Every morning she would wake up and make herself a peanut butter and banana sandwich, and then she would walk to the bus stop six blocks away. She had counted once how many steps it took to get there: one hundred and eighty six.

She would sit on the bus and look around herself, trying to be discreet and not attract any attention. Once the woman she sat next to looked up at her and she smiled at the woman but the woman did not smile back.

She sat in Math and wrote on the margins of her notebook. Writing her stupid poems or song lyrics she had stuck in her head. She wrote down thoughts she had that she liked. She wrote down things someone had told her when she was very young.

At lunch she wouldn't open the plastic bag she had her sandwich in for fear of hurting someone who might be allergic to peanuts. She would sit on the floor near her locker and look around and listen.

After school she would go to her locker and pack her backpack and put on her coat. Then she would stand in front of her locker and try to remember what had happened that day and if she had a test tomorrow.

Every day after school she took the bus home and looked around herself, trying not be too obvious. There was a homeless woman who took the bus sometimes; her skin was the driest thing she had ever seen, sometimes she thought to herself it was body dandruff.

When she got home she would make herself a snack and she wouldn't watch TV. She wandered through her house until someone noticed and ask her what she was doing. Then she would run to her room and close the door tightly behind her.

After dinner she would think about doing her homework, but she didn't feel like it, so she left it on the floor and read a book instead. Whenever she finished a book she felt sad because it was one thing less to do in her lifetime.

She never fell asleep as soon as she lay down to bed. She would always lie awake thinking about things. Everything and nothing in particular as they would say, and she would laugh at her own thoughts.

In the morning she would wake up and make herself a peanut butter and banana sandwich and she would leave to walk to the bus stop. Today it took only one hundred and seventy three steps.

But she never told anyone.