with NELA. NELA looks at the ground.) No. The school population is scared of what they don't understand. The early morning music is just to piss off teachers and to have a good time before going into that shit hole of a school. Those kids got beat up by jock perfects who conveniently left for practice right after the incident.


Why do you hate the perfects?

JADYN (both he and KATHYANA smile proudly)

Because one day a long time ago, Kathyana and I told them what they were really about. Who the really were behind all the fake bullshit and ass kissing they do. They flipped a bitch, of course.


Why would you say that if you knew they would be upset? I don't get it. What's the point…

KATHYANA (as she and JADYN get up to leave)

Because ,my darling Cookie, of Rule three: be real with everyone…especially if it stings them.

(KATHYANA and JADYN exit stage right, leaving NELA alone to contemplate as the lights fade out.)