It tore at my heart

when I spoke of you today

the pain of loosing you

it never goes away

you took me to your side

placed me underneath your wing

You taught me how to stand

you taught me how to sing

You were my arch-angel

my guardian brave and strong

You taught me how to serve

and to my own self belong

You let me call you Master

let me curl up at your feet

You seemed so very stong

you never knew defeat

You taught me all your wisdom

How to see through my unwitting lies

You taught me about honor

and to never need disquise

How I cherish our few times together

I still hold them to my heart

how I curse the very gods

for tearing us apart

I sat there at your feet

laid my head upon your knee

I told you all my secret fears

yet you still respected me

You told me I was a woman

A creature of opposing sides

half a servent half a lady

I now see it through your eyes

I have been at war with myself

withour your guiding light

I cannot bear the pain

I wish to give up the fight

I fear that when I lost you

so many mistakes I made

I felt so lost and loney

your memory I betrayed

I forgot all that you taught me

how to see through pretense and disquise

He claimed he'ld been your student

My pain had blinded my eyes.

He tried to break my spirit

he succeeded in breaking my soul

He tried to break my heart

and turn it black as coal

he tore apart me pride

He tore apart my life

he put me do so very low

that's when I found the knife

But First I begged my freedom

but first I begged release

he laughed when he dinighed me

so in death I saught surcease

The gods they seemed to mock me

They seemed to strike a blow

No matter how hard I tried

my blood it would not flow

My first attempt had failed

as did my second and my third

but HE never noticed

never listened or observed

Then finally there came his friends

and one did grab my wrist

He wondered at my gasp of pain

called my "Master" to assist

Twas then he threw me out

Was then he cast me aside

not caring he had taken all

I had no where to abide

My anger rose within me

it made me strong and tall

I gathered up my courage

and my friends and family call

I took back all he'ld taken

Like you had taught me to

I stood up to him looked in his eyes

And told him he was through

but my own heart was broken

my spirit sick and sore

I felt myself destroyed and worthless

and it thus I came to Gor

I had to fight for my freedom

I had to fight for my place

I wished to revive your memory

To burn out my disgrace

ten years I have lived there

Yet seldom spoke of you

The pain as fresh as yesterday

vicious cold and cruel

And the I met another

A man both strong and wise

He seemed to see right through me

to cut through my disquise

he listen to my pain

He listened to my heart

For a moment it felt

like we had never been apart

I found myself reacting

Like I used to do with you

I found myself remembering

All the things we used to do

My heart it felt so happy

after all these tear filled years

I never felt so free before

I lost all of my fears

I fear I acted foolishly

In my memories of you

I fear I kissed him soundly

Like I used to do to you

I fear that for a moment

I forgot how to behave

I know you taught me better

before you went into your grave

I hope you can forgive me

Though are are not here to ask

I hope that you are proud of me

Though others take me to task

I tried to remember what you taught me

To my self and soul be true

To hold my honor tightly

so like few others do

to stand up to my Pain

To stand up to my fears

Even though it causes me much

in agony and tears

I finally found another friend

who seeks to understand my pain

My arch-angel will you bless him

Make him laugh and smile again

He didn't seem to hate me

when I told him of my past

I have accidently hurt him

please do not let it last

Oh my beloved teach,

Master of my soul

Comfort him and me today

Heal our hearts and souls

I fear it hurt my soul

when I spoke of you today

The pain may someday die

but the loneliness never goes away.