Smile

You were always beautiful when you had to be

And how tempting you were

Out of reach, barely an inch of separation

The water pours against my body

And they shout at me

Separated by a flight of stairs

And a locked wooden door

Barely soundproof with the aid of my shower

You want me

They want me to change

I start to tear

And drop my intuition razor

Watching the bar of soap around its blade

Disintegrate under water

I take a seat in the basin of my tub

Suddenly, I'm somewhere else

You pass me,

Strolling through familiar places I've never gone alone

And ask me if I'm lost

If I weren't

I wouldn't share

But even that doesn't occur to me now

They've abandoned me, I confide.

Anything they say or do for me Or I, for them

Nothing will take it back.

You remain silent, barely listening

But the way you study me as I speak

Makes me feel important

They've taken my best friend.

I continue, as it comes

I have to tell every friend I've made

That I'm not the person they love

Anymore.

You tell me to go on

I have to abandon them

Any brave word I say to them

Is meaningless.

Perhaps it was the counter-subtlety of the moment

That made me stay

And wait for one more person

To enter and leave my life

You pull me into a passionate kiss

Taking advantage of every tear

Every second of my speech

Everything I can't find in the people I love

You'll love me, for now

They don't know me anymore

And you never really did

You hurt me in these dreams, but my senses answer to nothing

For the first time in my life, I belong to myself