Jesse
The Unforgettable Sound
Rating: R
Summary: Just a letter that Lee wrote to Jesse at his funeral (I think). One shot, completely random slash, m/m.

Jesse,

I want to thank you. You've taught me a lot since Dad left, and even though you didn't have to, you helped through everything. I don't know where you'd learn it without a father yourself, but you still told me it all.

All the problems, everything, whenever Mom would start yelling at me for something I didn't do, you'd be there to comfort me.

And when you're stepfather would start drinking and beat you, I'd be there to comfort you. There's nothing that can show how much appreciation I have for that.

I never thought that you'd be gone so early. I mean, the cancer was so alarming...If you hadn't have gotten a check-up and found out about it, I never would have wrote this note. And I can't stop thinking about all the unsaid words. All the feelings that were never shown...Tears that weren't spilt...laughs that weren't shared. There's something that was forgotten, Jesse. Something so horribly important, that I'll never be able to rest until I tell you.

Throughout these years, Jesse, I've learned how to love. From you, just like everything else. I fell in love with a lot of people. Guys and girls alike. It didn't matter to me. I liked their personalities, didn't matter what sex they were.

Which leads me to another point. You grew up by my side, as a guide. You were no older or no younger than I was, and I started to grow attached to you. No. More than attached. I loved you, Jesse. It burns me inside to know that you've died by the time you know this. I knew that I should have told you earlier. I knew you were always gay, because you came out to me when we were fifteen. I treasured and cared for that information. I wanted to tell you that I liked you from that day on, but never got the right chance. It was like you didn't want to make time for it. Besides, it's not like I would've known how to tell you anyway. I never was the one to let people know that, you, at least, know that.

Yes, I was and still am in love with you. I still want you so bad it's killing me inside. If I could make you come back, I'm not so sure I'd want to. I love you, yes, but if I do this, maybe I can get over you finally, and get married or move in, and I can get over you. Not forget you, but get over you.

You were my father, Jesse, and I'll never forget you because of that. There's still nights when I'll recall on what my father used to look like, and I think of you. You may not be my biological father, but you taught me everything I'll ever know, and no matter what happens, I'll always think of you as my father, despite that and that you're the exact same age as I am. I find it kind of hard to believe that the man I loved is dying at the same age I am.

So...I just want to thank you. There's nobody who could have made me feel this way. I love you, Jesse. And I'm going to miss you. A lot more than you'll ever know.

Lee