In the end, it all came down to believing you were in the right.
You had to believe that, when it came down to it. Lose sight of it, and you were lost. The deaths, the hurt, the chaos, the consequences you caused – you couldn't pretend they hadn't happened. They had. They did. They were real. He had caused them before, he would cause them again.
Nor could he deny that sometimes he could look into the eyes, or read the stories of what he classified as the real madmen, and heard what he could be. He could see it in the eyes of the worst dictators, and the speeches of those murderers famed for their acts of genocide. There was the self-belief that drove him too to these acts, the belief that forced his hand and made him do what was really necessary.
The difference was that all the others had been wrong.
He pitied them in a way. He viewed them as failed attempts by the world to create what it truly needed. They had heard and seen the same needs that he had, and in the same way he had had set out to put it right. But in the process every single one of them had gone wrong, horribly terribly wrong, poor things. What should have fixed the world got angled somehow, until instead it caused more destruction. And they never saw it until it was too late. He could see how clearly how it had happened. They had felt the people start to slip away from them, and desperately clutched them closer, trying to pull them into their plans until what had been a dream lay in ruins at their feet, until there was nothing left to fix it and they could only break it further…
And that was when the world usually lynched them. Foolish thing to do – he'd never understood why people bothered, really. Didn't they understand that once someone had seen their dream broken, there was really nothing worse they could do to them? It seemed a shame the world couldn't see that these people had been trying to do them a kindness, and leave them in peace. Yes it had gone a little wrong, yes it had resulted in mass genocide, but they had at least tried…
Wasn't it better to try, and have it go wrong in that way then live your life in apathy and never try at all? Certainly, in change there was potential for great harm, but there was also so much potential for great good.
In his case, it would be great good. He had decided this. He would not be one of those who tried, and ended his days cursed because he had failed and deaths which were necessary gained that nasty name "murder". He would succeed, and when he left the world, it would be a different place than it had been when he entered it.
He could do it. He was certain of it. Because he was right.