Every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end.
–Semisonic
Introduction: Welcome to My Life...
Okay, Mr. Abernathy, I'll take part in your little "psychology" assignment, even though we all know that it's really an English assignment (seriously, who keeps a psychology journal? If you wanted to be an English teacher, why didn't you go out and get your English degree? You would have made an excellent English teacher, Mr. A, I'm not kidding…and for one, a whole bunch of psychology students wouldn't be scorning your name for assigning a journal over Christmas break if you were an English teacher… Okay, they probably would, but they wouldn't have half the ammo to use against you if you were an English teacher. I've heard a lot of negative things, Mr. A—but I stood up for you, of course.)
Now I'm not trying to suck up to you or anything like that, personally, I don't think I need to anymore…it's just…I'm just…yeah. I guess I'm stalling a bit, and I don't understand why—it's not as though you're allowed to share this journal with the rest of the teachers on staff…right?
I'm not paranoid, I swear.
The only reason I even started writing today is because I had nothing better to do. (Sorry, I should probably phrase that better…but then again, it is my journal, and I should write it like I feel it, right?) Now, you said that we should start of with a shocker, so I'm going to try to shock you. Though I don't expect it to work, but here goes: I'll admit my biggest, darkest secret.
I'm in love with my best friend.
Okay, so it's not the first time that I've had this thought, I think I've known that I loved him since before the dawn of time (or since the moment I was told that it was how I felt about him...) or perhaps that's a little overly dramatic. Let's just say that I've known for years—which, in my life, means practically forever.
Hey, I'm eighteen—I've hardly even lived yet, loving a guy for over nine years is more than half my life. Therefore, I'm not being that dramatic when I say that I've loved him for a pretty long time, and how can you help but not love him? (Well, okay, I'll understand if you don't…because that would be weird, and not just in the obvious way. I mean, you're way older than him, and you're his teacher—not that I'm against your sexual preferences, although I'd hope that you told Trisha, if that's the case…please don't knock of a letter grade because of that comment.) He is one of the sweetest guys that I have ever known. He's the one that brought it to the principal's attention that the community would benefit from the high school if we made community service a part of our classes. Hence the fact that it's now mandatory to put in eight hours of community service every semester…but I bet you already knew that…and how could you not? You were a major supporter on that claim.
He cares about others before himself, that's a great quality in a guy. Just like the fact that he is very interested in our environment and worries about the state of the earth. He actually adopted a tree in the tropical rainforest and a manatee down in Florida. He's also captain of the football team and a vegetarian.
… And you know who I'm talking about already, don't you? Well, in any case, I'm taking this time to write down the horrible occurrence that happened last week—something I'm sure I'll never forget. I figure, the best way to get it off my chest is to write about it—and then I'd be killing two windows with one stone. For I could write it all down and finish my journal project for you. Great thinking, huh?
….And I was also hoping maybe you can tell me how to feel, because I don't know what to feel anymore. So, is that a plan? (I know as a psychology teacher you probably have some issues with this question, but you've got to help me! I'm really confused right now—and not just because I'm a teenage girl, this has a lot to do with love. Like…what am I supposed to do? It's my senior year and my best friend doesn't know that I love him! Moreover, he's planning on going to UCLA next year and there's no way in Hades I'm going to California—I hate the sun. Besides, I've already been accepted into Simmons College in Boston. Should I tell him? Or shouldn't I? I'm definitely not pulling Felicity and following him to college…)
Alright, Mr. Abernathy, anything I disclose with you is absolutely and completely confidential, okay? I would hate if this were to get around the school, around my house, or worse, to my best friend himself. Even though he'd have to be a complete idiot if he didn't know the half of it already—however, men are known for being dense. (Like when they think that I woman won't say yes to a wedding proposal by the man she loves…)
So, just be extra careful, okay? That's all I'm asking.
A/N: Well…I don't really have anything to say here. Please review?