Disclaimer/notice: No, I don't consider the announcement in the forward a violation of this site's mandate against announcement posts, for it is only one portion of an ongoing series.

The Fictionpress Star's Diktat To The Common Rabble
(The Forward)

I was mildly surprised by this, but I am indeed the most popular writer at Fictionpress, according to Google. Just type in "Fictionpress Profile," and hit the "I feel lucky" button. Sure enough, my profile will be the one to show up.

I'm not sure this is a really big deal, however. Take a look at the snapshot taken by the site:

Registered authors: 134,251
Published fiction: 235,644
Published poetry: 542,535
Reviews submitted: 2,668,241
-Source, Fictionpress

That number is down from the 168 thousand the last time I checked. With the field shrinking, that really makes me the king of a dying country, so I'm not considering it much of a blessing. Still, it feels good to be at the top of a cluster of writers.

What's more amazing, this isn't the top search for my pen name. My Fanfiction account still scores higher, a sign that my original works aren't in a great enough supply. So, to satisfy the overwhelming demand, there are a few options readily available. My research has discovered that readers at this site are most interested in reviewing two things, slash with odd premises, and a style of serial personal opinion essay called "personal ramblings."

In the past, I've considered these personal rambling serial essays pretentious on the part of the writer. Actually, I still do, but now that my top status is validated by the world's most popular search engine, I'm compelled to give the masses what they want.

I do have an interesting and amusing premise for a slash story, I think I can throw together a few opinion pieces for public consumption much faster. While they'll come quickly, you have my promise they'll be of a quality above those commonly labeled rantings, in that the caps lock will be disengaged, formating will be crisp, proper sourcing will be indexed, proper grammar and spelling will be observed,

abrasiveness will be avoided, and details will be fact-checked. All these measures will brings these ramblings above the bare minimum standards of the essay.

-The friendly neighborhood Typewriter King, as Thanksgiving Day approaches.


It is customary for we a-list celebrities to shine a spotlight on young talent that would otherwise be overlooked. Therefore, I'm generously using my celebrity to pour a deluge of attention onto a writer of considerable talent. As per Mbwun's suggestion, however, the spotlight is specialized for writers unfairly censored by the site's ratings screen, which, by default, only displays stories of the K-through-ratings. I hope you love rated-M stories.

Today's choice is No Frontlines by Cheah, a story penned by a Singaporean patriot known in military writing circles for exhaustive research. This story is his effort to draw attention to the geopolitical reality of his home country.

As a fellow Internet celebrity would say, read the whole thing.

For More of My Arrogance

I'd previously finished a counterpart to this in the biography section, titled Transcribing The Truest Typewriter Ribbons. I've received complaints about the formatting. Lo siento. Still, it has a few gems in it, highlighted before a whole lot of mundane scribblings.

The following, my first entry in this series, was a thoughtful musing written after Hurricane Wilma swept by my home.

On Floodplains: Not The Commode To Serfdom

Coasts and floodplains, when they merge in the same region, provide a natural life force for economic productivity, but also present a danger to the same prosperous region it flushes with wealth.

Southeast Asia, with downhill springs and monsoon coming out of the Himalayas, is such as region. Prior to 1960, the area had been on economic par with Africa, but as the trade lanes integrated with the developed world, a bountiful agricultural system climbed ahead of Sub-Saharan Africa, for that region's rich wetlands lay inland, more isolated from international trade. Subsequently, that region wasn't developed at the same pace.

The United States of America has a region similar to Southeast Asia, the Deep South. This area is situated along the Gulf Coast, a warm bodied area of water long ago called the "Spanish Main" by mariners. A mighty river, bisecting the continental United States, emptied into this region. Through this river, goods could move down from the Great Lakes region to this warm region on a rich floodplain.

Sometimes, this bountiful cup runneth over and displace those who've prospered in the good times. Many become convinced only of the merits of the danger, and overlook the previous wealth in trade. Many people will firewall themselves from the prosperous region, only seeing the danger. Others, seeing the return of opportunity, will wring out their clothes and again seek out the prosperity. We call these people brave because they feel the opportunities of the Gulf floodplain are well worth the risk of near-ruin the next time nature provides in excess. I believe these people are as necessary as the floodplains and coastlines in creating wealth, that these people aren't fools.

Others won't see the same wisdom. They won't chase after the same opportunities. They'll stay inland and miss their opportunity. I say disaster shakes apart any rigidness in class structure, and will allow more upward mobility to those who exchange freedom from the sea for freedom beside the sea. I think we'll hear success stories from the courageous who return to the Gulf Coast, despite whispered ridicule from those living upland. Yes, I have heard those.

Some view those who work in these areas prone to nature's excess with disdain. They live inland, or simply on higher ground. They don't understand the benefits of working around the agricultural lowlands, as I bet they don't understand the topographical aspects of what we know of as the Asian Miracle.

Author's Request: Please tell me if the paragraphs are too large.