let me bang my head once more against the wall
you said you'd catch me; should I fall?
I've stolen words and bits of glass
still waiting for futility to pass
raindrops fall like tears I'll never shed
the face, the hands, the voice still ringing in my head
to wait is to invite Death in for tea
broken words obscure what I'm to be
for fear I cannot bear to face those eyes
and regret that tears my soul with every lie
old habits have been broken by this new life
it is a good death to fall upon blesséd knife
of everything it's you I regret the least
which is why I fear these feelings will not cease
this blesséd fate that damns to deeper Hell
a new freedom that promises stronger chains and darker cell
the exchange of moral judgment for passive feelings
to risk everything for the nothing I've been stealing
whimsical promises to be forever unfulfilled
some future that Fate must constantly rebuild
as nothing fades and eternity begins
lesser mortals await the judgment of their sins
but those who seek a more deifying future
will be to earth beneath the heavens ever sutured
I have always felt lesser than those I love
and empty as I sought eternity above
but there's no greater joy than walking on this earth
even if the happiness we seek is rationed by its dearth
still hope compels us through the empty days
and love proclaims itself in a myriad of ways
once happiness is manifest for us to find
sheer bliss unto the wicked makes us blind

TMK 11.29.2005