Author's Note:- My God, this is old. Five years I think? It was in a very old folder, under the mould - but as I'm doing a clear-out I may as well share.
It was all the great-aunts fault really. Her and her poodle.
The family had been quite happy up until then, and so had the ghost. No one had known he was there, he kept nice and quiet, and kept an eye on them. He was quite fond of them, and he liked the house. It was a good house. He hadnt left it while he was alive all that much, and he didnt see why he should leave it now he was dead.
But the great aunt and poodle came in and knew. And the poodle stood and yapped at him until he wished he COULD leave the house, just for a bit so he could get some peace and quiet. And the great Aunt put her foot down and said there were no two ways about it. That Ghost Must Be Exorcised. No matter he had never done any harm to anyone, it had to be gotten rid of, much to the disappointment of Thomas, the families active young son, who was fascinated by the idea of a ghost in his house.
So it came to be that someone was called to do the job, an earnest young man by the name of Simon, who was most serious about his work. Thomas did what most young boys do when something interesting is going on somewhere near them. He tagged along, asked questions, and generally got in the way.
"Have you come to get rid of the ghost?"
"Because… because it's not wanted here." Simon replied exasperatedly, trying to remember what he was meant to be doing.
"It is. I want it here. Ghosts are interesting. They rattle chains, and go woo, and do interesting stuff."
Simon laughed. "No they dont." he informed the boy. "I have never yet met a ghost who did that."
Thomas face dropped. "Why not? They should be able to go woo. If I was a ghost, then I would want to go woo. It must be the most interestingest part of being a ghost, going woo."
"Well, they dont." he was told shortly. "Youve been reading too many horror stories."
"But what if one did? Because it wanted to?"
Simon, who could now not for the life of him remember what he was doing glared at the small boy. "Look, get this into your head will you? Ghosts do not go woo. If one did, it wouldnt be a ghost, it would be something else, and so I wouldnt have to exorcise it."
Thomas went, a little disappointed by this, and Simon, the end to a bad day coming when he discovered he hadnt got the vital piece of equipment he needed with him went home, deciding to come back tomorrow.
So neither of them heard a very small voice say in a considering sort of manner "Woo?"
The ghost thought a lot that night. Why shouldnt he go woo? It sounded fun. Hed never done that sort of thing while he was alive, hadnt liked to be the centre of attention, always a little afraid he might get into trouble. But Thomas was right, if anyone was to be allowed to go woo, it should be a ghost! And if he was going to be exorcised he didnt have much time left to do fun things like that. He practised. It was fun. He even managed to magic some chains out of the air to rattle. Not real chains of course, but good enough that you couldnt tell the difference.
And so the next day, when Simon arrived back, now fully prepared to do the exorcism he was greeted by a
Startled, he was about to follow through ith it anyway, when Thomas reappeared.
"Wait!" the boy trotted up, slightly out of breath. "You said…" a pause to catch his breath. "You said that if something went woo, it wasnt a ghost and you couldnt exorcise it. And thats going woo isnt it?"
"Ye-es.." Simon admitted doubtfully, knowing it was a ghost. "But…"
"And if its not a ghost, you cant exorcise it! So you can go away!" Thomas knew it was a ghost as well, but there was no way he was going to let something as interesting as this slip by.
Simon gave in. Hed had enough of this family, frankly he would agree to anything just to get rid of Thomas. So he drove away, boy and ghost watching him leave happily.
The ghost is happy. Hes never had so much fun before! Going woo is a really enjoyable hobby, and its amazing how therapeutic chainrattling can be.
Thomas is happy. The ghost is the most interesting thing hes ever seen. He spends hours watching him go "Woo", and joins in a lot of the time.
The poodle took one look at the newly "woo"ing ghost and ran off. The great aunt followed with a sniff, and neither ever came back.
And what of the family? Haunted by a noisy chainrattling ghost? Theyre happy too. He keeps Thjomas occupied, and as anyone with experience knows, a bored, and curious small boy is much worse than any ghost!